Incoherent Mutterings

• So weird to think that Kim Jong Il is actually dead. #
• is finally playing Civilization V http://t.co/slKYRTyB #
• HOARDERS MARATHON!!!!! Vacation ROCKS! #
• I'm at Container Store (9629 Research Blvd, Great Hills Trail, Austin) http://t.co/LCosHyUm #
• I'm at Costco Gas (10401 N. Research Blvd., Austin) http://t.co/CPYotoYU #
• What is it about Christmas that turns drivers into utter cockbags? #
• If you have to hang your groceries from the chandelier so the rats don't eat your food, dear God how can you not see that you have a problem #
• Why is my package going from Memphis, to Dallas, to San Antonio, then finally to Austin? Did it have family to visit in San Antonio? #
• Oh Happy Day! AT&T Officially Ends Plans To Acquire T-Mobile USA #
• For the love of all that is holy, Steam, what do you keep needing to download for Left 4 Dead 2????? #
• If someone gives you a check (that's not part of an Internet scam) and you're broke YOU FUCKING CASH THAT SHIT! #hoarders #
• I'm at Opal Divine's Marina (12709 N. Mopac Expy., Parmer Ln., Austin) http://t.co/HVsOJxvz #
• I'm at Fry's Electronics (12707 N. Mopac Expy., Parmer Ln., Austin) w/ 4 others http://t.co/WI09BnQO #
• Oh my God, real honest to goodness UK chocolate smells soooo much better than our poor excuse for chocolate. #
• I'm at Tomodachi Sushi (4101 W Parmer Ln Ste E, at Silver Creek Dr, Austin) http://t.co/9xYKJ1KU #
• My parts for my (Intel…sigh) machine have arrived! Goddamn, Newegg, do you use teleporters? #
• I'm at iPic Theaters (3225 Amy Donovan Plaza, Austin) w/ 2 others http://t.co/7RoyYF0t #
• I'm at Toy Joy (2900 Guadalupe St, W 29th St, Austin) http://t.co/mFSW05q0 #
• I have a grumpy. New mobo/chip won't let me restore win 7. Must reinstall all the things. Not very happy. *pout* #
• FUCK!!!! I most certainly did NOT want windows 7 home basic! FUCK! #hourwasted #
• I'm at Brick House Tavern + Tap (11680 Research Blvd., Suite A, Austin) w/ 4 others http://t.co/gpiIyXup #
• Hey LEGO, remember this ad? http://t.co/LJo4uDGI Look! A girl! With non pink LEGOs and no girly minifigs. #GirlsLikeLEGO #
• One day, when I have more money I think I will rent a Krampus for my Christmas party. http://t.co/a2K4lFe4 #
• I found my new favorite Christmas movie. http://t.co/wJxlk6nC Netflix. Instant streaming. Lovely. #
• I'm at Sonic Drive-In (12453 Lamplight Village Ave, at Parmer Ln, Austin) http://t.co/emcDw6tM #
• I'm at Alamo Drafthouse Cinema – Lake Creek for Master Pancake Christmas Show http://t.co/DZyy0LTN #
• Good lord this is the slowest version of It's Cold Outside ever! #
• HOLY SHIT MY COUNTERTOPS ARE HERE. #
• Annnnd, they cut my countertops wrong. #
• So, now I have no countertops. They lied about delivery then fucked up the job. #
• Wow. So because the countertop guys fucked up, I have no kitchen until sometime in January. Fuck everybody. #
• I'm at Fuddruckers (1991 N I H 35, i-35 & 3406, Round Rock) http://t.co/ziDonlaq #
• Looking for tamales. (@ Barton Creek Farmer's Market) http://t.co/gjMcApwy #
• It's christmas eve and raining in Austin. If you're going out, watch out for cockbags. #psa #
• I'm at Spec's (10515 N Mopac Expy, Austin) http://t.co/UKNsIg78 #
• I'm at Tacodeli (12001 Burnet Rd, N Mo-Pac Expy, Austin) http://t.co/rD4ARlFO #
• Shit! I forgot there was football today! #
• I'm at H-E-B (12407 N Mopac Expy, at W Parmer Ln, Austin) http://t.co/0zPHnajy #
• Merry Christmas, everybody! You too, moviehouse! #
• Ahh Walgreens on Christmas morning. It's almost become a family tradition. (@ Walgreens) http://t.co/n3CVjcLx #

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• I'm at Round Rock Premium Outlets (3201 Oakmont Dr, Round Rock) http://t.co/iRXudIa2 #
• I'm at Target (1021 W University, Georgetown) http://t.co/JRFdnffa #
• I just unlocked the Level 5 "Mall Rat" badge on @foursquare! Preettty much an expert. http://t.co/7qMNX4vt #
• Someone's getting The Bieb for christmas! http://t.co/dOZZop7g #
• Yes, another damn Target. (@ Super Target) http://t.co/vcTZSCv4 #
• Cowboys games require alcohol. http://t.co/QweSHjW2 #
• Poor sad Christmas tree. just until the kitchen is done. http://t.co/qdzsKHcG #
• I'm at Tacodeli (12001 Burnet Rd, N Mo-Pac Expy, Austin) http://t.co/2ViNNW2q #
• I'm at Bed Bath & Beyond (9333 Research Blvd, Austin) http://t.co/u9rXbIcK #
• I'm at Home Depot (10515 N Mopac Expwy, Braker Ln, Austin) http://t.co/zfJAoaQ6 #
• Two coaches fired today. Must be Christmastime in the NFL. #
• Work internet connection: if you think that going slow as molasses in Alaska will stop me from surfing, you are so mistaken. #taurus #
• e! #
• Um…I missed a whole sentence there…. #
• is finally playing Civilization V http://t.co/slKYRTyB #
