I’m about to tell you something that you probably don’t want to know and something that hot, sexy women REALLY don’t want you to know. Because it is a source of shame for some, “meh” for others. Are you ready? No, no. Don’t click away to another page. It’s not *that* bad. It’s just a little disturbing. Okay. Here we go:

Women have hair all over their bodies.

Yeah, see. it wasn’t so bad. Here’s where the scarring begins: women have hair on their faces. Not just the babyfine hairs on our cheeks and faces. I mean whiskers. Yes. Whiskers. Like you guys get. As women get older (and some get them early), we grow thick, bothersome hairs on our chinny chin chins. Somewhere deep in your psyche you know this. Why? Because you’ve had to give grandma a kiss and you saw that hair up close and personal. But you were a kid and blocked it out perhaps. Surely only grandmas get those. Oh NO NO NO. Vibrant young women gets these goddamn things. Shit, some women have a beard that must be shaved, for fucks sake. And let me tell you, there’s nothing like rubbing your face and feeling a rough, wiry hair or two on your otherwise baby’s-butt soft, womanly face. That growing sense of “Oh shit! Can anyone see this MONSTROUS TENTACLE-LIKE thing just WAVING to any and all who DARE look in my direction? Why did no one tell me this HORRIBLE ABOMINATION was just sitting there, LURKING there, ready to reach out and strangle someone?” Then comes the constant rubbing of it because you JUST CAN’T LEAVE IT ALONE because you have no tweezers with which to pluck this unsightly blemish on your visage. Perhaps you eventually run to the ladies room to get a close up on this interloper and you begin to pluck at it with your fingernails. You pluck and pull, never yanking because that just causes the hair to snap. Oh no, you want to pull this fucker out and get the root too. Finally, FINALLY you get it and look down to scream your triumph over this thing which must surely be 3–nay 4–4 inches long to find…it’s maybe a quarter inch long in its fondest hairy dreams. And no one had any idea until you walk out of the ladies room and people ask “why is your chin so red?”

*sigh*

So there you go, guys. Chicks have hair. And those tweezers ain’t just for eyebrows*.

*I have never in my life plucked my eyebrows and have never needed to. Suck it, you hot, skinny bitches!