Incoherent Mutterings

• I'm at Einstein Bros Bagels (12400 N IH-35, Indian Mound Dr, Austin) w/ 3 others http://t.co/0eJZm8Me #
• I think I like B.J. Raji's "discount double check" dance better. Drop it, Raj! #
• An appropriate use of the new LEGO Friends sets: http://t.co/YmM2deyf #
• Trombone Shorty is, in fact, not playing a trombone. #nflwildcard #nygiants #
• I found out that one of my favorite brand of tamales don't have lard in them. That makes me sad. I like lard. #
• The wonders of NFL in HD: With a simple glance at the screen I can tell which players are wearing a cup and which ones aren't. #
• Gonna watch the Steelers game delayed. No more twitter for me today. #Steelers #SteelerNation #
• Not only was no one notified of my vacation, my out of office reply thing didn't work either. This place is horrible. #
• I'm at H-E-B (12407 N Mopac Expy, at W Parmer Ln, Austin) w/ 4 others http://t.co/SVFIGQLW #
• Chicken flatbread sandwich is made of crack. (@ Taco Bell) http://t.co/5bXvI7EM #
• I'm at Walgreens (12550 Metric Blvd, W Parmer Ln, Austin) http://t.co/DTzu0N2j #
• I'm at Tacodeli (12001 Burnet Rd, N Mo-Pac Expy, Austin) http://t.co/jd8SRjbm #
• I'm at Gloria's Mexican Restaurant (3309 Esperanza Crossing, Domain Dr, Austin) w/ 2 others http://t.co/fryd8nI9 #
• Christ don't have a Gloria's margarita at lunch if you want to have a productive day. Good thing my productivity tanked before lunch. #
• LSU fans were stuck in New Orleans after the game. Someone drew a 50 yd line in the road and they couldn't get past it. (sorry @pakazmir) #
• is finally playing Plants vs. Zombies http://t.co/slKYRTyB #
• I'm at Jack in the Box (9825 Burnet Rd, at Rutland Dr., Austin) http://t.co/rtLjtX43 #
• Three machines on my desk, each showing a different time. So I'll either be early or late for my meeting. Every frigging time. #
• Hrm. Humping Robot is no longer humping the tv. http://t.co/vIIWIByC #robotchickenlove #
• David Bowie/Queen singalong! (@ Alamo Drafthouse Cinema w/ 4 others) [pic]: http://t.co/UnI8cGlU #
• best moviehouse ever. http://t.co/fzZcelIp (+10pts) #
• I just unlocked the “Flame Broiled” badge on @foursquare! Cheeseburgers all around! http://t.co/r3b1JWl3 #
• I'm at Whataburger (14310 N I H 35, Wells Branch Pkwy, Austin) http://t.co/1IA4RNQm #
• I'm at Gloria's Mexican Restaurant (3309 Esperanza Crossing, Domain Dr, Austin) http://t.co/b98o2Ssi #
• I'm at Prima Pasta Pizza http://t.co/Ha3jKq9A #
• I'm at Kublai Khan (Austin) http://t.co/aMnz7gUm #

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• I'm at Genie Car Wash – Burnet (7320 Burnet Rd, Austin) http://t.co/QXiZHB9z #
• I'm at Taco Cabana (12525 N Mopac Expy, W Parmer Ln, Austin) http://t.co/1f6nSU7Z #
• I'm at McDonald's (12443 Metric Blvd, W Parmer Ln, Austin) http://t.co/wUUAXMlC #
• Why is Snoop Dogg on the Price Is Right???? #
• Ok, it's some sort of charity celebrity week. Jenny McCarthy tomorrow and @ActuallyNPH is Wednesday. Sweet. #
• 3 weeks off of work without going anywhere is far too long to be off of work. #
• All right. Tome to tear down Christmas. Back in 15 minutes… #
• "The Kardashians are more depressing to me than Hitler." Goddamn, @wilw. Well said, but god-damn! #thenerdist #
• I'm at LongHorn Steakhouse (Round Rock) w/ 5 others http://t.co/mIJ5rgKI #
• SHIP MY GODDAMN SINK! #
• Note: If someone is asking you to clarify a date that you swear you put in your email, reread your email. I'm not asking to be a dick. #
• If you are looking for that sex tape you made with your now ex-wife, check the case. You might actually have Benjamin Button. #TheLeague #