• I just purposefully put Mariah Carey "All I Want For Christmas is You" in my Christmas playlist. I must be ill. #
• "Gin, on the other hand, is the devil's piss fermented in a barrel of pine needles and juniper berries." YES. I LOVE THIS MAN! #
• Really? Feature Freeze is scheduled for 12/23? Really? #
• HAHAHAHA and all functionally tests complete on 12/23 as well? Thanks for telling me today. 3 days before I go on vacation. Until January. #
• In case my last two tweets weren't clear: DON'T SCHEDULE RELEASES NEAR THE HOLIDAYS. #
• I'm at Cheddars (13301 North Highway 183 # B, Austin) http://t.co/jndukbgq #
• is finally playing Civilization V http://t.co/slKYRTyB #
• Geeks and their kids. http://t.co/s2hiZvwP #
• I'm at Masala Wok (Austin) http://t.co/r3HRlAdP #
• Ahahahahahaha! http://t.co/koqUtNAj #
• It is 75 degrees and humid as fuck outside. What the hell, Central Texas? It's a week before Christmas! #grumpy #
• is finally playing Civilization V http://t.co/slKYRTyB #
• I unlocked the Seriously?!? achievement on Civilization V! http://t.co/slKYRTyB #
• This work laptop, I swear to God, I'm gonna punt this fucker over the fence. #
• Know what's going on in my kitchen? Cabinets being hauled in and assembled! SQUEEEE! #
• 2011 has been an expensive year…. #
• is finally playing Civilization V http://t.co/slKYRTyB #
• I unlocked 13 Steam achievements on Civilization V! http://t.co/slKYRTyB #
• Cabinets are now installed, I repeat: Cabinets Are Now Installed. #
• Going away happy hour (@ BJ's Restaurant & Brewhouse) http://t.co/rzDh5fOn #
• Man Transforms Mercedes McLaren Into Giant POS http://t.co/PXyt6Xoh #
• Hooooly crap. What happens when an educator takes a kids standardized test: http://t.co/Zg7KDv5I #
• LEGO, you tried 5 times to target girls. You failed 5 times. WHat makes this time different? http://t.co/FF3lwkmK #
• LEGO, stop making dolls and dumbing down LEGO sets for girls. Just make cool sets. Ditch the "doll play." We have enough dolls, thanks. #
• This is by far the worst minifig ever. http://t.co/cPHEsfUn #
• For fucks sake, Time Warner! You just fucking called LAST NIGHT to sell me shit. Why are you calling again today to sell me the same shit? #
• *sigh* I just bought my first Intel chip for my own build. First. Ever. I'm so sorry, AMD. So, so sorry. #
• In 13 minutes I will be officially off of work until January 9, 2012. Wheeee! #
• I'm at Best Buy (9607 Research Blvd., Austin) w/ 3 others http://t.co/rSYz4G9y #
• I'm at Casa Garcia's #4 (1901 N. IH 35, W Bowman Dr, Round Rock) http://t.co/jzTIY0l3 #
• I'm at Macaroni Grill (9828 Great Hills Trail, Research Blvd, Austin) http://t.co/prnm3ldd #

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• $2.91 for regular! (@ Costco Gas) http://t.co/FTlYRMyg #
• I'm at Target (10107 Research Blvd., at Great Hills Trail, Austin) http://t.co/fiij3T5w #
• I'm at Jack in the Box (9825 Burnet Rd, at Rutland Dr., Austin) http://t.co/csmMwtVZ #
• 3 touchdowns in just over 4 minutes! Damn! #steelers #
• Oh my, Tampa Bay are in their Creamsicle throwbacks. #
• Holy balls, Wallace is a freaking BEAST today! #steelers #
• 5 Bengals players were on him and none of them touched him. Wow. #steelers #
• Goddammit, CBS, I don;t get to watch Steelers games often! I know it's not very competitive, but COME ON, MAN! 🙁 #steelers #cbs #
• Cam Newton just broke the record for rushing QB touchdowns. 14. #
• A crafty post: Holiday Updates http://t.co/ZVLcpccN #
• Thank you, Oakland, for not getting shut out. #
• Never show that Hyundai commercial ever again. EVER. #NBC #SNFonNBC #
• "Oh webmeetings are great! They are the future!" If this is the future then I don't want to live anymore. Ugh. #
• 16 minutes to get a simple webmeeting and sharing going. grrr. #
• I don't want to create an account to buy one fucking thing. I will probably never go to your site again after today. Stop This Shit! #
• What's wrong with sliding on the ice in front of the church? Is it an affront to God or something? #ChristmasCarol #
• Why don't they air An American Christmas Carol anymore? It's Fonzie! Dressed like an old man! http://t.co/2hW1wSAL #
• That's all I can stand and I can't stands no more! I'm turning on the heat. #
• Floor polished, stain being applied shortly! #
• Instead of the Forever Lazy, they should have made a heated Snuggie. #
• What is going on today? RT @keyetv: Deadly Amtrak Shooting At Union Station In Dallas « CBS Dallas / Fort Worth http://t.co/IJkSYUji #
• Stained and polished! http://t.co/xstacpQV #
• I'm at Toys R Us (12901 N I H 35 # 800, Mouse Lane, Austin) http://t.co/0nob5Vvj #
• I'm at Golden Wok (5000 Canyon Ridge Dr, Austin) http://t.co/Rclty8YF #
• I'm at H-E-B (12407 N Mopac Expy, at W Parmer Ln, Austin) http://t.co/J0FOfPvv #
• BOC, GO GO GO GO GO ! #wootoff #
