• It is 100.4 degrees in my backyard. Why in the hell do I continue to live here? #ATXWeather #
  • WHAT THE FUCK? RT @WootLive: http://t.co/26zpodJq #
  • Heat advisory for central texas. Until 9pm. Wow. That's a lot of hot. #
  • What? Thunderstorm watch? Don't tease me bro. http://t.co/zQN1AuxX #
  • By God do I LOVE coming in early and having two straight hours of my day eaten up my shitty required meetings! #
  • Goddammit. Nothing fucks up a good rant like a stupid typo. #
  • You're giving a Powerpoint presentation. WHY ARE YOU NOT IN PRESENTATION MODE??? #
  • Oh my. http://t.co/lViH7ffE is well and truly busted. #
  • What IS the deal with crickets in Austin? Crickets mean fall, football games, no more summer. Why are they out NOW? #
  • Dangit! Do I buy a new phone or a tablet? 🙁 Damn you Google! (I love you google don't ever leave me.) #
  • Why am I not surprised? http://t.co/96LQG0FC #superman #batman #
  • It's not considered good business communication etiquette to use "metric fuckton" to describe home much work is being done, is it? #
  • I have this odd feeling that my email may have opened a can of worms. I may have told too much of the truth. Fucking work politics. #
  • I should have just ended it with "metric fuckton of work" like I wanted to. #
  • I'm at Panera Bread (Austin, TX) http://t.co/WncPFpbT #
  • And right on cue, my manager is having the end of week freakout. #
  • Him: "How long will this take?" Me: I have no idea what's involved." Him: "Guess" REALLY???????? #
  • I'm at Opal Divine's Marina (Austin, TX) w/ 2 others http://t.co/gPDABNaa #
  • I'm at 620 Café & Bakery (Round Rock, TX) http://t.co/HiGRRmJp #
  • I'm at Lane Bryant – Round Rock Outlet (Round Rock, TX) http://t.co/QDbYLV5v #
  • It's official. I can no longer wear underwire bras from Lane Bryant. Thanks a lot, right boob. You bastard. #
  • I'm at Kohl's (Round Rock, TX) http://t.co/dYTkBjiJ #
  • I'm at Old Navy (Round Rock, TX) w/ 2 others http://t.co/Tys3jlPA #
  • I'm at Kohl's (Austin, TX) http://t.co/y1mtkq7b #
  • I have watched both The Zookeeper and Jack and Jill in the same day. I did not hate them. #
  • David Spade has some surprisingly nice tits. #
  • Al Pacino was a really good sport. #dunkacino #
  • is finally playing Tropico 3: Absolute Power http://t.co/cidqpoo8 #
  • I'm at Costco Gas (Austin, TX) http://t.co/az2htqzm #
  • I'm at Central Market (Austin, TX) http://t.co/NAnR1xv0 #
  • I'm at TacoDeli (Austin, TX) w/ 4 others http://t.co/8ujrkVwH #
  • I just reached Level 5 of the "Hot Tamale" badge on @foursquare. I’ve checked in at 20 different Mexican Restaurants! http://t.co/8c6uMC1F #

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