• And every Cowboys fan cried out in anger. "Jones reiterates he has no plans to step down as Cowboys GM" #
• I'm at Potbelly Sandwich Shop (10515 N Mopac Expy, at Shops at Arbor Walk, Austin) http://t.co/74iFUkrd #
• I'm at Kwik Kar (tomanet and Parmer, Austin) http://t.co/VybfkitU #
• I'm at Original Pancake House (1700 W Parmer Ln, Metric Blvd, Austin) http://t.co/59PwA4yq #
• I'm at Extra Space Storage (6412 Burnet Rd, Austin) http://t.co/USghpjry #
• I'm at Dragon's Lair Comics (6111 Burnet Road, Austin) http://t.co/gvJl7XyT #
• Why is there a user's guide for a simple 2 button click wheel mouse? #
• DAMN, son! RT @austinmills: RT @TeamHoneyBadger: I'm not really up on my Lovecraft enough to make analogies to our codebase. #
• Hey there, Tweeples! Anyone know where the hell all my Philips head screwdrivers ran off to?? #
• Dear websites, when I order $250 worth of shit from you, I expect a goddamn tracking number. #
• Done with pork for a while. RT @cakewrecks: I'm told today's demon piggy is NSFL -"Not Safe For Lunch." Ha! http://t.co/8a1XhuNB #sooieeet #
• "Rob Gronkowski? How did you know to play him?" If you have The Gronk you play The Gronk. #TheLeague #
• I'm at Red Lobster (2702 Parker Rd, at Louis Henna / SH45, Round Rock) http://t.co/DJWCxe2O #
• Why in the Sam Hell is it in the mid 70's outside??? I WANT MY WINTER! #
• I hate cedar. I hate cedar so much. It's time to sing the fuck cedar song! It mostly consists of sneezes, coughs and throat clearing…. #
• "I'm gonna whoop you if you don't pick a fighting game." What the fuck. #
• Countertop install part deaux. #
• Oh God i think everything fits the way it should! #
• I'm at Barton Creek Farmer's Market (2901 Capital of Texas Hwy South, Walsh tarelton, Austin) w/ 6 others http://t.co/UQJnjyqi #
• Superhero lego!! (@ The LEGO Store) http://t.co/KJu8dBDs #
• I'm at Conans Pizza (2438 W Anderson Ln, at Burnet Rd, Austin) http://t.co/oHmXbDYW #
• HOLY SHIT LIONS TOUCHDOWN! Opening drive, bitches! Picked Saints to win, but so proud of the Lions. So conflicted. #nflwildcard #
• Oh goody. Brett Favre is at the Saints game. #
• Jesus Christ, SPROLES! #
• RT @Dezdimona16: @topenga http://t.co/D6eSg5I0 #
• The Detroit Lions have won ONE playoff game in 53 years. #nflwildcard #lions #

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• I bought my mom a Forever Lazy for Christmas. She's wearing it unironically. Go mom! #
• Randy lay there like a slug. It was his only defense. #
• I'm at Alamo Drafthouse Cinema — Village for Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows http://t.co/x4tE7ZZ3 #
• http://t.co/VPbe62b3 #
• Every one of these people deserve a smack in the mouth. http://t.co/CQILJu1z #ungratefulassholes #
• I'm at Romano's Macaroni Grill (2501 S IH 35, Hesters Crossing, Round Rock) http://t.co/DlFS5GQw #
• I'm at DOLLAR TREE (3021 S IH 35, Louis Henna Blvd E, Round Rock) http://t.co/A9m0HX75 #
• I'm at Joe's Crab Shack (2401 S Interstate 35, at Dell Way, Round Rock) http://t.co/qnM7T26g #
• I'm at Round Rock Premium Outlets (4401 N IH-35, University, Round Rock) w/ 5 others http://t.co/3dwlhlUV #
• Go Riley! Not all girls want stupid pink dolls! http://t.co/KR2LZ9se #
• is finally playing Cities in Motion http://t.co/slKYRTyB #
• I unlocked the Winter Wonder achievement on Cities in Motion! http://t.co/slKYRTyB #
• I'm at Underbudget Kitchens http://t.co/IQk9UiWI #
• I'm at Target (10107 Research Blvd., at Great Hills Trail, Austin) http://t.co/ilO2kFFK #
• Why does it bother me so much when people don't know what side their gas tank is on? (@ Costco Gas) http://t.co/Gp2DnPtf #
