Dear Lotus Notes,
Stop telling me I have new mail in my xplanner folder. In fact, I don’t have ANYTHING in that folder. It’s empty. I deleted everything. And yet, you insist that that there’s new mail there. You are wrong. It’s okay to be wrong sometimes.
Stop telling me I have mail then not show me the new mail. I get little popups all day saying I have mail. But sometimes it’s just not there. Stop doing this. It’s annoying.
Stop delivering mail 18 hours later. I watched someone send me mail yesterday afternoon at 3:30pm. I watched him do it. He typed, he entered my name, he hit send. I didn’t get it until 10am this morning. What the fucking fuck? This happens on a regular basis. When my email is suddenly quiet, I know that the next morning my inbox will be chock full of messages from the day before, sent when I was still in the office, with a delivery date and time of the day before.
LET ME SHIFT CLICK ALL MY MESSAGES, RIGHT CLICK, AND SELECT “READ ALL”. WHY CAN I NOT DO THIS? WHY? THIS IS BASIC UI SHIT!
You sent me a message to turn off my Out Of Office message. How nice of you. Silly me, I thought that since there was a goddamn end date on the out of office reply thingy that you would, you know, stop sending replies and turn yourself off after that date. How wrong I was. Yes, you didn’t send replies, but you didn’t manage to turn yourself off either. You sent me a message telling me how to turn it off. Which leads me to…
Stop giving me wrong instructions. You sent me a message on how to turn off my out of office replies and they were wrong. Hilariously wrong. You sent me to a menu that didn’t even exist. What the fuck is that about? How do you even do that?
Lotus Notes 8.51, you are a festering pile of shit. A festering pile of failed shit in a misery and woe bowl. Christ, if I could not use you, I would. I never thought that I would say this, but you make me miss Outlook.
Die in a fire.