Dear Cincinnati Bengals,
You are the feel good team of the season. You show that you are made up of actual human beings that give a shit about their fellow human beings. Thank You.
Dear Green Bay Packers,
Are you allergic to Seattle? Is there some mental block there? WHat the fuck happened to you guys? I can’t take another loss to Seattle anymore. Has the Fail Mary game shaken your faith this much? You are a winning team. A strong team. Act like it and take those clowns down.
Dear Seattle Seahawks,
Goddamn I hate you guys. I hate you even more when I have your QB, receiver, and kicker on my fantasy team. That burns me up to no end. Just…FUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKK!!
Dear Detroit Loins,
I love you so very much. That was a fantastic game. I think you guys might actually have a shot. You have come so far from the 0-16 team you were not too long ago. That was the ultimate rebuilding year. Thank you for being awesome. Keep it up.
Dear Pittsburg Steelers,
HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOU? It was the motherfucking BROWNS. You lost an ENORMOUS lead! You Cowboy’d that right the fuck up! I have never seen so much December Romo wearing black and yellow. Goddamn. That was a fucking disgrace. Get your shit together.
Dear Dallas Cowboys,
I watched all of that shitty travesty of a farce of a game. Jesus fucking christ. What is wrong with you? I don’t even have the words to express how upset by that bullshit.
WELL THEY’RE NOT, TONY!
Dear Houston Texans,
You still have a horrible name but your defense is fan-fucking-tastic. Get well soon, Jadeveon!
Dear Atlanta Falcons,
I’m sorry. I really am. I have Matt Ryan sitting on my bench. Which means I left 34 goddamn points on my bench. I hope you continue this ass kicking trend.
Dear Indianapolis Colts,
What the fuck guys. What. The. Fuck. Don’t let that big forehead havin’ motherfucker rattle you! This is YOUR team now, Luck! ACT LIKE IT.
Dear Roger Goodell,
Just go.