• I'm at Target (10107 Research Blvd., at Great Hills Trail, Austin) http://t.co/dwh3jJPe #
• I'm at DSW Shoes (10515 N Mo Pac Expy, Austin) http://t.co/MG46O0eC #
• I'm at Fuddruckers (11023 Pecan Park Blvd., at 620, Cedar Park) http://t.co/9slNj2CV #
• I'm at Toys R Us http://t.co/3djMnxlh #
• I'm at Sherwin Williams (7925 burnet rd, Anderson, Austin) http://t.co/xEAzMSVw #
• I just unlocked the Level 2 "Fixer Upper" badge on @foursquare! In it to win it! http://t.co/CvKZnrY3 #
• I'm at The Peached Tortilla (Moving Target, See Twitter or website for current location, Austin) http://t.co/d9GO5dUw #
• I'm at Hobby Lobby (12901 N I H 35 # 900, Parmer Ln, Austin) http://t.co/mtNSlHM2 #
• I'm at Jack in the Box (9825 Burnet Rd, at Rutland Dr., Austin) http://t.co/gPLrA9eN #
• At what point are you no longer considered a "new hire?" Way sooner than a year and a half, I'd think. #
• Unless you work for the state. #
• I'm at Sally Beauty Supply (10710 Research Blvd, Austin) http://t.co/GzAqPfo0 #
• I'm at Dragon's Lair Comics (6111 Burnet Road, Austin) http://t.co/34A0pwtj #
• I'm at Half Price Books (5555 N Lamar Blvd Ste, at Koenig Lane, Austin) http://t.co/BJUUF5tV #
• I'm at Panera Bread (9901 North Capital of Texas Hwy, btw Stonelake and Research, Austin) http://t.co/8pXFg3uX #
• is finally playing Cities in Motion and completely ignoring all homework. http://t.co/slKYRTyB #
• I'm at Roaring Fork (10850 Stonelake Blvd., N Mopac Expwy, Austin) http://t.co/AMno62LF #
• I'm at ULTA SPA (9607 Research Blvd, Austin) http://t.co/DkII80Dg #
• I'm at Toys R Us http://t.co/aO9ocG03 #
• I'm at Carrabba's Italian Grill (11590 Research Blvd, Austin) http://t.co/KL3xqubR #
• $82 worth of cat and dog toys and treats. I have neither a cat nor a dog. #
• I'm at Original Pancake House (1700 W Parmer Ln, Metric Blvd, Austin) http://t.co/z7eCeAow #
• I'm at Costco Gas (10401 N. Research Blvd., Austin) http://t.co/Sd0K3F3Z #
• This is a sweater for a Makers Mark bottle! #makersmarkambassabor http://t.co/2jE7BDDl #
• I'm at Spec's (10515 N Mopac Expy, Austin) http://t.co/taglqU6V #
• is finally playing Cities in Motion http://t.co/slKYRTyB #
• I'm at Manny's Uptown Kitchen (9503 Research Blvd., Loop 360, Austin) http://t.co/jgUqJVBo #
• I'm at Toy Joy (2900 Guadalupe St, W 29th St, Austin) http://t.co/AB07S2Rm #
• Awake, showered, and nowhere to go. WHY AM I UP????? #
• I'm at Costco (10401 Research Blvd., at Braker Ln., Austin) http://t.co/9q4IDLot #

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• Sink, microwave, and garbage disposal! New kitchen is so close. (@ Home Depot) http://t.co/xHGuXqM4 #
• I just unlocked the "Fixer Upper" badge on @foursquare! Tool Time! http://t.co/Dwyf2PM8 #
• Best black Friday place ever. (@ Super Target) http://t.co/BZmq3pwn #
• What the hell, Texans? I step out for a bit only to find you down to your 3rd string qb? #
• MUPPETS!!! (@ Alamo Drafthouse Cinema – Lake Creek for The Muppets w/ 3 others) http://t.co/G4P4PIOb #
• SERIOUSLY, COWBOYS? She got hit and tweeted twice and you censor her? Assholes. http://t.co/80ucRLJh #dallascowboyassholes #
• Aww man! My IngenuitTea has a crack in it. I didn't think anything of it until I saw the small puddle of tea under it. 🙁 #tea #realtea #
• Who takes 3 hours to trim a Christmas tree?? #fatherknowsbest #oldtimeradio #
• Where is all this snot coming from?!?!?? #
• "Kawaii" is now in the ENGLISH Oxford dictionary. What? #
• How can my nose be completely plugged (no air in or out) yet a steady stream of water flows right out of it??!?!? Fake sick sucks. #
• Listen. body. If you're gonna be sick, go all the way. This stuffy nose shit is a pain in the hole. #
• 66 games is still too much basketball. Christ. #nbafail #
• I'm at Jack in the Box (9825 Burnet Rd, at Rutland Dr., Austin) http://t.co/ayQmY1KQ #
• Hrm. Why does Jane Curtin never look like she wanted to be on SNL? #
• #YouWasSexyUntil you said you agreed with everything Rick Perry says. #
• What? Why? What? WHAT? http://t.co/sLbECoz4 #
• Demolition has begun. http://t.co/IRWKD3EX #
• is finally playing Cities in Motion and completely ignoring all homework. http://t.co/slKYRTyB #
• Day 1 of no kitchen. (@ Steak 'n Shake) http://t.co/daAsA36C #
• This right here is a really good reason why I cannot be a general contractor. Blargh. And it's only day 2. #
• "Remodeling is stressful." "Oh but I'm not doing it myself. How bad could it be?" FFFFFFFUUUUU—-! #
• Happy hour? (@ Chuy's) http://t.co/U5NkATRr #
• I'm at H-E-B (10710 Research Blvd. Ste. 200, at W Braker Ln & US 183, Austin) w/ 4 others http://t.co/5JQyMjtw #
• I'm at Austin Regional Clinic Quarry Lake (4515 Seton Center Blvd, Austint) http://t.co/lpa9Zj1d #
• I'm at Einstein Bros Bagels (4607 W Braker Ln, Research Blvd, Austin) w/ 2 others http://t.co/kYqtdXGA #
