Incoherent Mutterings

I have made changes to my house and property, etc! So, it’s getting better!

1. The hailstorm almost two months ago fucked my roof and patio roof (big holes). UPDATE: Got an estimate. Work starts in about 4 weeks. New roof and a brand new patio cover! Wood and shingles!
2. My siding is old and starting to really look it.
3. Same for the wood trim
4. One of the trees in the backyard is dead. Deader than fuck. And full of carpenter ants. UPDATE: Ants killed. Dead tree removed! So much more sun. 🙁
5. The trees adjacent to them have big dead branches quite possibly from whatever killed tree number one. UPDATE: Turned out to be either a) a fungus or b) “It was it’s time to die. I don’t know. But both tree people agreed I have a fungus on one of the remaining trees. They were all trimmed and fertilized. I resolve to take better care of my poor trees.
6. I haven’t mowed in weeks. UPDATE: I mowed. Now I need to do it again.
7. I haven’t edged since last year. UPDATE: I edged. I’m good for a little while.
8. My carpet is old, filthy, and nothing will revive it. UPDATE: TILED LIVINGROOM! WHOOHOO!
9. Bright yellow countertops.
10. The hole I put through the ceiling in the garage-gameroom 5 years ago is still covered by some random wood.

YAY! Progress!

Apparently my house, my yard, my patio, my property in general is a shithole. Let’s list the reasons why!!

1. The hailstorm almost two months ago fucked my roof and patio roof (big holes).
2. My siding is old and starting to really look it.
3. Same for the wood trim
4. One of the trees in the backyard is dead. Deader than fuck. And full of carpenter ants.
5. The trees adjacent to them have big dead branches quite possibly from whatever killed tree number one.
6. I haven’t mowed in weeks.
7. I haven’t edged since last year.
8. My carpet is old, filthy, and nothing will revive it.
9. Bright yellow countertops.
10. The hole I put through the ceiling in the garage-gameroom 5 years ago is still covered by some random wood.

So. What will it take to fix this shit?

1. Have not gotten estimates yet.
2. Last estimate: $18,000 for Hardiplank. Fuck.
3. No idea. would be fixed by 2.
4. A chainsaw, three guys, and a rope. Or a service.
5. A tree trimming service that actually returns phonecalls.
6. Me getting off my ass and doing it.
7. See 6.
8. Floor and Decor actually having all of the tile I already fucking paid for. Not my fault you held the wrong 20 boxes and now have to scramble and get my shit. 5/16 is the deadline. Either way, there will be no carpet in the living room come June. I shudder to think what I will find when we pull up the carpet.
9. Ugh.
10. A big enough piece of drywall, I guess.

In case you haven’t noticed, I’m particularly grumpy.