Incoherent Mutterings

• I'm at Walgreens (12550 Metric Blvd, W Parmer Ln, Austin) http://t.co/8juXjp2e #
• I'm at Speedy Stop (10800 Research Blvd., W Braker Ln., Austin) http://t.co/LvFFMzlT #
• Will someone PLEASE feed Angelina Jolie?! #oscars #
• Okay, I know I'm an hour behind, but what the fuck is Chris Rock doing with his hair??? #oscars #onehourbehind #
• Cool! Sheila E playing at the oscars!!!! #oscars #80sflashback #
• And yeah, only 36 minutes behind. #oscars #
• Fun fact: Texas still recognizes handwritten wills that does not need witnesses. #tmyk #
• Oh you like my style, say you like my crew? Say you wanna' be under my chest, this turtle neck is like one of my best #
• I am voluntarily watching NASCAR. #
• Hey there Fox 7, using the weather alert system to tell me Big Bang Theory isn't coming on is not cool. At least hide the map. Sheesh. #
• Soooo, the Daytona 500 has points? You know what, I don't think I care anymore. Cars go vroom! #
• I have watched over an hour and a half of NASCAR. Voluntarily. I don't even know who I am anymore. #
• How do you run out of gas in a NASCAR race??? Isn't this why you have a pit crew and radios and gauges and shit? #nascar #
• Whoa! Dude ran into the track drying truck. Full of jet fuel. Which is now on fire. Is NASCAR always like this?? (Drivers are fine) #
• So what kind of damage does 200 gallons of flaming jet fuel do to a road surface? Guess we're about to find out. #nascar #amireallywatching? #
• I'm at Sea Dragon (8776 Research Blvd B, Austin) http://t.co/5fcubYg1 #
• From the forums: "Thumb drives: Like the health center condom jar, but made for nerds. " #
• Why do you have a link on your website labelled "Menu with prices" and when I download the damn thing…THERE ARE NO PRICES??? #
• Holy Crap Davy Jones is dead??? Now who will Marcia get to play at the school dance??? #
• Stephen Hawking goes to strip clubs. Surprise, surprise. He's male, people. Why is this news? #
• How can you not click a link that says "Jimmy Olson, Robot Fucker"? I mean, really! http://t.co/1YciXW1b (SFW) #
• NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! RT @steelers: Hines Ward to be released. Full Story: http://t.co/3KVMwTKB #
• I'm at Fry's Electronics (12707 N. Mopac Expy., Parmer Ln., Austin) http://t.co/yv4xkP0A #
• I'm at Jack in the Box (9825 Burnet Rd, at Rutland Dr., Austin) http://t.co/jetwrKPV #
• I…I must have one! RT @thinkgeek: It's still early enough for juice, right? http://t.co/zW9LW37F #
• I'm at Masala Wok (Austin) http://t.co/lcgnLkxJ #
• Everyone needs a goodnight kiss. http://t.co/sXzbtOxH #
• Real life Muffliato spell! RT @WootLive: We have to get our hands on this. http://t.co/JTG1kJyU #
• Jameson 750ml $25.99 or 2 for $39.99! (@ Twin Liquors) http://t.co/Hj3Y0SWc #
• Burger tour! (@ Culver's) http://t.co/VBEW9zAt #
• What the crap? http://t.co/Sbne6PYM #
• HOW??? http://t.co/EYwRMsLs #
• I challenge @Drafthouse & @OpenRoadFilms to scare me with SILENT HOUSE! http://t.co/ZTC1Ifyc #
• Tornado in Indiana just wiped a town off the map. http://t.co/RM7edp9M #
• I'm at Alamo Drafthouse Cinema for Dr. Seuss' The Lorax 3D (13729 Research Blvd, at Hymeadow Dr, Austin) w/ 7 others http://t.co/lRtJv7jl #
• I'm at Original Pancake House (1700 W Parmer Ln, Metric Blvd, Austin) w/ 2 others http://t.co/QMfWbj7n #
• I'm at H-E-B (500 Canyon Ridge Dr W, at Interstate Hwy 35, Austin) http://t.co/0jIwbD6m #

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• Home internet still out. I have never wanted to watch streaming netflix stuff so bad… #twcaustin #
• laptop got updates pushed. Slow to shutdown Friday, slow to boot up today, nothing responding. What in the fuck? #
• Oh goody, the Helpdesk shenanigans are starting again! #
• Jesus. No. You didn't fix anything. But I'm going to tell you you did because I am done with this shit. #helldesk #
• Yup. that batch file you installed THAT I DON'T LET RUN is working just fine. *eyeroll* #
• HOW IS IT ONLY 10AM?!?!?! Goddammit!!!! #
• Might as well call this Bring Down Monday. 🙁 http://t.co/jcmi8Za2 #
• How in the FUCK can an installation fail while I'm picking options???!??!? FFUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK! #
• Retainer check! (@ Castle Dental) http://t.co/Yhv5VFia #
• I was a big brave girl at the ortho! I get a reward! 😉 (@ The LEGO Store) http://t.co/tappSBlQ #
• I'm at Alamo Drafthouse Cinema — Village for Chronicle (2012/ I) http://t.co/g0jhXtz9 #
• I'm at Alamo Drafthouse Austin (2700 W Anderson Ln, Austin) http://t.co/yFhkYdzF (+1pts) #
• So, Chronicle didn't suck. It was, however, predictable. Especially since they showed the whole goddamn movie in the commercials. #