• I'm at Cost Plus World Market (200 Sundance Pkwy, La Frontera Blvd, Round Rock) http://t.co/R9b28apC #
• I'm at Jack in the Box (14910 Fm 1825, at Wells Branch Pkwy., Pflugerville) http://t.co/Q9ky6KlX #
• I'm at Delish Bakery (209 W 3rd St, at Colorado St, Austin) http://t.co/RMkJAzHs #
• I'm at UPS Customer Center (Austin) http://t.co/Ghyvzkj3 #
• I'm at H-E-B (12407 N Mopac Expy, at W Parmer Ln, Austin) http://t.co/4fiwMUEk #
• Countertops remeasured. Sonk: MIA. fucknuggets. #
• SINK. The SINK is MIA. #
• Hey, drought killed a lot trees. Lots of Cedar trees. Pollen shouldn't be so–OH COME ON! "Cedar pollen explodes into high category." #
• I am so sorry, Detroit, but I cannot in good faith pick you over Green Bay… #
• I'm at Opal Divine's Marina (12709 N. Mopac Expy., Parmer Ln., Austin) http://t.co/9j1X34Ig #
• I'm at Costco (10401 Research Blvd., at Braker Ln., Austin) http://t.co/zVd0S26F #
• I'm at Spec's (10515 N Mopac Expy, Austin) http://t.co/GWED6jXp #
• I'm at GameStop (N 13000 I H 35, W Palmer Ln, Austin) http://t.co/c8bEgC5O #
• I'm at Einstein Bros Bagels (12400 N IH-35, Indian Mound Dr, Austin) http://t.co/IRGufvyY #
• I just unlocked the "Ten Hundred" badge on @foursquare! https://t.co/Iubgcxdq #
• Happy new year!!!!! #

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• So weird to think that Kim Jong Il is actually dead. #
• is finally playing Civilization V http://t.co/slKYRTyB #
• HOARDERS MARATHON!!!!! Vacation ROCKS! #
• I'm at Container Store (9629 Research Blvd, Great Hills Trail, Austin) http://t.co/LCosHyUm #
• I'm at Costco Gas (10401 N. Research Blvd., Austin) http://t.co/CPYotoYU #
• What is it about Christmas that turns drivers into utter cockbags? #
• If you have to hang your groceries from the chandelier so the rats don't eat your food, dear God how can you not see that you have a problem #
• Why is my package going from Memphis, to Dallas, to San Antonio, then finally to Austin? Did it have family to visit in San Antonio? #
• Oh Happy Day! AT&T Officially Ends Plans To Acquire T-Mobile USA #
• For the love of all that is holy, Steam, what do you keep needing to download for Left 4 Dead 2????? #
• If someone gives you a check (that's not part of an Internet scam) and you're broke YOU FUCKING CASH THAT SHIT! #hoarders #
• I'm at Opal Divine's Marina (12709 N. Mopac Expy., Parmer Ln., Austin) http://t.co/HVsOJxvz #
• I'm at Fry's Electronics (12707 N. Mopac Expy., Parmer Ln., Austin) w/ 4 others http://t.co/WI09BnQO #
• Oh my God, real honest to goodness UK chocolate smells soooo much better than our poor excuse for chocolate. #
• I'm at Tomodachi Sushi (4101 W Parmer Ln Ste E, at Silver Creek Dr, Austin) http://t.co/9xYKJ1KU #
• My parts for my (Intel…sigh) machine have arrived! Goddamn, Newegg, do you use teleporters? #
• I'm at iPic Theaters (3225 Amy Donovan Plaza, Austin) w/ 2 others http://t.co/7RoyYF0t #
• I'm at Toy Joy (2900 Guadalupe St, W 29th St, Austin) http://t.co/mFSW05q0 #
• I have a grumpy. New mobo/chip won't let me restore win 7. Must reinstall all the things. Not very happy. *pout* #
• FUCK!!!! I most certainly did NOT want windows 7 home basic! FUCK! #hourwasted #
• I'm at Brick House Tavern + Tap (11680 Research Blvd., Suite A, Austin) w/ 4 others http://t.co/gpiIyXup #
• Hey LEGO, remember this ad? http://t.co/LJo4uDGI Look! A girl! With non pink LEGOs and no girly minifigs. #GirlsLikeLEGO #
• One day, when I have more money I think I will rent a Krampus for my Christmas party. http://t.co/a2K4lFe4 #
• I found my new favorite Christmas movie. http://t.co/wJxlk6nC Netflix. Instant streaming. Lovely. #
