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Glade Expressions: A Review

So. I am a Bzz Agent. I signed up with BzzAgent many years ago to give my opinion on new products, website, services, etc. This review focuses on the new Glade Expressions line of products. I received a coupon for a free mist kit (I picked cotton and Italian mandarin) and an oil diffuser kit (Juniper Berry and Lavender). I have used the Febreze oil warmer plug-in in the past and was only moderately happy with it. Far too powerful when first plugged in then almost non-existent thereafter. So I was excited to try the Glade Oil Diffuser.

The Good: It doesn’t take up an outlet. And it’s a nice piece of decoration
The Bad: FAR TOO STRONG.

The diffuser lasted one 24 day in our house. My eyes were itchy, my partner had headaches and constant sneezing. I didn’t want to just throw it away, so I placed it outside on the back porch. Once it was outside, all symptoms stopped. The scent is just too much for my small living area, I suppose. I’m hoping the scent will lessen a bit and I can bring it back inside. I had this problem with the Glade candles as well.

The Glade mist on the other hand was wonderful. I sprayed a small bit in a stuffy bedroom. The scent was overpowering at first but once it dispersed into the room, it was very nice. Perfect for freshening up a small room. Just a little goes a long way and I really appreciate that.

The Good: Clean scent that doesn’t overpower for too long. Nice decorative canister.
The “Meh”: Decorative canister means I have no idea what scent I’m using until it’s time for a refill.

I’d definitely consider buying the mist over a Febreze spray next time, but i thin I should stay away from all oil diffusers in general.

Claritin-D: A Review

So. I am a Bzz Agent. I signed up with BzzAgent many years ago to give my opinion on new products, website, services, etc.This time around I received coupons to try out Claritin-D. Claritin-D is like gold in pill form around my house. So I was well aware of it’s lovely allergy related decongesting abilities. This promotion, however, was to make people aware that you can use Claritin-D not just for allergy related congestion, but for standard cold congestion as well. (Un)Lucky for me, my partner had a cold. A full on bona fide cold bordering on flu. His congestion was so bad he sounded like he was drowning at night and completely stuffed up during the day. Our plan was to keep him drinking hot liquids (lemon, fresh grated ginger, and honey in hot tea/water) during the day to help with the cough and sore throat and a nice Claritin-D to keep his nasal passages clear at night. This way his system wasn’t bombarded with several different medications (cough, headache, sore throat, sneezing, etc). And it seemed to work! Claritin-D kept him breathing at night with little problem, just like it does when cedar fever hits the area.

We both know how well Claritin-D works, but never really considered it for cold congestion, opting instead for multi-symptom medications which apparently don’t work as well.

The Good: Claritin-D works as well as it ever has.
The Bad: It’s still a hassle to have to go to the pharmacy to get it.
The Super Annoying: The coupon I used was for $10 off. It required a manager override for it to go through. Unsure if this is because of the amount off or because it was for Claritin-D.

Open Letters: Grammy edition

Dear Prince,

Oh God I still love you. Please get whatever surgery you need so I can see you perform one more time. Wow that sounded selfish.

Dear fun.,

You…do not suck. I’m sorry I judged you based on “We Are Young.” But come on. Cut me some slack. That goddamn song gets so much play. I hear it several times a day…AND I DON’T LISTEN TO THE RADIO. I blame Taco Bell. So yeah. I got your album. First track sounds like Queen. You have won my musical heart.

Dear Justin Timberlake,

Why. Why did you have to come from a boy band? A boy band not from my generation? This made me insta-hate you and any music you produce. But then you did SNL. Several times. I grew to not despise you. Interesting acting roles? I grew to actually like you a little. That performance last night? While it seemed a little rocky at first (felt disjointed) I think you finally got me. I am actually going to buy *gasp* you next release.

PS, keep working with the Lonely Island guys, please?

 

Dear Taylor Swift,

I am sooooooo not your target demographic.

 

Dear Janelle Monae,

WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?

Have you started saving for college?