• I'm at Thai House (9041 Research Blvd Ste 150, Burnet Rd, Austin) http://t.co/7Wm8iQtt #
• Going away happy hour! (@ BJ's Restaurant & Brewhouse w/ 3 others) http://t.co/51fAjP1O #
• This never gets old. Never, never, never. And I thank @StephenFry for giving us this wonderful gift. http://t.co/5aFNz5WF #
• I'm at La Morada Mexican Restaurant (12407 N Mo Pac Expy, Parmer Ln, Austin) http://t.co/6StAQMy2 #
• YES! RT @JimGaffigan: Aw, they have my Dad's favorite soup. http://t.co/Hr14Te9H #
• I'm at Estancia Churrascaria Brazilian Steakhouse (10000 Research Ste. B, Austin) http://t.co/PbyZgQ7e #
• Why there is no liquor in the Magic Kingdom. http://t.co/eGyOn0OU #
• How can you be almost 30 years old and say that N*SYNC was bigger than The Police or U2? What the Christ? #
• Officemate says there's nothing but chicks on Pinterest. So I encouraged him to guy it up. Because panties and bras ain't my thing either. #
• What's the opposite of "sausage fest"? I propose "taco party" or "taco fest". #
• Yet another going away function. (@ Z Tejas Southwestern Grill w/ 5 others) http://t.co/XPwpD7du #
• WEBSITES DON'T HAVE BACKSLASHES! IT'S JUST SLASH OR FORWARD SLASH! FUCK! #
• They're turning off the HVAC earlier and earlier. Hrm. Curiouser and curiouser… #
• There are people who write CatDog erotic an fiction. CatDog. Erotic. Fanfic. #
• I'm at Freebirds World Burrito (1100 Center Ridge Dr, North IH-35, Austin) w/ 2 others http://t.co/d00ZL8t7 #
• I'm at Original Pancake House (1700 W Parmer Ln, Metric Blvd, Austin) w/ 4 others http://t.co/16G7L8bj #
• I'm at Red Barn Garden Center (12881 Pond Springs Rd, Austin) http://t.co/Ktd08xeG #

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• All RIGHT! Ready for the NFL pregame show in an hour. Wait..OH GOD! SEVEN LONG FOOTBALL-LESS MONTHS AHEAD! *whimper* #
• I'm at Opal Divine's Marina (12709 N. Mopac Expy., Parmer Ln., Austin) http://t.co/59mOcA6f #
• ice with the occasional snowflake in north austin! #atxweather #
• I'm at Costco (10401 Research Blvd., at Braker Ln., Austin) w/ 2 others http://t.co/jez8pKV1 #
• I'm at Costco Gas (10401 N. Research Blvd., Austin) http://t.co/JsqbKg1a #
• Sleet and snow flurries today, almost 80 goddamn degrees by Tuesday. whatever. I will never understand you, #atxweather #
• Curious to see what kind of Whitney tribute will happen after less than 24 hours of planning. #grammys #
• Dear Internet, I just felt you cry out in undeserved protest the minute LL Cool J said prayer. Please. Just shut the fuck up about it. #
• The bane of karaoke bars everywhere and my guilty pleasure. #IWillAlwaysLoveYou #grammys #whitneyhouston #
• Does Bruno Mars always sound like this? I might have to get some of his stuff. God, I feel old. #grammys #
• Goddamn. I'm all tingly from this Alicia Keys-Bonnie Rait duet. #grammys #
• What? No Kanye? At the Grammys? Quelle Suprise! #grammys #
• Damn, son! RT @AustinMovieSnob: When did Reba McEntire start looking like Dana Carvey in drag? #Grammys #
• SHUT UP! I CAN'T HEAR JACK BLACK! #grammys #
• COOL! Dave Grohl is wearing a Slayer tshirt. Nice! #grammys #
• Okay, is the Foo Fighters drummer wearing a Russian NASA shirt? #grammys #
• STEVIE!!!! #grammys #
• HOLY SHIT! El DeBarge is still making music!!!!! #
• Wait, "I Live In Steiner" is a Chris Brown song? Not a @DaleDudley tribute? Much better with @TheDanielGallo doing it. #grammys #
• Go Adele! Go big girls! Skinny bitches ain't shit! 😉 #grammys #
• Did I miss Etta James? Did they not include her in the death reel? WHat the hell? #grammys #
• Jennifer_Hudson.love++ #grammys #
• FUCK YOU, CHRIS BROWN! You don't deserve to look ANYTHING like Run DMC. #grammys #
• Diana Ross is looking pretty good. A little like a Jackson, though. #grammys #
• Yay! Grammys made me happy. I still feel so incredibly old. And I STILL don;t know what an Arcade Fire is or if I should be afraid of it. #
• So…nothing for Lady Gaga tonight? #grammys #
• This is the most kickass ending to the Grammys ever. #grammys #
• Why would you have IT start fuckign with your one and only working machine a week before the release? YOU NEED THAT MACHINE TO TEST ON! #
• Today was going to be a Whitney Houston tribute day, but after the Grammys, I need to listen to some new stuff. #grammyhangover #
• First up: Nicki Minaj. She's funny in The Creep w/Lonely Island. Now I need to see what all the fuss is about. #
• Okay. Nicki Minaj: Pink Friday. It's…okay. It will take some getting used to. #
• Adele – 21: I like it. A lot. She reminds me of Amy Winehouse a bit. You know, without the drug problems. 🙁 #
• I need an extension cord for my headphones so I don't have to get up and walk the extra foot and a half to the fridge in my office. #lLAZY #