• I'm at Sonic Drive-In (12453 Lamplight Village Ave, at Parmer Ln, Austin) http://t.co/emcDw6tM #
• I'm at Alamo Drafthouse Cinema – Lake Creek for Master Pancake Christmas Show http://t.co/DZyy0LTN #
• Good lord this is the slowest version of It's Cold Outside ever! #
• HOLY SHIT MY COUNTERTOPS ARE HERE. #
• Annnnd, they cut my countertops wrong. #
• So, now I have no countertops. They lied about delivery then fucked up the job. #
• Wow. So because the countertop guys fucked up, I have no kitchen until sometime in January. Fuck everybody. #
• I'm at Fuddruckers (1991 N I H 35, i-35 & 3406, Round Rock) http://t.co/ziDonlaq #
• Looking for tamales. (@ Barton Creek Farmer's Market) http://t.co/gjMcApwy #
• It's christmas eve and raining in Austin. If you're going out, watch out for cockbags. #psa #
• I'm at Spec's (10515 N Mopac Expy, Austin) http://t.co/UKNsIg78 #
• I'm at Tacodeli (12001 Burnet Rd, N Mo-Pac Expy, Austin) http://t.co/rD4ARlFO #
• Shit! I forgot there was football today! #
• I'm at H-E-B (12407 N Mopac Expy, at W Parmer Ln, Austin) http://t.co/0zPHnajy #
• Merry Christmas, everybody! You too, moviehouse! #
• Ahh Walgreens on Christmas morning. It's almost become a family tradition. (@ Walgreens) http://t.co/n3CVjcLx #

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• I'm at Round Rock Premium Outlets (3201 Oakmont Dr, Round Rock) http://t.co/iRXudIa2 #
• I'm at Target (1021 W University, Georgetown) http://t.co/JRFdnffa #
• I just unlocked the Level 5 "Mall Rat" badge on @foursquare! Preettty much an expert. http://t.co/7qMNX4vt #
• Someone's getting The Bieb for christmas! http://t.co/dOZZop7g #
• Yes, another damn Target. (@ Super Target) http://t.co/vcTZSCv4 #
• Cowboys games require alcohol. http://t.co/QweSHjW2 #
• Poor sad Christmas tree. just until the kitchen is done. http://t.co/qdzsKHcG #
• I'm at Tacodeli (12001 Burnet Rd, N Mo-Pac Expy, Austin) http://t.co/2ViNNW2q #
• I'm at Bed Bath & Beyond (9333 Research Blvd, Austin) http://t.co/u9rXbIcK #
• I'm at Home Depot (10515 N Mopac Expwy, Braker Ln, Austin) http://t.co/zfJAoaQ6 #
• Two coaches fired today. Must be Christmastime in the NFL. #
• Work internet connection: if you think that going slow as molasses in Alaska will stop me from surfing, you are so mistaken. #taurus #
• e! #
• Um…I missed a whole sentence there…. #
• is finally playing Civilization V http://t.co/slKYRTyB #
• I just purposefully put Mariah Carey "All I Want For Christmas is You" in my Christmas playlist. I must be ill. #
• "Gin, on the other hand, is the devil's piss fermented in a barrel of pine needles and juniper berries." YES. I LOVE THIS MAN! #
• Really? Feature Freeze is scheduled for 12/23? Really? #
• HAHAHAHA and all functionally tests complete on 12/23 as well? Thanks for telling me today. 3 days before I go on vacation. Until January. #
• In case my last two tweets weren't clear: DON'T SCHEDULE RELEASES NEAR THE HOLIDAYS. #
• I'm at Cheddars (13301 North Highway 183 # B, Austin) http://t.co/jndukbgq #
• is finally playing Civilization V http://t.co/slKYRTyB #
• Geeks and their kids. http://t.co/s2hiZvwP #
• I'm at Masala Wok (Austin) http://t.co/r3HRlAdP #
• Ahahahahahaha! http://t.co/koqUtNAj #
• It is 75 degrees and humid as fuck outside. What the hell, Central Texas? It's a week before Christmas! #grumpy #
• is finally playing Civilization V http://t.co/slKYRTyB #
• I unlocked the Seriously?!? achievement on Civilization V! http://t.co/slKYRTyB #
• This work laptop, I swear to God, I'm gonna punt this fucker over the fence. #