I watch far too many children’s television for my own good. When you find yourself describing the plot to a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic episode because you found it particularly funny, you are watching too many cartoons.

Now, for kids network, Hub and Cartoon Network show a surprisingly large amount of adult oriented commercials. Not “Girl Gone Wild” or KY or anything like that. I mean stuff like Mesothelioma lawsuits, vaginal mesh lawsuits, and Gerber Life commercials.

I get it. You’re a stay at home parent or the kid is home sick. Whatever the case, you’re stuck watching a lot of kids shows. So yeah, why not advertise to the captive masses? But this goddamn Gerber Life commercial. It seems pretty dumb. Parents are sitting around discussing….I dunno diaper rash. And one says “So, has anyone started saving for college?” A chorus of “no” all around. That’s perfectly normal. You suddenly have this crawling, stinky thing that you now have to care for. You’re more concerned about getting through the day with him/her intact than about what might or might happen 18 years down the road.

But then the black couple speaks up. “Oh we’ve started!” Hey cool! That’s pretty neat! Nice little multi-ethnic (not) group, you show the non-white people not looking like idiots. Nice! Until someone responds “How? I don’t even know where to start!” REALLY? You don’t know where to start a college fund for your kid? Have you tried…your bank? Or an investment firm? How about fucking GOOGLE?!? Here, I’ll do it for you: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=starting+a+college+fund

So, once the black couple finishes their sales spiel about Gerber Grow Up plan or whatever they finish with “and the money can be used for something else if she decides not to go to college.” I thought that was a fabulous idea. Until Mr. Obnoxious McChucklefuck pipes up with “Hey, I’ll definitely look into that” turn to his kid and says “Because you’re DEFINITELY going to college.” Hearty chortles all around. Because MY kid is going to college! Because that’s what white people do. Black people apparently give no fucks. I wouldn’t dare of letting my special snowflake NOT go to college. You can let your little underachieving fuck blow all that cash on meth. My kid IS GOING TO COLLEGE.

What, really? You can see the future? Did you know that not everybody is cut out for college? And that your little shit might be one of them who just fucks around for a year at some high priced university (that YOU forced him to go to, fuck state university, right?) bringing home a drug addiction (need that Ritalin and Oxy to dull the pain, ya know?), sexual assault charges (she totally said yes), and a 0.0 GPA.

Or, what if yeah, your bundle of joy DOES decide to go to college and WHAM, Cancer? Or schizophrenia (commonly pops up around 19 years old). With the way healthcare is going in this country, you sure as fuck don’t have the money to pay for what insurance won’t cover. Where’s that money going to come from? Re-mortgage the house? Liquidate your retirement plan (you can figure out how to save for retirement but you can’t figure out how to start a motherfucking college fund???) That Grow Up plan money is looking pretty sweet by that point, isn’t it?

So, fuck you Mr. Obnoxious McChucklefuck.

Christ I hate this commercial.

People of Los Angeles: Quit Yer Bitchin’

“On August 9, 2011, the LA City Council approved plans to build Farmers Field which could be home to an NFL team. Potential candidates for relocation are the San Diego Chargers, St. Louis Rams, and the Oakland Raiders.” –Wikipedia

This is bullshit. Why? L.A. has had TWO GODDAMN TEAMS and lost them all. The Rams and the Raiders. This is such a crock of shit. Why would you take the Raiders away from Oakland? Does LA see someone playing with the toys they threw away and now suddenly they want them back? Screw you guys. Quit your bitching. California has three fucking teams: 49ers, Raiders, and Chargers. You have enough. Deal.

Aelerelean and I were talking about this in the car one day.

Me: Goodell wants to be a big ass rules enforcer, he should just tell L.A. right out that “No. You had two teams and you let them run away. You get no more teams. You couldn’t take care of the ones you had.” Hmph. Well, L.A. can have the Bills. Fuck the Bills. Horrible team. Maybe I could one day root for them if they moved.
Aelerelean: Hmm. The Los Angeles Bills just doesn’t have the same ring.
Me: Fuck’em, they can change mascots. No wait! Make them keep it. And their logo? Past due notices!
Aelerelean: Oh my God that would fit right in!