• Dammit! Why is Runaway Baby so short! #brunoMars #
• Bruno Mars – Doo Wops & Hooligans: Too goddamn short. I kinda like this newfangled music the kids are listening to. #grammyhangover #
• How do you have a "Greatest Hits" album when I'm pretty sure you only had two hits? #
• I'm at The Peached Tortilla (Moving Target, See Twitter or website for current location, Austin) http://t.co/Xby0GdGz #
• "Cowboys expected to be among bidders to host Super Bowl L" BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Our memories are not that short, Jerry. #
• Is teh Santorum family from 1852? http://t.co/yUKKA4Kz #
• Too much oil in the pan, TOO MUCH OIL IN THE PAN!!! GODDAMMIT! #
• Ow ow ow ow ow ow. #
• Test your knowledge about Twitter and more on @Smarterer. Get badges and share your score with friends #imabzzagent http://t.co/9apvqUUC #
• I'm at Panera Bread (9901 North Capital of Texas Hwy, btw Stonelake and Research, Austin) w/ 2 others http://t.co/peOpUZiC #
• Should premature ejaculation occur, the Joy of Sex album comes equipped with BIG JIM SLADE. #kentuckyfriedmovie #
• I'm at Einstein Bros Bagels (4607 W Braker Ln, Research Blvd, Austin) http://t.co/EZlHBVU7 #
• "Michael Bay is going to direct Transformers 4. He's starting to seem like hurricane season:" (pt 1) #
• "You know it's coming, there are names involved, and the smartest thing to do is evacuate." (pt. 2) #
• "Babysitting While White" http://t.co/lRY4WGI1 #
• I didn't think anyone actually missed Cleveland. http://t.co/nEsSLwra #
• I'm at Archie Imperial D.D.S. (5124 Balcones Woods Dr, Austin) http://t.co/0vVlVtPU #
• I'm at H-E-B (12407 N Mopac Expy, at W Parmer Ln, Austin) w/ 2 others http://t.co/9SieyHAW #
• I'm at Jack in the Box (9825 Burnet Rd, at Rutland Dr., Austin) http://t.co/CZ2EW91G #
• Er, why thank you, Gmail. "You can make a lovely hat out of previously-used aluminum foil." #
• Jesus Christ, what did Austin d to make Leslie move?? http://t.co/IymRWL6d #
• Ah shit. I really hope this isn't related to the last beating he took. Dammit. #
• The sound of the HVAC shutting down for the day is seriously my quittin' time whistle. #
• I'm at Ka-Prow Restaurant (1200 W Howard Ln, I-35, Austin) http://t.co/MUTr87tB #
• I just unlocked the Level 3 "Bento" badge on @foursquare! Sweet! http://t.co/MXh70ldP #
• Wow. Batman Forever really was shit. I thought it was merely crap at the time. But 17 years later…just flat out shit. #
• I'm at Potbelly Sandwich Shop (10515 N Mopac Expy, at Shops at Arbor Walk, Austin) http://t.co/uqReaKe0 #
• I'm at Play It Again Sports (2933 W. Anderson Lane, Austin) http://t.co/8SQf840n #
• I'm at Lane Bryant – Round Rock Outlet (4401 N I-35, Round Rock) http://t.co/LSJwZbYv #
• I'm at Dave & Buster's (9333 Research Blvd Ste A600, N MoPac, Austin) w/ 2 others http://t.co/L8Px1bo7 #
• Fucking kids don't know how to play DDR or Pump It Up anymore. Goddamit! #

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• God help me, I'm at a supermarket on superbowl Sunday. (@ H-E-B w/ 2 others) http://t.co/CIUk6FkX #
• Oh reeealllyyy… Hrm…. RT @AustinMovieSnob: Well, well. Alamo is starting reserved seating at S Lamar. #finally #
• Holy shit. shut up, Michael Irvin. #
• This is just painful to watch #nflgameday #nflnetwork #
• AHAHAHA. Kurt Warner looks so uncomfortable. #nflgameday #nflnetwork #
• Okay, that was cute! #nbc #brotherhood #suberbowl #
• AHAHAHAHA. I misspelled "superbowl". I'm not even drunk…. #
• Can someone get Micheal Irvin some chapstick? How you gonna let a brother be on camera with ashy lips? #nflgameday #nflnetwork #
• I swear I know how to spell Michael…. #
• "I don't want to be the guy who is remembered because he died underestimating the threat posed by a monkey." #
• Goodell is disappointed with the quality of the Pro Bowl. So are the fans, you fucking moron. You're JUST NOW realizing this? #
• RT @Dezdimona16: Who are you people? Stop singing at me! #superbowl #
• Don't fuck this up, Kelly. #superbowl #
• "I don't care if it's Liam Nelson, fuck this movie." #battleship #superbowl #
• I just unlocked the "Super Swarm Sunday" badge on @foursquare! Go team! http://t.co/1FtXOffJ #
• Wanna see Ochocinco get that ring, baby! (@ Super Swarm Sunday w/ 223042 others) http://t.co/URgLIMoq #
• Vader kid was SO MUCH BETTER. #vwfail #superbow46 #
• Shitty, boring game. Shitty boring commercials. #SB46 #sb46fail #
• Chevy Sonic commercial: Jackass with more padding. #
• If this doesn't make this game better…then I have a whole cabinet of his friends that'll do the trick. #sb46 http://t.co/7WdBgY9Q #
• Madonna hasn't even started and I already pine for the Prince halftime show… #sb46 #