• Know what's going on in my kitchen? Cabinets being hauled in and assembled! SQUEEEE! #
• 2011 has been an expensive year…. #
• is finally playing Civilization V http://t.co/slKYRTyB #
• I unlocked 13 Steam achievements on Civilization V! http://t.co/slKYRTyB #
• Cabinets are now installed, I repeat: Cabinets Are Now Installed. #
• Going away happy hour (@ BJ's Restaurant & Brewhouse) http://t.co/rzDh5fOn #
• Man Transforms Mercedes McLaren Into Giant POS http://t.co/PXyt6Xoh #
• Hooooly crap. What happens when an educator takes a kids standardized test: http://t.co/Zg7KDv5I #
• LEGO, you tried 5 times to target girls. You failed 5 times. WHat makes this time different? http://t.co/FF3lwkmK #
• LEGO, stop making dolls and dumbing down LEGO sets for girls. Just make cool sets. Ditch the "doll play." We have enough dolls, thanks. #
• This is by far the worst minifig ever. http://t.co/cPHEsfUn #
• For fucks sake, Time Warner! You just fucking called LAST NIGHT to sell me shit. Why are you calling again today to sell me the same shit? #
• *sigh* I just bought my first Intel chip for my own build. First. Ever. I'm so sorry, AMD. So, so sorry. #
• In 13 minutes I will be officially off of work until January 9, 2012. Wheeee! #
• I'm at Best Buy (9607 Research Blvd., Austin) w/ 3 others http://t.co/rSYz4G9y #
• I'm at Casa Garcia's #4 (1901 N. IH 35, W Bowman Dr, Round Rock) http://t.co/jzTIY0l3 #
• I'm at Macaroni Grill (9828 Great Hills Trail, Research Blvd, Austin) http://t.co/prnm3ldd #

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• $2.91 for regular! (@ Costco Gas) http://t.co/FTlYRMyg #
• I'm at Target (10107 Research Blvd., at Great Hills Trail, Austin) http://t.co/fiij3T5w #
• I'm at Jack in the Box (9825 Burnet Rd, at Rutland Dr., Austin) http://t.co/csmMwtVZ #
• 3 touchdowns in just over 4 minutes! Damn! #steelers #
• Oh my, Tampa Bay are in their Creamsicle throwbacks. #
• Holy balls, Wallace is a freaking BEAST today! #steelers #
• 5 Bengals players were on him and none of them touched him. Wow. #steelers #
• Goddammit, CBS, I don;t get to watch Steelers games often! I know it's not very competitive, but COME ON, MAN! 🙁 #steelers #cbs #
• Cam Newton just broke the record for rushing QB touchdowns. 14. #
• A crafty post: Holiday Updates http://t.co/ZVLcpccN #
• Thank you, Oakland, for not getting shut out. #
• Never show that Hyundai commercial ever again. EVER. #NBC #SNFonNBC #
• "Oh webmeetings are great! They are the future!" If this is the future then I don't want to live anymore. Ugh. #
• 16 minutes to get a simple webmeeting and sharing going. grrr. #
• I don't want to create an account to buy one fucking thing. I will probably never go to your site again after today. Stop This Shit! #
• What's wrong with sliding on the ice in front of the church? Is it an affront to God or something? #ChristmasCarol #
• Why don't they air An American Christmas Carol anymore? It's Fonzie! Dressed like an old man! http://t.co/2hW1wSAL #
• That's all I can stand and I can't stands no more! I'm turning on the heat. #
• Floor polished, stain being applied shortly! #
• Instead of the Forever Lazy, they should have made a heated Snuggie. #
• What is going on today? RT @keyetv: Deadly Amtrak Shooting At Union Station In Dallas « CBS Dallas / Fort Worth http://t.co/IJkSYUji #
• Stained and polished! http://t.co/xstacpQV #
• I'm at Toys R Us (12901 N I H 35 # 800, Mouse Lane, Austin) http://t.co/0nob5Vvj #
• I'm at Golden Wok (5000 Canyon Ridge Dr, Austin) http://t.co/Rclty8YF #
• I'm at H-E-B (12407 N Mopac Expy, at W Parmer Ln, Austin) http://t.co/J0FOfPvv #