So there you are. Los Angeles: Quit your fucking bitching or take the Bills. But I’ll be goddamned if you take the Raiders from Oakland. How can you be a Raider from fucking L.A.?

How to remove a Websphere profile manually

In a command shell:

Go to your Websphere install.
Go to the bin directory.
wasprofile -unaugment -profileName <profile_name>
wasprofile -delete -profileName <profile_name>

I’m not even going to wait for the Cowboys game tonight.

Dear Refs,

Wow. not even you guys like the Packers. 😉 Thank you for being you and breaking up fights, and not taking shit. I never thought I would miss you guys so much.

 

Dear Herp McDerp Manning,

I played you yesterday instead of RG3. RG3 is fucking awesome. You broke my heart week one. But I was convinced by SOMEONE to put you in because 1) the Eagles were supposed to suck and 2) the Tampa defense was supposed to be too good for a rookie like RG3.

Redskins 24
Buccaneers: 22

Does THAT look like a crushing defense? Especially if you watched the first half of the game? No. No it does not. So here I am, with a shit lineup because I can’t draft a running back to save my fucking like, my opponent has people I have actually heard of and is even playing a running back from a team that is one a fucking BYE. I’m almost certain he did that on purpose. And you’re starting. God fucking dammit. But you pulled it out. You and RG3 have been pretty even (except for week 1) so it’s been really hard to pick who to sit. We cool, right? Cool.

 

Dear Jets,

I don’t even know what to say. A shut out. SHUT THE FUCK OUT. I have Nick Folk as my kicker because that’s how I roll. And because I am responsible for Nate Kaeding’s first kick, first quarter, week one injury last season because I drafted him. Anyway, Nick was always good for 12 points or something. Not yesterday. 0 points. Zero. Nada. Zip. Not even negative points for missing kicks. Do you know what that means? That means the Jests never got close enough to even attempt points. Like some comedian said, the difference between bad credit and no credit is that with bad credit, you tried and failed. With no credit? You didn’t even try! Blargh! Your team is horrible and you should feel horrible.

 

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2012-09-30

  • BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! #ravens #replacementrefs #nfl #goddellsucks #
  • One day I will learn to spell that asshole's name. #goodellsucks #
  • It's that time again. "Hey, figure out how many defects you're going to find in product you haven't touched yet! By end of business day!" #
  • I'm pretty fucking sure they knew when they needed these numbers long before this morning. Show me a goddamn schedule, you ass monkeys! #
  • "Sorry, thought I fixed the whore button." #
  • Was that three sacks in a row on Aaron Rodgers??? #mnf #
  • BULLSHIT! Another game full of BULLSHIT. This is ass! Packers just got fucked! Unfuckingbelievable! #shitassrefs #mnf #
  • Head ref is from Austin. Dude. Don't fucking bother to come home. Not for a long while. #mnf #refgate #officialgate #
  • I want to see a walkout by the players and coaches for week 4. #mnf #nfl #
  • Surprise. Surprise. Surprise. RT @AP: BREAKING: NFL upholds touchdown ruling at end of Green Bay-Seattle game. #
  • Nice. RT @jharrison9292: Even a child can admit when they are wrong…… What's your excuse? #
  • Oh happy day…Oh happy day! Sane football games are on the horizon. #
  • Holy shit yes. RT @juliussharpe: There's nothing scarier than a squirrel who's not afraid of you. #
  • Hmm. The real refs are back. Now I have to change my pick'em and my FF lineup to compensate for sanity and competence. #
  • Where's the letter and apology to the players, coaches, etc? RT @nfl: Commissioner Goodell sends letter to fans: http://t.co/XhOvyCXc #
  • "Error during "install" phase" No shit? Really? Thanks for being SOOOOO helpful! #
  • I just reached Level 6 of the "Hot Tamale" badge on @foursquare. I’ve checked in at 25 different Mexican Restaurants! http://t.co/pwf5DHWo #

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Open Letters: Yes, I’m really that angry