• CROTCHCAM! #sb46 #madonna #sucks #
• AM I watching Cirque De Soleil? #madonna #sb46 #
• It's always fun to watch old people do young people's dances… #sb46 #madonna #
• And I thought Cee Lo would save us. Welp…. #SB46 #madonna #sucks #
• Why does Cee Lo look like a black Friar Tuck? #sb46 #madonna #
• From the forums: "Cee Lo looks like he teaches at Disco Hogwarts" #
• Hooooly crap. Motley Crue looks 80. #SB46 #
• Goddammit! Sorry, @ochocinco. I really wanted you to have that ring. 🙁 #
• I'm at Potbelly Sandwich Shop (10515 N Mopac Expy, at Shops at Arbor Walk, Austin) http://t.co/C1lWmUPt #
• is finally playing Plants vs. Zombies http://t.co/slKYRTyB #
• Don't tell me how to navigate to the "run" command. You don't need it in windows 7. Your shitty tool is not installed. #
• No, changing my screensaver is not going to magically make it report to your shitty tool #2 that it is password protected. #
• No, the policy is STILL set on the machine. You still cannot uncheck "ask for password." #
• Goddamn, I hate watching someone incompetent take over my screen. #goddamnhelpdesk #
• WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO CHANGE MY PASSWORD? #goddamnhelpdesk #
• What the fuck. Of COURSE I have a goddamn Windows password! Did you even read the ticket? #
• I swear to Christ, if you try to take away my admin privs on this laptop I WILL END YOU. #goddamnhelpdesk #
• RT @myrialux: http://t.co/VOXjqUfS Challenge accepted? #
• Oh God…registry editor… #goddamnhelpdesk #
• FUCK! I just sabotaged my test 75% into it. Fuck this day. #
• Why is Church's selling tacos??? (@ Church's Chicken) http://t.co/VMDjZT0h #
• YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! After 45 minutes of helpdesk fuckery and a reboot, I'M STILL HAVING THE SAME PROBLEM. #
• Thanks, IT, for pushing a broken policy to my machine. #
• DAMMIT! RT @digitaldiatribe: Google releases Chrome for Android finally, but it's only for ICS. Noooooooooooooooooooo! #
• What the hell, Austin? We can;t keep public pools open as it is, but you think we need to fund this? http://t.co/L74NCYg0 #
• RT @cakewrecks: Q: What do you call a bee that makes milk? A: BOO-BEES!! http://t.co/l5NyYvIj (Don't worry; SFW) #
• Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? I always ask that of all my prey. I just like the sound of it… #
• Hmmm… looks like this is gonna be a Prince kind of day. #BATDANCE #
• Until I find the righteous 1. Computer blue. #purplerainbitches #
• Why are bunny suited people showing up in my Tiny Tower? I don;t want nuthin' to do with no plushies! #tinytower #
• Fucking Helldesk again. Your fix did not work, but you're going to tell me it did. #
• Way to go not listening to a damn thing I say. #helpdeskfail #
• Oh so you need to see this IT given exe file? Oh and now you're deleting? Oh, now you're looking on the running processes for it? #helpdesk #
• Hey, dumbass! It's a run once exe. THERE IS NO RUNNING PROCESS FOR IT. Fucking. Hell. #helpdeskfail #
• Why does she keep dicking around with the registry? She already said the policy was broken. Fix. The. Policy. #helpdeskfail #
• What kind of shit is this? It was proven her "fix" didn;t fix shit, she looked for a hotfix THAT DOESN'T APPLY TO me…then buggered off. #
• What the hell kind of helpdesk is this?? Does this mean I can FINALLY go get some lunch? #helpdeskfail #
• You're making new folders on my machine, WHY? #helpdeskfail #
• Pushing a .reg file….you gotta be kidding me. JUST FIX THE FUCKING POLICY. #helpdeskfail #
• Oooh and a bat file. fucking shoot me. #helpdeskfail #
• AHAHAHAH! Batch file didn;t work! BWAHAHAHAFuck this place. #
• I'm at Sonic Drive-In (10025 N Burnet Rd, at Rutland Dr, Austin) http://t.co/XGYNIAj1 #
• I'm @sonicdrive_in (10025 North Burnet Road, Austin) http://t.co/9xbVwpkY (+5pts) #
• Seems that I was busy doing something close 2 nothing, But different than the day before… #
• is finally playing Plants vs. Zombies http://t.co/slKYRTyB #
• I'm at Tacodeli (12001 Burnet Rd, N Mo-Pac Expy, Austin) http://t.co/ybmB6Se2 #
• Ugggghhhhh http://t.co/oJbV6waK #
• *sigh* Thanks, officemate, for walking in right after I farted. Good thing you're headed out now. #
• RT @austinmills: Did you come to get down? Are you internationally known? RT @ZacharyLevi: http://t.co/No14nSjH #oldskool #
• I'm at Delish Bakery (209 W 3rd St, at Colorado St, Austin) http://t.co/HmVTKIAz #
• Lunch! (@ Spec's) http://t.co/PYwKfbtE #
• Know how to make a hormone? Don't pay her. Wakka Wakka Wakka. #
• It's a "I want a damn cupcake" kind of day. Spent my lunch hour going to @delish to get my fix. #FrostingFriday #
• Huh. HVAC shut off. That must be the "go home" signal. #
