Last night. 8:23pm. Home phone rings. 1-800 number. But my cell phone rings too. So it’s someone with my Google Voice number. I answer.

me: Hello? *nothing* Hello? *clicks* HEY! HELLO! (I give you three times)
Jake: This is Jake from Time Warner Cable! How are you?
me: Fine. (tersely)
Jake: Good! So I see you have our internet service. Are you interested in our tv and home phone service?
me: NOPE! Not one bit!
Jake: Oh. Well if you ever need us….

You motherfuckers. You had me. I was giving you actual praise for not upselling when I called Friday. Only to find that you just call back later for the sell. I was on the phone for 30 minutes for a 3 minute action. Not ONCE did I get an apology (Twitter does not count). I was on the phone that fucking long, don’t you think that I would have said “Yes please sign me up for your shitty DVR and crappy cable as well as IP phone that I still can’t rely on!”

Fuck. You.

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