• Do people often get mail (or post) before 9am? It's a good day when I get mine before dark. #
• "I have never heard any woman (or man with taste) express anything but the deepest hatred for the entire Axe product line." #ChristmasTip #
• Kentucky church bans interracial couples to "promote greater unity". http://t.co/Dj2Y8aZQ #whywesuckasanation #
• Because we need more frigging WalMarts. RT @statesman: Wal-Mart says it plans to build four new supercenter… (cont) http://t.co/18LiZbHK #
• 15 kids and 3 baby daddies. Christ. http://t.co/Dj2Y8aZQ #
• Fuck people. http://t.co/YDHB2exz #
• Dear Google, when I type in "Ethel M" I mean "Ethel M". Stop "being helpful" and changing it to "Ethel Merman". #
• I'm at Opal Divine's Marina (12709 N. Mopac Expy., Parmer Ln., Austin) w/ 2 others http://t.co/283OFRxM #
• I'm at Original Pancake House (1700 W Parmer Ln, Metric Blvd, Austin) http://t.co/azpW5Sgg #
• I'm at Garden Ridge (2800 S IH 35, Round Rock) w/ 2 others http://t.co/xnadtBYR #
• I'm at Hobby Lobby (12901 N I H 35 # 900, Parmer Ln, Austin) http://t.co/aJvZNa7G #
• I'm at Walgreens (12550 Metric Blvd, W Parmer Ln, Austin) http://t.co/59qV6Qhc #
• I'm at Golden Wok (5000 Canyon Ridge Dr, Austin) http://t.co/mvtVG3K8 #
• I'm at H-E-B (500 Canyon Ridge Dr W, at Interstate Hwy 35, Austin) w/ 4 others http://t.co/JM8VRIA7 #
• Who approved another goddamn chipmunk movie??? And there's a honey badger joke? Fucking kill me now. #
• I'm at Costco (10401 Research Blvd., at Braker Ln., Austin) http://t.co/HeFjCu1T #

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• "That's weird. It's just like the Jagermeister air show all over again!" #futurama #
• "Hooray! KwanaaBot is here to save–oh they killed him." #futurama #
• "That's a Monty Python defense right there." Did I hear that right? #
• What is going on in Miami? Jesus Christ. Where have the Dolphins been all season? #nfl #
• Hugh Jackson != Hugh Jackman. Wolverine does not coach nor does he care about the Oakland Raiders. #
• Paid my deposit for my countertops! (@ Austin Stone Works) http://t.co/2RGywHep #
• Fine, Apple, you win! Go ahead and update fucking Quicktime. I don't even know why I have it installed. #
• I'm at Sushi Zushi at The Domain (3221 Feathergrass Ct, Austin) http://t.co/IuppRdam #
• I just unlocked the "Bento" badge on @foursquare! Irasshaimase! http://t.co/WQdeXZDA #
• Oh God. What's happening to me? There's NOTHING in the Black Friday sales I need/want. 🙁 I guess I'll just people watch. Like every year. #
• I'm at Dollar Tree (Parmer, Mopac, Austin) http://t.co/c2OV3hfK #
• I'm at Kolache Factory (4101 W Parmer Ln, Between Amherst Dr & Ganymede Dr, Austin) http://t.co/oDm2Tk8o #
• What the hell? Who cares that Taylor Swift took a swipe at Miley Cyrus? Swift thinks of a million people every morning? What? WHO CARES! #
• Young Jets fan reduced to tears, knows WAY more about the playoff picture than any adult I know. http://t.co/kfuF6LLF #
• I'm at Big Daddy's Burgers & Bar (9070 Research Blvd, Burnet Rd, Austin) http://t.co/HhE9TWLy #
• Screw my Pick'em Record. I'm rooting for the Lions over the Packers. It could happen! It happened 49 years ago…. #
• WATCH. THIS. SHIT. RT @DudleyandBob: The Most Insane Indian Game Show Contestants: http://t.co/83RXN2gE #
• What happened to Victoria Jackson? I really, REALLY hope she's just an elaborate troll. Can she really believe the crap she's spouting? #
• What the hell. I'm defending giblet gravy on the internet. #
• I must be allergic to this office. I can't breathe, I'm coughing, and I have gas. Well, that last one I can't blame on the office. #
• RT @bwhichard: AP reporting the Colts are being demoted to the SEC West. LSU in line for the promotion to the NFL. #
• Thanksgiving summed up in one comic: http://t.co/VWcMKn8F #
• Peh. I'm out this bitch. #turkeyday #shoppingweekend #
• I'm at Super Target (13900 N I H 35 # A1, at W Parmer Ln., Austin) http://t.co/thN5AfXF #
• I'm at CVS/pharmacy (825 S Crowley Rd., at Crowley Plover Rd., Crowley) http://t.co/6FnBQ1lp #
• "Dallas smells like wet fried chicken." Ooookay, @Dezdimona16 #
• My mother just walked into someones house. We think its my cousin's. #
• Oh lord, Spiderman: turn off my television…. #macysparade #
• Why are there multiple spidermen???? #macysparade #
• Hey! We counted 3 black rockettes! Up from last year! #macysparade #
• That ocean spray float is what you see before you die. What the christ????? #macysparade #
• Hamburger Helper has a float? What is going on here? #macysparade #
• Dude. You should know the cue to your own song to lipsync to. #macyparade #
• Power Rangers?? Are you fucking kidding me???? #macysparade #
• See that? Neil Diamond doesn't lipsync, bitches! #
• Dear Lions, deliver me from this bizarre as fuck parade. #macysparade #