• I'm at Waterloo Ice House (14900 Avery Ranch Blvd., at Parmer Ln., Austin) http://t.co/QoshX7bs #
• I'm at 620 Café And Bakery (910 Ranch to Market 620, Chisholm Trail, Round Rock) http://t.co/QnqAaXCJ #
• I'm so happy cuz I'm a gummy bear! Gummy bear! http://t.co/NOCblc4M #

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• I'm at Texican Cafe (11066 Pecan Park Blvd, Cedar Park) http://t.co/YGVLsreu #
• I'm at IKEA (1 Ikea Way, I-35, Round Rock) w/ 4 others http://t.co/tDxFjO14 #
• I'm at Ikea (1 Ikea Way, Round Rock) http://t.co/tsEtUodW (+5pts) #
• I'm at Super Target (13900 N I H 35 # A1, at W Parmer Ln., Austin) http://t.co/SmkK3LYa #
• I'm at Walgreens (12550 Metric Blvd, W Parmer Ln, Austin) http://t.co/qUCmT0QQ #
• I'm @walgreens (12550 Metric Blvd., Austin) http://t.co/XGaZLVVZ (+5pts) #
• I'm at US Post Office (1822 W Braker LN, at Metric Blvd, Austin) http://t.co/fhHZ752N #
• I'm at Speedy Stop (2616 W Braker Ln., US 183, Austin) http://t.co/cyUaR235 #
• I got 34 messages at work and at least half that many at home to read a notice about my 401k. There was ONE notice. ONE. The fuck? #
• Yup, my day is going to be shit. I started it doing a good deed for someone just because I knew today was going to suck. #
• I'm at Firehouse Subs – Austin Commons (11101 Burnet, Suite 120, Austin) w/ 3 others http://t.co/BLlnPILM #
• I'm at Lick It Bite It Or Both (11101 Burnet Suite 140-A, Austin) http://t.co/N6VpyHZy #
• I'm at Target (10107 Research Blvd., at Great Hills Trail, Austin) http://t.co/ltA5zCUO #
• I'm at The Peached Tortilla (Moving Target, See Twitter or website for current location, Austin) http://t.co/IdKSc1Di #
• Kristen Bell is fucking weird. http://t.co/h5Qd0tFN #
• Ahahahahaha, and Ellen is kind of a dick. #
• Aelerelean's birthday! (@ Kublai Khan) http://t.co/V8qOrXEv #
• Christ, yes RT @ElysiumAustin: RT @atxfollowers: #TRUTH http://t.co/aRdKVF5W #
• I am done. I give absolutely zero fucks about your shitty ass tool. #
• Dammit! RT @austin360: Los Angeles Police say Don Cornelius of 'Soul Train' has died of gunshot wound. http://t.co/uNKr5Isu #
• I'm at Whole Foods Market (9607 Research Blvd, at N Capital of Texas Hwy, Austin) w/ 4 others http://t.co/UObnqs1k #
• I'm at Velocity Credit Union (1201 W. Braker Ln., Austin) http://t.co/tPhyvQ8K #
• I'm at Jack in the Box (9825 Burnet Rd, at Rutland Dr., Austin) http://t.co/0ZwuMsAf #
• Quoted. For. Truth. RT @DRUNKHULK: GROUNDHOG PREDICT 6 MORE WEEK OF WINTER! POOR GUY! NO ONE HAVE HEART TELL HIM WINTER NEVER CAME! #
• This right here is my working life. If there's a dev and a QA, this shit WILL happen. http://t.co/KwEkjGu4 #
• I must be feeling particularly "re-tweety" today. Sorry. #
• I'm at Taj Mahal Indian Cuisine (12407 North Mopac Expressway, Austin) http://t.co/lxXRymvM #
• What the fuck is wrong with this country? http://t.co/E9StunCk #
• What the hell is a "leisure bra"? We…we don't wear these things for fun, morons! #
• Happy hour for no reason! Woot! (@ Gloria's Mexican Restaurant) http://t.co/MYtcXeOD #
• Burger tour! (@ Riata Bar & Grill) http://t.co/0eFiBxVE #
• My @smarterer score is 800 in #t mobile. How smart are you? Answer questions. Get your score. http://t.co/qMPDP21F #

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• I'm at Central Market (4001 N. Lamar Blvd., 38th St., Austin) w/ 4 others http://t.co/bpsSO3t0 #
• I'm at Super Target (13900 N I H 35 # A1, at W Parmer Ln., Austin) http://t.co/Kxg6HTaP #
• Why would you give robots live steel and live ammo on a vacation planet?? #westworld #futureworld #
• Hoooooly shit! Beautiful play! #giants #nfcchampionship #
• Oh for fucks sake! Delay of game????? #giants #
• Aaaannnnd it's the Patriots v Giants in the Superbowl. I am completely ambivalent about it. #nfl #nodoginthishunt #
• I'm at Taco Cabana (12525 N Mopac Expy, W Parmer Ln, Austin) http://t.co/uBY91sYH #
• No nausea, no barfing. Roast chicken was a success. I am not 2-1 in roasting whole chickens. Properly. #
• now. I am NOW 2-1. #
• My geek flag flies high. Someone said it's nat'l pie day and I immediately thought, "It's not March yet! what are they talking about?" #pi #
• I'm at Barton Creek Square Mall (2901 S Capital of Texas Hwy, Austin) w/ 4 others http://t.co/W3aoEpPw #
• I'm at The LEGO Store (2901 S Capital of Texas Hwy, Barton Creek Square Mall, Austin) http://t.co/Xekaj6jK #
• I'm at Jack in the Box (9825 Burnet Rd, at Rutland Dr., Austin) http://t.co/ZnUWy1pL #
• Comcast hates football fans. http://t.co/XJll31Ey #comcastfail #
• What to do about feral burro carcasses. Bury them? They'd have to dig a pretty big ass hole…. #
• Feral Burros in South Texas: http://t.co/nULkY8yx #