• BOC, GO GO GO GO GO ! #wootoff #
• I'm at Target (10107 Research Blvd., at Great Hills Trail, Austin) http://t.co/dwh3jJPe #
• I'm at DSW Shoes (10515 N Mo Pac Expy, Austin) http://t.co/MG46O0eC #
• I'm at Fuddruckers (11023 Pecan Park Blvd., at 620, Cedar Park) http://t.co/9slNj2CV #
• I'm at Toys R Us http://t.co/3djMnxlh #
• I'm at Sherwin Williams (7925 burnet rd, Anderson, Austin) http://t.co/xEAzMSVw #
• I just unlocked the Level 2 "Fixer Upper" badge on @foursquare! In it to win it! http://t.co/CvKZnrY3 #
• I'm at The Peached Tortilla (Moving Target, See Twitter or website for current location, Austin) http://t.co/d9GO5dUw #
• I'm at Hobby Lobby (12901 N I H 35 # 900, Parmer Ln, Austin) http://t.co/mtNSlHM2 #
• I'm at Jack in the Box (9825 Burnet Rd, at Rutland Dr., Austin) http://t.co/gPLrA9eN #
• At what point are you no longer considered a "new hire?" Way sooner than a year and a half, I'd think. #
• Unless you work for the state. #
• I'm at Sally Beauty Supply (10710 Research Blvd, Austin) http://t.co/GzAqPfo0 #
• I'm at Dragon's Lair Comics (6111 Burnet Road, Austin) http://t.co/34A0pwtj #
• I'm at Half Price Books (5555 N Lamar Blvd Ste, at Koenig Lane, Austin) http://t.co/BJUUF5tV #
• I'm at Panera Bread (9901 North Capital of Texas Hwy, btw Stonelake and Research, Austin) http://t.co/8pXFg3uX #
• is finally playing Cities in Motion and completely ignoring all homework. http://t.co/slKYRTyB #
• I'm at Roaring Fork (10850 Stonelake Blvd., N Mopac Expwy, Austin) http://t.co/AMno62LF #
• I'm at ULTA SPA (9607 Research Blvd, Austin) http://t.co/DkII80Dg #
• I'm at Toys R Us http://t.co/aO9ocG03 #
• I'm at Carrabba's Italian Grill (11590 Research Blvd, Austin) http://t.co/KL3xqubR #
• $82 worth of cat and dog toys and treats. I have neither a cat nor a dog. #
• I'm at Original Pancake House (1700 W Parmer Ln, Metric Blvd, Austin) http://t.co/z7eCeAow #
• I'm at Costco Gas (10401 N. Research Blvd., Austin) http://t.co/Sd0K3F3Z #
• This is a sweater for a Makers Mark bottle! #makersmarkambassabor http://t.co/2jE7BDDl #
• I'm at Spec's (10515 N Mopac Expy, Austin) http://t.co/taglqU6V #
• is finally playing Cities in Motion http://t.co/slKYRTyB #
• I'm at Manny's Uptown Kitchen (9503 Research Blvd., Loop 360, Austin) http://t.co/jgUqJVBo #
• I'm at Toy Joy (2900 Guadalupe St, W 29th St, Austin) http://t.co/AB07S2Rm #
• Awake, showered, and nowhere to go. WHY AM I UP????? #
• I'm at Costco (10401 Research Blvd., at Braker Ln., Austin) http://t.co/9q4IDLot #

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• Sink, microwave, and garbage disposal! New kitchen is so close. (@ Home Depot) http://t.co/xHGuXqM4 #
• I just unlocked the "Fixer Upper" badge on @foursquare! Tool Time! http://t.co/Dwyf2PM8 #
• Best black Friday place ever. (@ Super Target) http://t.co/BZmq3pwn #
• What the hell, Texans? I step out for a bit only to find you down to your 3rd string qb? #
• MUPPETS!!! (@ Alamo Drafthouse Cinema – Lake Creek for The Muppets w/ 3 others) http://t.co/G4P4PIOb #
• SERIOUSLY, COWBOYS? She got hit and tweeted twice and you censor her? Assholes. http://t.co/80ucRLJh #dallascowboyassholes #
• Aww man! My IngenuitTea has a crack in it. I didn't think anything of it until I saw the small puddle of tea under it. 🙁 #tea #realtea #
• Who takes 3 hours to trim a Christmas tree?? #fatherknowsbest #oldtimeradio #
• Where is all this snot coming from?!?!?? #
• "Kawaii" is now in the ENGLISH Oxford dictionary. What? #
• How can my nose be completely plugged (no air in or out) yet a steady stream of water flows right out of it??!?!? Fake sick sucks. #