• Line of the day, during A&M-UT game "bitch, you look like Bevo". #tamu #utexas #
• I'm at Sears (1888 Green Oaks Rd., in Ridgmar Mall, Fort Worth) http://t.co/lqZqByn7 #
• I just unlocked the “Mall Rat” badge on @foursquare! Time for a fancy pretzel. http://t.co/WZv8MtVp #
• I'm at JCPenny (1900 Green Oaks Rd., in Ridgmar Mall, Fort Worth) http://t.co/hNO6TCft #
• I'm at Best Buy (6750 West Fwy., at Green Oaks Rd., Fort Worth) http://t.co/0grWgOuM #
• I'm at Super Target (5700 Overton Ridge Blvd., at Bryant Irvin Rd., Fort Worth) http://t.co/4kKQrGCs #
• What? 10:48 and I'm pretty much done with Black Friday??? Dammit! Want to go more places, but these party poopers want to home. #
• Psh. We've only been out since 6am. Harumph. #
• I'm at Anna's Linens (hulen, fort worth) http://t.co/gPFQ2IY5 #
• Cherry icebox cookies!!!! Hope they don't suck. (@ Collin Street Bakery w/ 2 others) http://t.co/hanvdQTu #
• I'm at Fry's Electronics (12707 N. Mopac Expy., Parmer Ln., Austin) w/ 4 others http://t.co/FCOyEyD2 #
• I'm at Mimi's Cafe (10515 N Mopac Expy, HWY 183, Austin) http://t.co/VniBgbn6 #

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• HEATWAVE! This is my island in the sun! #muppetchristmascarol #
• Hey, hey, hey, hey! Light the lamp, not the rat! Light the lamp, not the rat! #muppetchristmascarol #
• What the CHrist? Was that Larry Hagman at the Cowboys game?!??! #
• Vince Young is in. Vick took a helmet to the back. #
• What happened in Chicago? Big ass bar room brawl on the field! #
• Guess Detroit won't be mounting a late, late game comeback? #lions #
• Okay, Nick Folk, you're my last player. Just need you to kick enough FGs to get me 24 fantasy points. Why are you looking at me like that? #
• J-E-T-S FUCK FUCK FUCK! MY PICK'EM! MY FANTASY TEAM!!! *shakes fist* #
• If you have Rob Gronkowski on your FF team, don't ever bench him. Ever. No matter what the advice says. *cry* #
• Mark Sanchez, you are dead to me. Until next week. #Jets #
• I'm at Jack in the Box (9825 Burnet Rd, at Rutland Dr., Austin) http://t.co/eBkihOQ5 #
• NFL fines player for "excessive celebration" after saluting troops after catching touchdown pass. #nfl #nofunleague #stupidshit #
• Look how "excessive" that knee on the ground and hand on the helmet is. http://t.co/c9OJzCfj #nfl #nofunleague #stupidshit #
• Hate this parking lot so much (@ H-E-B) http://t.co/0iNA9sEn #
• I just unlocked the "Hot Tamale" badge on @foursquare! ¡Ay, caramba! http://t.co/U7sbS0R3 #
• I'm at TacoDeli (12001 Burnet Rd, N Mo-Pac Expy, Austin) http://t.co/rztt2PNr #
• Ranty rant posted: Burt's Bees Sensitive Skin: A Review http://t.co/4TTcIPKM #
• Stevie Wonder DLC for Rock Band! I guess I'm gonna have to break out my game again! #
• I'm at The Peached Tortilla (209 Esperanza, Austin) http://t.co/een6W1ck #
• Ahahahaha! Loved listening to @Carissajaded make @thedanielgallo spaz the hell out. Priceless. #klbjfm #
• DAMMIT! I did NOT want to see The Hunger Games movie…but Donald Sutherland is in it. Crap in a hat. #
• I'd watch a movie of the telephone book if Donald Sutherland was in it. #
• I'm at Taj Mahal Indian Cuisine (12407 North Mopac Expressway, Austin) http://t.co/4HGFUaKL #
• If you are dropping off a package for my officemate, put it on HIS desk not mine. I'm not his goddamn secretary. #
• OMG this kitchen is really gonna happen! Before Christmas! Squeee! #whyIhavenomoney #
• Timeline for the future according to SciFi films and tv : http://t.co/G8nKJA7u #
• My stomach hurts. Gonna be a gassy day. I'd feel bad for my officemate, but that fucker reeks of ciggy smoke a few times a day. #
• Whut? RT @nfl: After back-to-back wins, the Dolphins are talking playoffs ("PLAYOFFS!"): http://t.co/j0qrpsyL #
• What the hell is going on in AISD schools? http://t.co/Do0CZz32 #
• So in an AISD school, you can shoot your classmate with a BB gun and toss death threats and stay in class? Bu… (cont) http://t.co/h2rftmfl #
• Happy hour! (@ Gloria's Mexican Restaurant) http://t.co/xfstvDrR #
• I'm at Jack in the Box (9825 Burnet Rd, at Rutland Dr., Austin) http://t.co/rRogJC4a #
• Why does everything have to go tits up on a friday? #
• Doesn't RSVP mean to reply to say "yes Im going" or "No I'm not"? Not just "Yes, I'll be there"? #
• Huh. An appeals court ruled that the FCC overstepped their authority when they fined CBS for the infamous Janet Jackson nipple-slip. #
• I'm at Fry's Electronics (12707 N. Mopac Expy., Parmer Ln., Austin) w/ 3 others http://t.co/tcraS2hM #
• I'm at County Line On the Lake (5204 Ranch Rd 2222, Austin) http://t.co/w7GaKpzu #
• Can't resist touching (ow my finger!) then tasting (OW MY TONGUE!) the searing hot lava that is my candy (Scot… (cont) http://t.co/e24sTUCA #