• No, Rational Application Developer, I do NOT want your stupid built in browser to open up when I click a link. #
• I'm at Fry's Electronics (12707 N. Mopac Expy., Parmer Ln., Austin) w/ 3 others http://t.co/zbAu980E #
• What the hell, Mother Nature?!? A TORNADO WATCH?? IN JANUARY?? Well, fuck you very much! #atxweather #
• I'm at Whole Foods Market (9607 Research Blvd, at N Capital of Texas Hwy, Austin) http://t.co/uRLnc9AI #
• I'm at Panera Bread (9901 North Capital of Texas Hwy, btw Stonelake and Research, Austin) http://t.co/aqt0Rc8t #
• I'm at Toys R Us http://t.co/tJWoV1Mx #
• Jesus Christ. Do not ask me where my coworker is. We are grown ass people who can come and go as we please without checking in/out. #
• Asking if I happen to know where he is, is acceptable. Getting annoyed that I don't know is not. Fuck off. #
• "School meals will have to offer fruits and vegetables to students every day." Why is this new? What were they feeding kids before??? #
• How do you resell a digital music file? http://t.co/WyIFs910 #
• Just joined the @Smarterer BzzCampaign! Sign up now and start testing your Facebook and Twitter skills #imabzzagent http://t.co/9apvqUUC #
• JoBeth Williams: Making granny panties look hot since 1982. #poltergeist #
• I'm at McDonald's (12443 Metric Blvd, W Parmer Ln, Austin) http://t.co/m5RD0bDv #
• I'm at Potbelly Sandwich Shop (10515 N Mopac Expy, at Shops at Arbor Walk, Austin) http://t.co/X0ZgwOES #
• Dear websites, I DON'T WANT TO CHAT. STOP WITH THE GODDAMN CHAT WINDOWS! #
• I'm at Posados Mexican Cafe (15119 I H 35, Pflugerville) http://t.co/Tf3KMlW0 #
• I'm at Tacodeli (12001 Burnet Rd, N Mo-Pac Expy, Austin) http://t.co/sSXtNxxF #
• Quoted (retweeted) For Truth. RT @AustinMovieSnob: I really wish American Idol wasn't a thing anymore. #
• Spec's Deli for lunch. (@ Spec's) http://t.co/1taPreQu #
• How can you write documentation for a product you know NOTHING about? I mean, nothing. Zero. Zilch. #
• You've been on the scrum calls for weeks and you're JUST NOW asking what the REST interface is? The thing that makes this product work? #
• Fuck me, Agnes! #
• I'm at Freebirds World Burrito (1100 Center Ridge Dr, North IH-35, Austin) http://t.co/FoAOoWLh #
• I'm at Original Pancake House (1700 W Parmer Ln, Metric Blvd, Austin) http://t.co/AtoYWF6s #

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• Place full of Texans fans today. I am one of two people rooting for the Ravens. (@ Brick House Tavern + Tap) http://t.co/U4Z5cBzf #
• I'm at Barton Creek Square Mall (2901 S Capital of Texas Hwy, Austin) w/ 11 others http://t.co/rdQu7I5M #
• I'm at Lens Crafters (2901 S Capital of Texas Highway, Austin) http://t.co/NMavi6K5 #
• I'm at The LEGO Store (2901 S Capital of Texas Hwy, Barton Creek Square Mall, Austin) w/ 2 others http://t.co/P8P353ZJ #
• I'm at Target (2300 W Ben White Blvd., S Lamar Blvd., Austin) w/ 2 others http://t.co/TBgm9HHK #
• I'm at H-E-B (500 Canyon Ridge Dr W, at Interstate Hwy 35, Austin) w/ 4 others http://t.co/qyzW9pnd #
• Who in the FUCK greenlit a 21 Jump Street movie????? #
• Will someone please feed Angelina Jolie! She looks like a prison camp survivor! #goldenglobes #
• I'm at Schlotzsky's Deli (500 Canyon Ridge Dr, Tech Ridge, Austin) http://t.co/lNtFn4ev #
• I'm at Tomodachi Sushi (4101 W Parmer Ln Ste E, at Silver Creek Dr, Austin) http://t.co/0tosSw2p #
• I'm at Tacodeli (12001 Burnet Rd, N Mo-Pac Expy, Austin) http://t.co/SOzJNuEm #
• Dear developers, learn how to file a defect. I can't test it if I don't know what the hell you're talking about. #
• It doesn't have to fancy. Just…if you're talking about logging, specify which logging you're talking about. #
• I'm at Sonic Drive-In (12453 Lamplight Village Ave, at Parmer Ln, Austin) http://t.co/0CHrF0un #
• always fast service. http://t.co/oYCZjZuc (+5pts) #
• Vodka time, thinks I. Open cabinet, finds bottle…bottle is empty. Sad QA time. #
• Well, hello there cold front! #
• I'm at Ben White Automotive – North (12538 Research Blvd, 183 and Oak Knoll, Austin) http://t.co/3xCOYvhH #
• I'm at Ivy's Deli Frozen Yogurt (8650 Spicewood Springs Rd., Austin) http://t.co/yV3xzdgw #
• I'm at Spec's (10515 N Mopac Expy, Austin) http://t.co/wFwk21PQ #
• I just got smacked by The Sleepy. #
• Lazy, no reading, dumbass motherfuckers: http://t.co/2vscAYYB #
• I'm at Taco Cabana (12525 N Mopac Expy, W Parmer Ln, Austin) http://t.co/H4Zu95FT #
• ffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkk This project. #
• You knew about this fucking review at minimum 2 weeks ago. Why are you JUST NOW (21 hours until the review) trying to see who's doing what? #
• Fuck this project and it's shitty ass fake leadership so hard. #