• Listen. body. If you're gonna be sick, go all the way. This stuffy nose shit is a pain in the hole. #
• 66 games is still too much basketball. Christ. #nbafail #
• I'm at Jack in the Box (9825 Burnet Rd, at Rutland Dr., Austin) http://t.co/ayQmY1KQ #
• Hrm. Why does Jane Curtin never look like she wanted to be on SNL? #
• #YouWasSexyUntil you said you agreed with everything Rick Perry says. #
• What? Why? What? WHAT? http://t.co/sLbECoz4 #
• Demolition has begun. http://t.co/IRWKD3EX #
• is finally playing Cities in Motion and completely ignoring all homework. http://t.co/slKYRTyB #
• Day 1 of no kitchen. (@ Steak 'n Shake) http://t.co/daAsA36C #
• This right here is a really good reason why I cannot be a general contractor. Blargh. And it's only day 2. #
• "Remodeling is stressful." "Oh but I'm not doing it myself. How bad could it be?" FFFFFFFUUUUU—-! #
• Happy hour? (@ Chuy's) http://t.co/U5NkATRr #
• I'm at H-E-B (10710 Research Blvd. Ste. 200, at W Braker Ln & US 183, Austin) w/ 4 others http://t.co/5JQyMjtw #
• I'm at Austin Regional Clinic Quarry Lake (4515 Seton Center Blvd, Austint) http://t.co/lpa9Zj1d #
• I'm at Einstein Bros Bagels (4607 W Braker Ln, Research Blvd, Austin) w/ 2 others http://t.co/kYqtdXGA #
• Do people often get mail (or post) before 9am? It's a good day when I get mine before dark. #
• "I have never heard any woman (or man with taste) express anything but the deepest hatred for the entire Axe product line." #ChristmasTip #
• Kentucky church bans interracial couples to "promote greater unity". http://t.co/Dj2Y8aZQ #whywesuckasanation #
• Because we need more frigging WalMarts. RT @statesman: Wal-Mart says it plans to build four new supercenter… (cont) http://t.co/18LiZbHK #
• 15 kids and 3 baby daddies. Christ. http://t.co/Dj2Y8aZQ #
• Fuck people. http://t.co/YDHB2exz #
• Dear Google, when I type in "Ethel M" I mean "Ethel M". Stop "being helpful" and changing it to "Ethel Merman". #
• I'm at Opal Divine's Marina (12709 N. Mopac Expy., Parmer Ln., Austin) w/ 2 others http://t.co/283OFRxM #
• I'm at Original Pancake House (1700 W Parmer Ln, Metric Blvd, Austin) http://t.co/azpW5Sgg #
• I'm at Garden Ridge (2800 S IH 35, Round Rock) w/ 2 others http://t.co/xnadtBYR #
• I'm at Hobby Lobby (12901 N I H 35 # 900, Parmer Ln, Austin) http://t.co/aJvZNa7G #
• I'm at Walgreens (12550 Metric Blvd, W Parmer Ln, Austin) http://t.co/59qV6Qhc #
• I'm at Golden Wok (5000 Canyon Ridge Dr, Austin) http://t.co/mvtVG3K8 #
• I'm at H-E-B (500 Canyon Ridge Dr W, at Interstate Hwy 35, Austin) w/ 4 others http://t.co/JM8VRIA7 #
• Who approved another goddamn chipmunk movie??? And there's a honey badger joke? Fucking kill me now. #
• I'm at Costco (10401 Research Blvd., at Braker Ln., Austin) http://t.co/HeFjCu1T #

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• "That's weird. It's just like the Jagermeister air show all over again!" #futurama #
• "Hooray! KwanaaBot is here to save–oh they killed him." #futurama #
• "That's a Monty Python defense right there." Did I hear that right? #
• What is going on in Miami? Jesus Christ. Where have the Dolphins been all season? #nfl #
• Hugh Jackson != Hugh Jackman. Wolverine does not coach nor does he care about the Oakland Raiders. #
• Paid my deposit for my countertops! (@ Austin Stone Works) http://t.co/2RGywHep #
• Fine, Apple, you win! Go ahead and update fucking Quicktime. I don't even know why I have it installed. #
• I'm at Sushi Zushi at The Domain (3221 Feathergrass Ct, Austin) http://t.co/IuppRdam #
• I just unlocked the "Bento" badge on @foursquare! Irasshaimase! http://t.co/WQdeXZDA #