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• Who callas a timeout 1 minute and 18 seconds into the game????? #
• JESUS CHRIST COWBOYS! TWO PENALTIES ? THE GAME JUST FUCKING STARTED! #
• Kickoff, penalty (cowboys), timeout (seahawks), penalty (cowboys), no yard play, punt. This is going to suck, isn't it? #cowboys #
• So do the Seahawks. Really? A timeout? RT @dallasprosports: Cowboys already look sad and pathetic. #
• Ready to watch Dallas fail to score in the Red Zone. Again #
• *sigh* and I am not disappointed. Gotta go for another FG. Go Bailey. #
• Here's a tip: If you are at Whatever & Goal, THE OTHER TEAM IS GOING TO BLITZ. PERIOD. #
• Dammit, Chiefs! You are not supposed to lose to the dolphins! Thanks for wrecking my pick'em! *grump* #
• Quickest way to get me to never visit your site ever again: have music playing with no easy way to shut it off. STOP THAT SHIT. #
• Looks like I'm back to swearing at the Bengals again. My pick'em…my pick'em…. But hey! My fantasy league! Woot! I'm so conflicted…. #
• It's gonna be THAT kind of game. #SNFonNBC #steelers #
• Swing and a miss! #SNFonNBC #steelers #
• I'm sorry, did Terrell Suggs just call himself "Sizzle?" You don't get to give yourself a nickname! #SNFonNFL #
• Goddammit! Did we just lose Ward? ALREADY?? Fuck nuggets! #SNFonNBC #steelers #
• I LOVE Mayhem commercials…. #allstate #
• "That's a penalty, that's a fine, but in this game, I don't think they care." Ah, Collinsworth…. #SNFonNBC #steelers #ravens #
• Cincinnati is 6-2? What? WHAT? #
• GODDAMMIT!!!! WHAT IN THE FUCKING FUCK????? BLARGHHGRHRGHAGGSD!!! RAGE!!!! #SNFonNBC #steelers #
• Oh my lord, I am SOOOOOOO GLAD Harrison is back. #SNFonNBC #steelers #
• I have no willpower (@ Jack in the Box) http://t.co/mhpT0h1M #
• Oh surprise, surprise, my facilities ticket was marked complete and it's still hot in my goddamn office. Assholes. #
• I HAVE AC IN MY OFFICE. YAY!!!! Er, is it a bit chilly in here….. #
• LEGO Army assemble! http://t.co/rbR6hFZO #
• CRAP!!!! RT @WootLive: WARNING: only 46 days 'til Christmas. #WeHaveWishLists #
• I'm at P.F. Chang's (10114 Jollyville Rd., Great Hills Tr., Austin) http://t.co/dIT6tPJ8 #
• Dammit, Excel, what the hell happened to Right Click->Fill->Series?!?!? *grump* Got me huntin' all over that damn ribbon….. #
• Fine, engine. FINE! You wanna be a little bitch and not do what I say? Well, I'm rebooting your machine! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! #
• Well, this is depressing. I like football, but goddamn, we can;t do better than 1950's safety? http://t.co/yvbiqSiP #
• I swear to God, engine, if you don;t start properly……. #
• Yeah, you BETTER had start and connect you supposed to. Tha's right! #
• Wait, WHAT??? RT @AustinMovieSnob: What?! RT @emilyooo RIP Heavy D 🙁 #fb #
• Dammit! http://t.co/4plUhpOZ #hiphoplegend #
• I'm at TacoDeli (12001 Burnet Rd, N Mo-Pac Expy, Austin) http://t.co/a3Biqk45 #
• Guess who walked 3.4 miles to work this morning? Guess who doesn't feel the need to do it again. Crap…how am I gonna get home? #
• RT @JamesUrbaniak: Bil Keane is dead. Hipsters nationwide observe one minute of silent détournement. #
• GODDAMMIT WE KNOW! WE KNOW THERE'S A FUCKING EMERGENCY ALERT TEST TODAY! STOP TALKING ABOUT IT! #
• Ah hell, now I'M part of the problem. #
• Oh hey. Bag of Crap. #
• I have clicked the stupidly large gold button. #
• Holy crap. I think I got a crap! #wootoff #
• "Tests Show Most Store Honey Isn't Honey" So…what is it? Thick sugar water? Bee vomit? Zebra spooge? http://t.co/9RjSfKaQ #
• I'm at Sonic Drive-In (10025 N Burnet Rd, at Rutland Dr, Austin) http://t.co/PuleWr2e #
• Why am I *still* getting emails from the school? No, I'm not coming to your ring ceremony. I'm not even going to graduation. #
• Who the hell sets a password to expire at 4:15pm on a workday? #
• "Refs need to be fined for bad calls. " Yes. Yes they do. #nfl #
• I'm at Mimi's Cafe (10515 N Mopac Expy, HWY 183, Austin) http://t.co/oZNwO7hh #
• I'm at Origami (110 N IH-35, Suite 200B, Round Rock) http://t.co/Ofj4Wq1d #
• I'm at Original Pancake House (1700 W Parmer Ln, Metric Blvd, Austin) w/ 3 others http://t.co/JAS6CLjw #
• is finally playing Cities in Motion and completely ignoring all homework. http://t.co/slKYRTyB #

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• Ravens, what are you doing to me???? Why are you stuggling??? #
• That was holding! What the fuck? Stevie Wonder could see that goddamn hold! #SNF #
• This is the Shit Game of the Week. Get the refs some fucking glasses. #SNF #
• And now the crowd chants "Romo sucks!" Sigh. Stay classy, Philly. #
• Michael Vick bought a parrot? Why…why did you mention this? What? #SNF #
• Guess she didn't know how to Disapparate. RT @GeorgeTakei: Apparently, she couldn't drive stick. http://t.co/X90lVTBe #