• I'm at Costco (10401 Research Blvd., at Braker Ln., Austin) http://t.co/ZbBuTNFc #
• Not for the weak of stomach: http://t.co/qQhFw1Uf #
• I'm at Burger Tex (5420 Airport Blvd, Austin) http://t.co/byzKYhwC #
• Oh god. It's girl scout cookie time…. #
• Mmmm, the first shortbread cookie of the season. I remember when they had granules of sugar on top. #
• "Ass Rimming the easy way". I like it when my Spam gets right to the point. #
• I'm at Hobby Lobby (12901 N I H 35 # 900, Parmer Ln, Austin) http://t.co/MdDdA9Ms #
• I'm at Dragon's Lair Comics (6111 Burnet Road, Austin) http://t.co/wErO4cLN #
• I'm at Extra Space Storage (6412 Burnet Rd, Austin) http://t.co/v1oGoqQ8 #
• I'm at Kublai Khan (Austin) http://t.co/c0qMCKR6 #
• I'm at Carino's Italian Grill (12901 N I H 35, at Parmer Ln, Austin) http://t.co/D0L21EvR #

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• I'm at Einstein Bros Bagels (12400 N IH-35, Indian Mound Dr, Austin) w/ 3 others http://t.co/0eJZm8Me #
• I think I like B.J. Raji's "discount double check" dance better. Drop it, Raj! #
• An appropriate use of the new LEGO Friends sets: http://t.co/YmM2deyf #
• Trombone Shorty is, in fact, not playing a trombone. #nflwildcard #nygiants #
• I found out that one of my favorite brand of tamales don't have lard in them. That makes me sad. I like lard. #
• The wonders of NFL in HD: With a simple glance at the screen I can tell which players are wearing a cup and which ones aren't. #
• Gonna watch the Steelers game delayed. No more twitter for me today. #Steelers #SteelerNation #
• Not only was no one notified of my vacation, my out of office reply thing didn't work either. This place is horrible. #
• I'm at H-E-B (12407 N Mopac Expy, at W Parmer Ln, Austin) w/ 4 others http://t.co/SVFIGQLW #
• Chicken flatbread sandwich is made of crack. (@ Taco Bell) http://t.co/5bXvI7EM #
• I'm at Walgreens (12550 Metric Blvd, W Parmer Ln, Austin) http://t.co/DTzu0N2j #
• I'm at Tacodeli (12001 Burnet Rd, N Mo-Pac Expy, Austin) http://t.co/jd8SRjbm #
• I'm at Gloria's Mexican Restaurant (3309 Esperanza Crossing, Domain Dr, Austin) w/ 2 others http://t.co/fryd8nI9 #
• Christ don't have a Gloria's margarita at lunch if you want to have a productive day. Good thing my productivity tanked before lunch. #
• LSU fans were stuck in New Orleans after the game. Someone drew a 50 yd line in the road and they couldn't get past it. (sorry @pakazmir) #
• is finally playing Plants vs. Zombies http://t.co/slKYRTyB #
• I'm at Jack in the Box (9825 Burnet Rd, at Rutland Dr., Austin) http://t.co/rtLjtX43 #
• Three machines on my desk, each showing a different time. So I'll either be early or late for my meeting. Every frigging time. #
• Hrm. Humping Robot is no longer humping the tv. http://t.co/vIIWIByC #robotchickenlove #
• David Bowie/Queen singalong! (@ Alamo Drafthouse Cinema w/ 4 others) [pic]: http://t.co/UnI8cGlU #
• best moviehouse ever. http://t.co/fzZcelIp (+10pts) #
• I just unlocked the “Flame Broiled” badge on @foursquare! Cheeseburgers all around! http://t.co/r3b1JWl3 #
• I'm at Whataburger (14310 N I H 35, Wells Branch Pkwy, Austin) http://t.co/1IA4RNQm #
• I'm at Gloria's Mexican Restaurant (3309 Esperanza Crossing, Domain Dr, Austin) http://t.co/b98o2Ssi #
• I'm at Prima Pasta Pizza http://t.co/Ha3jKq9A #
• I'm at Kublai Khan (Austin) http://t.co/aMnz7gUm #

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• I'm at Genie Car Wash – Burnet (7320 Burnet Rd, Austin) http://t.co/QXiZHB9z #
• I'm at Taco Cabana (12525 N Mopac Expy, W Parmer Ln, Austin) http://t.co/1f6nSU7Z #
• I'm at McDonald's (12443 Metric Blvd, W Parmer Ln, Austin) http://t.co/wUUAXMlC #
• Why is Snoop Dogg on the Price Is Right???? #
• Ok, it's some sort of charity celebrity week. Jenny McCarthy tomorrow and @ActuallyNPH is Wednesday. Sweet. #
• 3 weeks off of work without going anywhere is far too long to be off of work. #
• All right. Tome to tear down Christmas. Back in 15 minutes… #
• "The Kardashians are more depressing to me than Hitler." Goddamn, @wilw. Well said, but god-damn! #thenerdist #
• I'm at LongHorn Steakhouse (Round Rock) w/ 5 others http://t.co/mIJ5rgKI #
• SHIP MY GODDAMN SINK! #
• Note: If someone is asking you to clarify a date that you swear you put in your email, reread your email. I'm not asking to be a dick. #
• If you are looking for that sex tape you made with your now ex-wife, check the case. You might actually have Benjamin Button. #TheLeague #
• And every Cowboys fan cried out in anger. "Jones reiterates he has no plans to step down as Cowboys GM" #
• I'm at Potbelly Sandwich Shop (10515 N Mopac Expy, at Shops at Arbor Walk, Austin) http://t.co/74iFUkrd #