• Oh God. What's happening to me? There's NOTHING in the Black Friday sales I need/want. 🙁 I guess I'll just people watch. Like every year. #
• I'm at Dollar Tree (Parmer, Mopac, Austin) http://t.co/c2OV3hfK #
• I'm at Kolache Factory (4101 W Parmer Ln, Between Amherst Dr & Ganymede Dr, Austin) http://t.co/oDm2Tk8o #
• What the hell? Who cares that Taylor Swift took a swipe at Miley Cyrus? Swift thinks of a million people every morning? What? WHO CARES! #
• Young Jets fan reduced to tears, knows WAY more about the playoff picture than any adult I know. http://t.co/kfuF6LLF #
• I'm at Big Daddy's Burgers & Bar (9070 Research Blvd, Burnet Rd, Austin) http://t.co/HhE9TWLy #
• Screw my Pick'em Record. I'm rooting for the Lions over the Packers. It could happen! It happened 49 years ago…. #
• WATCH. THIS. SHIT. RT @DudleyandBob: The Most Insane Indian Game Show Contestants: http://t.co/83RXN2gE #
• What happened to Victoria Jackson? I really, REALLY hope she's just an elaborate troll. Can she really believe the crap she's spouting? #
• What the hell. I'm defending giblet gravy on the internet. #
• I must be allergic to this office. I can't breathe, I'm coughing, and I have gas. Well, that last one I can't blame on the office. #
• RT @bwhichard: AP reporting the Colts are being demoted to the SEC West. LSU in line for the promotion to the NFL. #
• Thanksgiving summed up in one comic: http://t.co/VWcMKn8F #
• Peh. I'm out this bitch. #turkeyday #shoppingweekend #
• I'm at Super Target (13900 N I H 35 # A1, at W Parmer Ln., Austin) http://t.co/thN5AfXF #
• I'm at CVS/pharmacy (825 S Crowley Rd., at Crowley Plover Rd., Crowley) http://t.co/6FnBQ1lp #
• "Dallas smells like wet fried chicken." Ooookay, @Dezdimona16 #
• My mother just walked into someones house. We think its my cousin's. #
• Oh lord, Spiderman: turn off my television…. #macysparade #
• Why are there multiple spidermen???? #macysparade #
• Hey! We counted 3 black rockettes! Up from last year! #macysparade #
• That ocean spray float is what you see before you die. What the christ????? #macysparade #
• Hamburger Helper has a float? What is going on here? #macysparade #
• Dude. You should know the cue to your own song to lipsync to. #macyparade #
• Power Rangers?? Are you fucking kidding me???? #macysparade #
• See that? Neil Diamond doesn't lipsync, bitches! #
• Dear Lions, deliver me from this bizarre as fuck parade. #macysparade #
• Line of the day, during A&M-UT game "bitch, you look like Bevo". #tamu #utexas #
• I'm at Sears (1888 Green Oaks Rd., in Ridgmar Mall, Fort Worth) http://t.co/lqZqByn7 #
• I just unlocked the “Mall Rat” badge on @foursquare! Time for a fancy pretzel. http://t.co/WZv8MtVp #
• I'm at JCPenny (1900 Green Oaks Rd., in Ridgmar Mall, Fort Worth) http://t.co/hNO6TCft #
• I'm at Best Buy (6750 West Fwy., at Green Oaks Rd., Fort Worth) http://t.co/0grWgOuM #
• I'm at Super Target (5700 Overton Ridge Blvd., at Bryant Irvin Rd., Fort Worth) http://t.co/4kKQrGCs #
• What? 10:48 and I'm pretty much done with Black Friday??? Dammit! Want to go more places, but these party poopers want to home. #
• Psh. We've only been out since 6am. Harumph. #
• I'm at Anna's Linens (hulen, fort worth) http://t.co/gPFQ2IY5 #
• Cherry icebox cookies!!!! Hope they don't suck. (@ Collin Street Bakery w/ 2 others) http://t.co/hanvdQTu #
• I'm at Fry's Electronics (12707 N. Mopac Expy., Parmer Ln., Austin) w/ 4 others http://t.co/FCOyEyD2 #
• I'm at Mimi's Cafe (10515 N Mopac Expy, HWY 183, Austin) http://t.co/VniBgbn6 #

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