• Things that Turbo Pascal is smaller than http://t.co/qwaNpp8k #
• RT @FauxJohnMadden: Phillip Rivers current QB rating is "Tim Tebow" #
• Closing on my loan. (@ Velocity Credit Union) http://t.co/68yGJSxn #
• I'm at Sonic Drive-In (10025 N Burnet Rd, at Rutland Dr, Austin) http://t.co/6744gs1S #
• My god. 360 is already horrible. RT @statesman: A meeting about Loop 360 this evening will explain some propos… (cont) http://t.co/9TJM4L1b #
• Fuck this floor, fuck this floor. Fuck. This. Goddamn. Floor. http://t.co/6Vc3wAJ3 #
• Why do I want to see Jack and Jill? #
• Amazon has started early Black Friday deals. SQUEEEE! http://t.co/kJBi6OPc #
• is finally playing Cities in Motion and completely ignoring all homework. http://t.co/slKYRTyB #
• This guy has a great girlfriend. http://t.co/YPUBo9wx #
• When I asked you yesterday what version to use, you said 10.1. Today, you say 10.0. Thank you very much for making me waste a day. Dicks. #
• Omg my kitchen is really happening. (@ Underbudget Kitchens) http://t.co/VCgTTaIO #
• is finally playing Cities in Motion and completely ignoring all homework. http://t.co/slKYRTyB #
• Meat!!!!! (@ Estancia Churrascaria Brazilian Steakhouse) http://t.co/Ca0UpQ2X #
• I'm at Exxon Tiger Market (10800 Research Blvd, W Braker Ln, Austin) http://t.co/jlYfdcwK #
• Dear Ice Cream Man, why did your truck play Deck the Halls, Silent Night and Jingle Bells? You bad man. #
• I'm at The Park at the Domain (11601 Domain Drive, Suite 200, Austin) http://t.co/rs5rTmVr #
• Blargh! Out of bounds at the 7. Can these refs replace the NFL refs? #LSU #

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• Yup. That last layer of tile (or first, going by order of installation) has asbestos. Wheee. #
• "The Saints had more points last night (62) than the Rams have all season (56)" #
• New office. One ethernet port. The port doesn't "accept" switches. I have 5 machines on my desk. #
• The person/dept responsible says "he didn't know we all have more than one machine." We've known about this move for over a year. WTF. #
• I'm at Double Dave's Pizza Works (11900 Metric Blvd, at Stone Hollow, Austin) http://t.co/LXkAVyfK #
• Oh goody! My VOIP phone thingy has a password that expires in 90 days! Could I possibly have more unsynced passwords? Please? #
• Why do I have to log in to my phone??? #
• Worst. Office move. Ever. #
• There is no ac in my office. There are 8 computers in here and two large people. This. This is bullshit. #
• What the hell kind of turf is in Jacksonville? Really short grass? Moss? Painted sand?? #MNF #
• WHat in the FUCK is going on in Jacksonville???? Why is your punter making blocks??? WHY????#MNF #
• 14 plays and 7 yards of offense for the Ravens after that sack. I…I need a drink. #
• That's not football. That's to small to be real football. #
• FUCKING HELL!!! JAGUARS BALL! WHAT IN THE CHRIST. #
• Rice has not fumbled a ball since 2009. Until tonight. Twice. Jesus. #
• "If that stadium gets any emptier a Marlins game is going to break out." ahahahaha. Presenting your Los Angeles Jaguars…. #
• Sorry, you guys, but this game is Uwe Boll bad. Even if you don't watch football, you should watch this game. It's horror. It's Halloween. #
• 4th and 43. Jesus! At least he didn't fumble it. I guess. They may not even be able to punt it past the 1st down marker. #
• 75 yards of offense. Total. #MNF #
• Can't make a decent play? Just go ahead and fight. I guess. #
• Are you happy, Jags and Ravens? you just sent @aelerelean into a choking fit. #
• Ravens file complaint with the NFL about draft day confusion. How about a complaint for whatever the hell it is you're doing right now? #MNF #
• "If you like offense, close your eyes…" I love you Tirico #MNF #
• Hey! You're supposed to be able to punch with an open hand! BULLSHIT CALL! #MNF #
• There's no phone in the conference room. This scrum is being handled by a coworker's cell phone. #
• Why the hell do I need to install special software to connect to the fucking wireless LAN??? #
• Day 2 of no AC. Network is slow and flaky. There is no excuse for this. At all. #
• Head hurts, too hot, wireless took 2 goddamn hours to set up (and it's shitty). *grump* #crabbyday #
• Asshole of the day: It's a tie between the guy who stole $1000 from a benefit for the Bastrop fire victims..(cont) #
• And the guy who broke into Big Brother Big Sisters (busted a window) and stole laptops, other electronics, AND A BOWL OF HALLOWEEN CANDY. #
• Big Brothers Big Sisters of Austin as been broken into 3 times in 3 weeks. There are some serious assholes in this town. #
• Watching coworkers get a flu shot. (@ IBM (building 101)) http://t.co/FiCqzlYM #
• Day 3 of no AC. Contact has been made with facilities. I can now connect a switch to my ethernet port. #
