Oh Desi.
Yes, dear little sister, this is what trying to “be an adult” and “be responsible” and “handle yo shit” gets you.
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Let it be known that on Thursday and today I tried to be a motherfucking adult! The irony (irony? fuck it I don’t know, Alanis screwed up the definition) is that this started with a very childish event. I woke up at 5am on Thursday flailing because I dream i was in a tent full of bugs. In my half conscious state I thought there was a mantis on my ceiling and scrambled to get out of bed. My legs, always the ones late to the party, had no idea what was going on so naturally I fell out of bed on my ass and subsequently on my glasses that had fallen off the night stand and on to the floor.
Now these glasses were awesome not only were they pretty but they had been quite sturdy. I’ve dropped them , stepped on them and even slept on them but they’ve never given in. Until now , apparently I fell directly on the most fragile bit this time, the frame. While yes I had been wanting to get a new pair of glasses I never thought this is the way the old ones would go. I though maybe they’d be my back up pair. I mean those glasses were so effing cool. They were my pseud-intellectual glasses I got when I started college. People complimented me on them especially when they were drunk. I loved those glasses and they went with EVERYTHING! Be that as it may, I had to move on. So I waited for ma to wake up and ask her about the insurance. She said it was ll good and to just go to where I went last time, Lenscrafters.
Unfortunately we forgot to remember that last time I had my eyes examined was 2007 when we were on a different plan. So I called Humana and asked simply for a list of places that would take me. Following their advice I go to TSO who fit me in the day I called them. I sit there in the lobby feeling good about the situation now since it was being resolved so quickly. I had it all planned out. Get my eyes checked then go to LensCrafters, get a new yet slightly inferior pair of glasses done in an hour and then go home and spend the rest of the day doing fuck all because i didn’t have class that day.
But no, as i look over at the nurses they are talking about insurance…they were talking about MY insurance. Oh god.
They told me that i wasn’t in fact covered there and would have to pay 80 dollars or find someone else. I had class tomorrow and my contact lenses were irritating the crap out of me. So i resolved to pay the 80 dollars instead of trying to make a last minute appointment at the other TSO or fucking Temple TX. When i spoke to the actual eye doctor she told me it was because Humana covered eye doctors under the medical umbrella, so I guess that means i have to go to a specialist like my mom to get the benefits. That I understood, I was still pissed but I understood.
So today I wake up ready for my last day before spring break, I had a stack of errands to do, and at the top was go to Eye Masters and get me some mothereffin glasses LIKE A BOSS! Once again my insurance was shot down. They couldn’t find ma in their records and the nice lady at Eye Masters who I told my tragic story to was like “WHA! That’s bullshitter, you call their asses!” This time I was annoyed and called Human again! And they said that I wasn’t covered for eye care PERIOD. Once again I understood, maybe ma misread the info or something.
Then I look at my card. Okay batman riddle me this, if I’m not covered then WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!
Now i looked up Vis903 It seems to say I get frames. So TSO was right but dammit don’t tell me I don’t have a vision care plan PERIOD! So I’ve given up being adult. I’m trying to get a hold of ma because I am a baby and can’t take care of this.
To recap:
