Dear Syphilis Network,
First, yes I know it’s SyFy now. It sounds like a disease. Like Syphilis. So that is what I’m calling you.
Second. WHAT THE FUCK? No. What the fuck. First you put wrestling on my SciFi. Then it’s the horrible HORRIBLE Saturday monster marathon shit movies. Now this? Link Really? This is your new show line up? Goddamn.
BALL & CHAIN
After months of emotional tumult, Edgar and Mallory call their relationship quits. As they say their final goodbyes, the ex-lovers are nearly hit by a meteorite that, it turns out, imbues them with extraordinary powers. Unfortunately, the powers only work when they are in close proximity to each other. Though the last thing they want to do is stay together, they’ll need to try if they hope to overcome the newly arrived other-worldly forces that threaten to destroy them and anyone else who gets in the way.
ME AND LEE
In this 1/2-hour single-camera series, a down-on-his-luck 20-something undergoes back surgery, only to find that the procedure did not go well. Enter Lee Majors, who claims he has the perfect solution. He entices the young man into his ultra high-tech lab and makes him bionic. Now intrinsically bound together, Majors tries helping his new partner get his life back on track.
ORION
National Treasure meets Firefly in this swashbuckling space opera about an adventurous female relic hunter and her team as they hunt down — and sometimes steal — valuable and powerful objects to sell on the black market, all while staying one step ahead of the bounty hunters hot on their heels.
SHERWOOD
In this “Robin Hood” story for the 23rd century, a young man of privilege teams up with a misfit spaceship crew to right the wrongs of his family.
LEGENDARY
A 1/2-hour single-camera series in which Kevin Sorbo plays an exaggerated version of himself… a former syndicated television series star. When a fan approaches Sorbo to enlist his skills in combating the underworld mythological creatures that threaten to destroy Los Angeles, an unlikely partnership is formed. Together, they use their intimate knowledge of the myths of Hercules to defeat a myriad of beasts.
HUMAN RELATIONS
The Office meets Men in Black in this project featuring an office Temp who slowly discovers that his off-kilter and odd-ball bosses at the strange hi-tech “ad agency” where he works are really aliens working on a plan to destroy the Earth.
ZEROS
In this 1/2-hour single-camera satire, when the zombie population of Marshall City overcomes the 30-foot barrier separating the infected people from the rest of the city, the Zombie Extermination and Removal Operations company (the Zeros) are called in to keep the peace. When they can get out of their own way long enough to focus on a case, they are pretty effective with very unorthodox methods.
Jesus. Christ. Fucking hell, you guys suck at this. What happened? Eureka, Brilliant! Warehouse 13, Awesome! Stargate SG-1, SGA, SGU, Cool! BSG the first two season, perfect. Then…Ball and Chain? Me and Lee? Seriously? You have a plethora of programming to choose from. Just…just air Eureka, Warehouse 13, all the Stargate shows, and Star Trek: TNG over and over. Because it seems that your new show ideas well has run dry.