Incoherent Mutterings

My house was built in 1977. There are a couple of things about it that I think make it better than a new house:

1. The foundation is quite settled. When we ripped up the carpets, there were few tiny hairline cracks (normal) and ZERO big ones.
2. TREES, motherfucker. Real, full grown, adult trees. Trees mean shade, and shade on the house means lower cooling bills. Keep them trimmed, fed and watered. Baby trees fall over and die at the mere hint of a drought.
3. Strong construction. We found this out when we did network drops. The studs are real, strong hardwood. None of this knotted, crooked, rapid growth crap.
4. Not made of Chinese made, poor quality drywall. If my drywall is poor, then it was poorly made in the good old US of A. Yeah, I got nothing.
5. More than 10 feet away from my neighbors.
6. My own mailbox in front of my goddamn house. None of this collective apartment complex-like crap.
7. Plenty of “why in the FUCK did they build it like THIS” moments. In other words, it’s not a cookie cutter house. Yeah!

Okay, it’s not a lot, but I do like my house, even though it’s old and starting to show it’s age.

My house was built in 1977. A lot of shit goes wrong/gets old in 33 years.

1. The sewage/drainage pipe is cast iron. What this means: NO DRANO. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT DUMP DRANO DOWN THE DRAIN FOR A CLOG. *Ahem* It could be worse. I could have a pipe made of tar paper. that’s it, just thick layers of tar paper that will eventually compress and restrict the flow of sewage from your house.
2. The water supply pipes (under the sink and behind the toilet) are possibly copper. What this means: simple renovations can be a bitch. Want to resue the fixture but replace the sink? Good luck. Pray you don’t bend the pipe or…fuck it, just use flexible supply lines like every one else.
3. The gas line running to the hot water heater was up to specifications in 1977. What this means: It’s not up to spec in 2010. Some plumbers will refuse to touch your water heater if it breaks. Some will claim you’re grandfathered in. Welp. It’s been about 5 years since the water heater was replaced. We’re not dead yet.
4. The house came with a “new” above the range microwave. What this means: the microwave was made in 1986. That’s technically newer than 1977. It also means that there is no extra counter space in the kitchen. Why would you need it? The microwave takes up no room! Oh, by the way, a replacement is about $200.
5. The ceilings have acoustical popcorn sprayed on it! What this means: It’s full of asbestos. You can get it removed for cheap by people who won’t seal off the house properly (we’re talking full Andromeda Strain sealing off) or you can pay out the ass. That popcorn starts to look just fine, don’t it? Gives it a nice old school charm…
6. Water supply lines might possibly have been run through the foundation. What this means: If your foundation shifts significantly, you spring a leak and *whoosh* suddenly people are CUTTING OPEN YOUR FLOORS and you’re applying for a second mortgage and turning tricks if your insurance doesn’t cover it.
7. The wall my TV is on has two outlet panels: one for a tv and one for a lamp on one pair of sockets and a place for your hi-fi with a socket to spare on the other! What this means: Powerstrips. Lots of them. Don’t fuck around with 6 outlet strips. I use 2 11 port (or so) strips on one side and an 8 port on the other.
8. In the dining room, I have this lovely almost bay window and in the master bedroom, one of the walls is sort of inset by a foot and a half or so, perfect for a bed. What this means: To get these charming features, something different needed to be done with the framing. And that something different means that you can’t drill into that adorable overhang over the bed nor can you drill into the space directly above that quaint bay window. I’ve tried.
9. Trees. Established trees. What this means: Old trees have deep established roots. So established that they will seek out and destroy your foundation and your sewage line. They also get old and die necessitating their removal or falling on the house…necessitating it’s rebuilding.