Dear Prednisone,
What happened, man? I thought we were cool. I thought we were tight. I had energy. I was getting shit done. This was the perfect time of year to be on you. We were living life to the fullest. At 80mg a day, you were my bestest friend ever. Sure, you made it so I would wake up at 3am wide awake occasionally, but it didn’t impact me too much. Then the muscle cramps hit, but I drank more water! I got shit done. I lifted all the weights! I cooked all the things! I crafted all the crap!
Then, I was cut to 40mg a day.
Now. Now you have betrayed me. The cramps are worse. My hands palsy up like I’m having a stroke. My leg cramps are worsening. I had to take breaks, for Christ’s sake! The energy, she is waning. You are sucking more and more potassium, magnesium, and calcium from my system. Why? Why have you forsaken me? Have I not swallowed your bitter pills on a fairly regular schedule? Have I not taken you with food and/or milk? Waking at 3am meant I at least got a few hours of sleep. But last night….there was no sleep. What did I do?
And MOONFACE! You FUCKER! YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKER! That’s just not even right! I have been losing inches, it was showing in my face and now? BAM! Mama June face! Nevermind the “Hey let’s eat ALL THE CARBS ALL GODDAMN DAY!” Ass! And THRUSH! Well. I can deal with the thrush. That’s not so bad.
We was cool, yo. Why you gotta play a sista like that? What happened?
What. Happened.