The last few weekends sucked ass for football for me. I am not a Longhorn fan. Not by a long shot. So when #1 ranked (fuck rankings in the ass) OU got the shit kicked out of them by the Longhorns, I was perturbed.

No matter, says I, I still have the NFL (I don’t really follow college ball), right?

Thanks Cowboys. You lost to the Cardinals. The team that, when I mention “oh the Cardinals are playing” they think I mean baseball. No one but Matt fucking Leinhart cares about the Cardinals. And you lose to them.  It wasn’t bad enough that you lost the motherfucking REDSKINS game. The REDSKINS! That is the game you’re supposed to win. It’s your…other…rivalry game (how many fucking rivalries do you have?). And to follow it up…YOU LOSE TO THE GODDAMN RAMS! The RAMS? REALLY? Fuck me running! Why not just lay down for the Bengals…Oh wait! You almost did!

You are 4-3. Cut this shit out. I like Romo. I love the shit out of Barber. Felix Jones is awesome. I even give Folk a little love (kickers get no respect and all the shit). I have…a grudging respect for T.O. But how the fuck am I supposed to wear my new jersey when you’re sucking like this? I don’t even blame the injury or Pacman. Just get your fucking head on straight and stop embarrasing yourself.

Oh, Pacman? Fuck you, Pacman. You had one goddamn job to do and you fucked it up. Fucked it up ONE DAY–ONE MOTHEFUCKING DAY–before you had your job back. Jesus Christ.

Ugh. That abortion of a game was in the same slot as the Steelers Bengals game on CBS. Up until Thursday of last week, it was going to be shown in a big chunk of the country. All of Texas, as a matter of fact. Until Thursday. KEYE, the local CBS affiliate decided instead to show the Titans game. What. The. Fuck. The Titans are undefeated, which is great! Good for them! Everyone likes to see an undefeated team play, right? The Titans played against the Chiefs. This is like watching…something incredibly boring. Horribly unequal match up.

So why did I get the “pleasure” of this game to switch to when I couldn’t take the Cowboys any longer? My guess? Vince Motherfucking Young. He’s the Titans quarterback. Oh wait, NO HE’S NOT! Not since he pulled that disappearing crying pussy act when he got booed. And Lord know if there’s a Texas-Ex playing QB somewhere, we gotta reprezent his team! FUCK THAT! He didn’t even play that goddamn game! Motherfucker ain’t played since early September! God FORBID this goddamn town support some other Exes who are actually DOING SOMETHING on the field. Like, oh I don’t know, Limas Sweede? Where’d he end up? Steeler Country, bitch. And is doing a great job. He’s a wide receiver for fucks sake! He gets field time, he gets CAMERA time. And Casey Hampton (nose tackle, 8 seasons!) has played every goddamn game in regular season so far. Or Tony Hills…okay, I dunno who the fuck Tony Hills is, but he’s another Ex that was playing last weekend when your precious Vince Young was not. So, fuck you, KEYE for being the only goddamn station IN THE STATE to choose Vince over the Steelers. Ass.

And really, I would have appreciated if the Fox affiliate had switched to the Vikings/Bears game midway through the Cowboys. I think we all would have appreciated that.

« »