Apparently my house, my yard, my patio, my property in general is a shithole. Let’s list the reasons why!!

  1. The hailstorm almost two months ago fucked my roof and patio roof (big holes).
  2. My siding is old and starting to really look it.
  3. Same for the wood trim
  4. One of the trees in the backyard is dead. Deader than fuck. And full of carpenter ants.
  5. The trees adjacent to them have big dead branches quite possibly from whatever killed tree number one.
  6. I haven’t mowed in weeks.
  7. I haven’t edged since last year.
  8. My carpet is old, filthy, and nothing will revive it.
  9. Bright yellow countertops.
  10. The hole I put through the ceiling in the garage-gameroom 5 years ago is still covered by some random wood.

So. What will it take to fix this shit?

  1. Have not gotten estimates yet.
  2. Last estimate: $18,000 for Hardiplank. Fuck.
  3. No idea. would be fixed by 2.
  4. A chainsaw, three guys, and a rope. Or a service.
  5. A tree trimming service that actually returns phonecalls.
  6. Me getting off my ass and doing it.
  7. See 6.
  8. Floor and Decor actually having all of the tile I already fucking paid for. Not my fault you held the wrong 20 boxes and now have to scramble and get my shit. 5/16 is the deadline. Either way, there will be no carpet in the living room come June. I shudder to think what I will find when we pull up the carpet.
  9. Ugh.
  10. A big enough piece of drywall, I guess.

In case you haven’t noticed, I’m particularly grumpy.

« »