• I'm at Kwik Kar (tomanet and Parmer, Austin) http://t.co/VybfkitU #
• I'm at Original Pancake House (1700 W Parmer Ln, Metric Blvd, Austin) http://t.co/59PwA4yq #
• I'm at Extra Space Storage (6412 Burnet Rd, Austin) http://t.co/USghpjry #
• I'm at Dragon's Lair Comics (6111 Burnet Road, Austin) http://t.co/gvJl7XyT #
• Why is there a user's guide for a simple 2 button click wheel mouse? #
• DAMN, son! RT @austinmills: RT @TeamHoneyBadger: I'm not really up on my Lovecraft enough to make analogies to our codebase. #
• Hey there, Tweeples! Anyone know where the hell all my Philips head screwdrivers ran off to?? #
• Dear websites, when I order $250 worth of shit from you, I expect a goddamn tracking number. #
• Done with pork for a while. RT @cakewrecks: I'm told today's demon piggy is NSFL -"Not Safe For Lunch." Ha! http://t.co/8a1XhuNB #sooieeet #
• "Rob Gronkowski? How did you know to play him?" If you have The Gronk you play The Gronk. #TheLeague #
• I'm at Red Lobster (2702 Parker Rd, at Louis Henna / SH45, Round Rock) http://t.co/DJWCxe2O #
• Why in the Sam Hell is it in the mid 70's outside??? I WANT MY WINTER! #
• I hate cedar. I hate cedar so much. It's time to sing the fuck cedar song! It mostly consists of sneezes, coughs and throat clearing…. #
• "I'm gonna whoop you if you don't pick a fighting game." What the fuck. #
• Countertop install part deaux. #
• Oh God i think everything fits the way it should! #
• I'm at Barton Creek Farmer's Market (2901 Capital of Texas Hwy South, Walsh tarelton, Austin) w/ 6 others http://t.co/UQJnjyqi #
• Superhero lego!! (@ The LEGO Store) http://t.co/KJu8dBDs #
• I'm at Conans Pizza (2438 W Anderson Ln, at Burnet Rd, Austin) http://t.co/oHmXbDYW #
• HOLY SHIT LIONS TOUCHDOWN! Opening drive, bitches! Picked Saints to win, but so proud of the Lions. So conflicted. #nflwildcard #
• Oh goody. Brett Favre is at the Saints game. #
• Jesus Christ, SPROLES! #
• RT @Dezdimona16: @topenga http://t.co/D6eSg5I0 #
• The Detroit Lions have won ONE playoff game in 53 years. #nflwildcard #lions #

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• I bought my mom a Forever Lazy for Christmas. She's wearing it unironically. Go mom! #
• Randy lay there like a slug. It was his only defense. #
• I'm at Alamo Drafthouse Cinema — Village for Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows http://t.co/x4tE7ZZ3 #
• http://t.co/VPbe62b3 #
• Every one of these people deserve a smack in the mouth. http://t.co/CQILJu1z #ungratefulassholes #
• I'm at Romano's Macaroni Grill (2501 S IH 35, Hesters Crossing, Round Rock) http://t.co/DlFS5GQw #
• I'm at DOLLAR TREE (3021 S IH 35, Louis Henna Blvd E, Round Rock) http://t.co/A9m0HX75 #
• I'm at Joe's Crab Shack (2401 S Interstate 35, at Dell Way, Round Rock) http://t.co/qnM7T26g #
• I'm at Round Rock Premium Outlets (4401 N IH-35, University, Round Rock) w/ 5 others http://t.co/3dwlhlUV #
• Go Riley! Not all girls want stupid pink dolls! http://t.co/KR2LZ9se #
• is finally playing Cities in Motion http://t.co/slKYRTyB #
• I unlocked the Winter Wonder achievement on Cities in Motion! http://t.co/slKYRTyB #
• I'm at Underbudget Kitchens http://t.co/IQk9UiWI #
• I'm at Target (10107 Research Blvd., at Great Hills Trail, Austin) http://t.co/ilO2kFFK #
• Why does it bother me so much when people don't know what side their gas tank is on? (@ Costco Gas) http://t.co/Gp2DnPtf #
• I'm at Cost Plus World Market (200 Sundance Pkwy, La Frontera Blvd, Round Rock) http://t.co/R9b28apC #
• I'm at Jack in the Box (14910 Fm 1825, at Wells Branch Pkwy., Pflugerville) http://t.co/Q9ky6KlX #
• I'm at Delish Bakery (209 W 3rd St, at Colorado St, Austin) http://t.co/RMkJAzHs #
• I'm at UPS Customer Center (Austin) http://t.co/Ghyvzkj3 #
• I'm at H-E-B (12407 N Mopac Expy, at W Parmer Ln, Austin) http://t.co/4fiwMUEk #
• Countertops remeasured. Sonk: MIA. fucknuggets. #
• SINK. The SINK is MIA. #
• Hey, drought killed a lot trees. Lots of Cedar trees. Pollen shouldn't be so–OH COME ON! "Cedar pollen explodes into high category." #
• I am so sorry, Detroit, but I cannot in good faith pick you over Green Bay… #
• I'm at Opal Divine's Marina (12709 N. Mopac Expy., Parmer Ln., Austin) http://t.co/9j1X34Ig #
• I'm at Costco (10401 Research Blvd., at Braker Ln., Austin) http://t.co/zVd0S26F #
• I'm at Spec's (10515 N Mopac Expy, Austin) http://t.co/GWED6jXp #
• I'm at GameStop (N 13000 I H 35, W Palmer Ln, Austin) http://t.co/c8bEgC5O #
• I'm at Einstein Bros Bagels (12400 N IH-35, Indian Mound Dr, Austin) http://t.co/IRGufvyY #
• I just unlocked the "Ten Hundred" badge on @foursquare! https://t.co/Iubgcxdq #
• Happy new year!!!!! #

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