• I'm at Toys R Us (12901 N I H 35 # 800, Mouse Lane, Austin) http://t.co/EGVcwVMI #
• What is this? Why is this? Why is Ice-T white? What? http://t.co/mh602RVv #
• I'm at TacoDeli (12001 Burnet Rd, N Mo-Pac Expy, Austin) http://t.co/GQQGWnrQ #
• I'm at Velocity Credit Union (610 E 11th St., at Sabine St., Austin) http://t.co/l0AmC4aD #
• Office mate is gone for the day! Now I can fart with wild abandon! #
• I'm at H-E-B (12407 N Mopac Expy, at W Parmer Ln, Austin) http://t.co/lmfv9Jcc #
• Dear Austinites, It's only 52 out. No need for hats, scarves, parkas and furry boots. Settle down. #
• South Point Nissan: "Because it's all over when the zombies come." Nice, one, guys. #
• Don't come into my office and say "Wow! It's still hot in here!" Yes, motherfucker, WE KNOW! #
• I want to not cough anymore. Is that possible? Please? because this fucking sucks. #
• Cool! I got my home improvement loan! #
• What is this shit? Egg nog is for Christmas, bitches! http://t.co/dpjigYec #
• I'm at Home Depot (10515 N Mopac Expwy, Braker Ln, Austin) http://t.co/sAyosVJe #
• Christ I hate this parking lot. All Chuy's fault. (@ Brick House Tavern + Tap) http://t.co/0ICG75rx #

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• I'm at Central Market (4001 N. Lamar Blvd., 38th St., Austin) http://t.co/P0P9oSro #
• I'm at Archiver's (11066 Pecan Park Boulevard, Suite 105, Lakeline Mall Dr., Cedar Park) http://t.co/huDk6UAq #
• What the hell, Jo Beth Williams? You don't flush a dead bird! #amcfearfest #poltergeist #
• Man, I forgot how annoying Carol-Anne's voice was. #amcfearfest #poltergeist #
• If you see a steak inching it's way across a countertop, don't shine a flashlight on it. Just…don't. #amcfearfest #poltergeist #
• "This house is clean." No ma'am. No it is not. There's still 30 minutes of movie left! #amcfearfest #poltergeist #
• What the? Why the hell wasn't that clown doll the first thing thrown out of that damn house? Creepy ass clown… #amcfearfest #poltergeist #
• I don't know why, but I really like the "stretch the hallway" effect. #poltergeist #
• "YOU ONLY MOVED THE HEADSTONES!" Cheap bastards. #poltergeist #amcfearfest #
• I'm at Casa Chapala (3010 W Anderson Ln, Shoal Creek Blvd., Austin) http://t.co/YVE0VSYE #
• Checking out our new digs. (@ IBM (Building 906)) http://t.co/7Mw3bZIe #
• I'm at Exxon Tigermarket (12000 North Mopac Expressway, Austin) http://t.co/zvnqv8uO #
• Critter caught in the cube next to me. ewww. http://t.co/xPx9QDqj #
• Burger tour! (@ Hat Creek Burger Catering) http://t.co/owNBWpgs #
• Yes indeed he is. RT @nerdyface: @stephenfry really is the best audiobook reader. #
• Quote-along! (@ Alamo Drafthouse Cinema – Lake Creek for Shaun of the Dead w/ 5 others) http://t.co/tUdp33nu #
• The one thing I agree with Herman Cain on: Black, not African-American. #
• Things you didn't really want to know: American Dad porn exists. And there is a Roger. I am intrigued. #
• RT @scottkeir: Hi @marksandspencer -there's a mistake on your website- all astronomy toys just in boys section… (cont) http://t.co/GB38nRKQ #
• I'm at Home Depot (10515 N Mopac Expwy, Braker Ln, Austin) http://t.co/ATc6kWHo #
• Last day at the building by the lake. I shall miss the greenbelt and the water. I shall NOT miss 360. Screw you, 360. #
• Oh hey, House of Wax is on! With Paris Hilton. Dammit. 🙁 #amcfearfest #houseofwax #
• Flight of the Living Dead: Outbreak on a Plane. What? This is a real movie? #amcfearfest #
• When you fire a gun in the hold of a plane (what), bullets do this thing called ricocheting. That's why your dumbass got shot. #ancfearfest #
• I'm at Carino's Italian Grill (12901 N I H 35, at Parmer Ln, Austin) http://t.co/F8xqdKhC #
• Flight of the Living Dead: Outbreak On A Plane was HORRIBLE. @amc_tv should be ashamed of themselves for airing it. That's a @syfy movie. #
• Never, ever, EVER assume that there is only one layer of kitchen flooring. I don't care if you watched them build your house… #
• There will always be at least 2 more layers of some nasty looking flooring. And one layer of "hmmm, is this asbestos?" #
• SUCCESS! Thanks to an old floor steamer I have now hit concrete! I still wonder if this is asbestos. I hope not. #
• I'm at Austin Regional Clinic Quarry Lake (4515 Seton Center Blvd, Austint) http://t.co/AQQtBkRf #
• Dammit, I was just here yesterday. (@ Home Depot) http://t.co/x8x5jm7E #
• I'm at Logan's Roadhouse (2702 Parker Rd, W Louis Henna Blvd, Round Rock) w/ 2 others http://t.co/vcCyPUya #
• I'm at Lester E. Palmer Events Center (900 Barton Springs Rd., Btw S 1st St. & S Lamar Blvd., Austin) http://t.co/H37iacVR #
• I'm at Shipley Do-Nuts (10019 West Parmer Ln. #100 Austin) http://t.co/ikzybfnC #

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