• “When I got laid off….”
  • “You like that, don’t you, you dirty kitty…”
  • “I only had to clean up ONE pile of puke…”
  • “The Cardinals beat the Vikings…”
  • “The Saints are undefeated…”
  • “The Patriots kinda suck…”
  • “How can I work ‘fuckwail’ into everyday conversation…”
  • “I have a spare PS3…”
  • “The Raiders beat the Steelers…”
  • “Bay of Pigs is not what a group of pigs is called…”
  • “A snowflake just hit me in the eye…”