Dear replacement refs,

You are truly horrible. You have no business in the NFL. Not just because you can’t learn the rules (there’s a lot of fucking rules, takes years to learn) in a short time. Not just because you all apparently have the worst eyesight known to man. But because you have no control over anyone. Not the players, not the coaches. You are the substitute teacher that none of the kids respect. Oh you could have had them had you been hard-assed in the beginning. But no. You guys couldn’t throw a flag. You just kinda tossed them on the field. You needed to throw that shit like you meant it. You waited far too long. You also can’t break up a fight for shit. Not a single flag is being thrown by you guys for flagrant fouls and fights. Therefore the player give not a single fuck because there are no consequences.

Dude, one of you guys got punched in the goddamn face by a player and you did nothing. No wonder you have no control! But now all of a sudden there’s a rule about coaches approaching and intimidating you? Oh honey. That’s not going to do shit. Because you have 250 pound guys that are attacking you. I watched Ray Lewis walk up to a ref after another bad call and target him. He pulled that “I see you and I will remember you” move. You guys should all be shitting kittens.

You know you’re wrong. You know you’re out of your league. Yes, it was a once in a lifetime opportunity. And you had it. Now walk off. Because you’re causing serious damage to players with your ineptitude.

Do us all a favor and just leave.

Open Letters: Roger Goodell has no soul

Dear NFL,

Stop this. Stop this ref lockout. This is insane. Did you not watch the Ravens game? Or the Monday night game last week that took almost four fucking hours? Did you not see these horrible travesties? Can you not see that this is a problem? I am apoplectic with rage over something that was meant to be entertaining. I have no money riding on any of this and yet I burn because this is flat out stupid. None of this needed to happen.

You had a stadium full of people on national television chanting “BULLSHIT”. I got goosebumps. It was awesome and so true. Sunday night had me pissed. But last night….

Jesus H Christ on a stick. That win was stolen from Green Bay. Stolen. Ref number 84 had the correct call. Jennings had the goddamn ball with both hands and his goddamn chest. How does two hands and a chest lose to one goddamn hand? HOW? That was a clear interception. I saw it, Aelerelean saw it, Tirico and Gruden saw it, dead blind people saw it. Yet these officials couldn’t see shit. With that one call you have irrevocably tarnished the reputation of the NFL. Professional wrestling has more integrity than the NFL at this point.

Roger Goodell, you are an ass. You think that the refs are doing a fine job. You are full of shit. How can you even believe that at this point? How can you believe that the regular refs don’t deserve whatever they are asking for? Yeah, they have their fuckups, but how often is that? Rare enough that it’s an event when they seriously botch a call. With these replacement officials, it’s every goddamn game. And not small calls. Huge calls. GAME CHANGING, SEASON CHANGING CALLS. EVERY. GAME. This is not why we, as fans, watch. We want to see a good competitive game. A fair game. This is not what we’re getting. This is not what we paid for through our stadium tickets or pay-tv subscriptions or swag.

Players and coaches! Is this why you play? Is this why you coach? Do you feel this is somehow right? I know you don’t because I see it in the news and all over Twitter. Goodell’s short sightedness and let’s face out, outright cheapness is hurting you. Literally. Between the fights on the field and the missed calls, someone is going to die. That is my biggest fear. Someone is going to die or have a serious career ending, life altering injury on the field because of this bullshit. Is it worth a player’s life to fight over fucking money for the refs?

You know what I want to see? I want to see a walk out. I want to see the players and coaches stage a walk out for week 4 (5, 6, 7, until it’s fixed if need be) in protest. It would be 6 kinds of awesome to watch as a game got started, right before kickoff, every player, every team staff member, and every fan walk the fuck out of the stadium.

This needs to be resolved IMMEDIATELY. How you, Goodell, can’t see that is fucking beyond me. Oh, I know why you can’t see it. It’s because you are evil. You contain more evil in your soulless, remorseless body than the most evil of all entertainment based companies in the country: Time Warner.

And that, my friends, is a whole lotta fucking evil.