• Sink, microwave, and garbage disposal! New kitchen is so close. (@ Home Depot) http://t.co/xHGuXqM4 #
  • I just unlocked the "Fixer Upper" badge on @foursquare! Tool Time! http://t.co/Dwyf2PM8 #
  • Best black Friday place ever. (@ Super Target) http://t.co/BZmq3pwn #
  • What the hell, Texans? I step out for a bit only to find you down to your 3rd string qb? #
  • MUPPETS!!! (@ Alamo Drafthouse Cinema – Lake Creek for The Muppets w/ 3 others) http://t.co/G4P4PIOb #
  • SERIOUSLY, COWBOYS? She got hit and tweeted twice and you censor her? Assholes. http://t.co/80ucRLJh #dallascowboyassholes #
  • Aww man! My IngenuitTea has a crack in it. I didn't think anything of it until I saw the small puddle of tea under it. 🙁 #tea #realtea #
  • Who takes 3 hours to trim a Christmas tree?? #fatherknowsbest #oldtimeradio #
  • Where is all this snot coming from?!?!?? #
  • "Kawaii" is now in the ENGLISH Oxford dictionary. What? #
  • How can my nose be completely plugged (no air in or out) yet a steady stream of water flows right out of it??!?!? Fake sick sucks. #
  • Listen. body. If you're gonna be sick, go all the way. This stuffy nose shit is a pain in the hole. #
  • 66 games is still too much basketball. Christ. #nbafail #
  • I'm at Jack in the Box (9825 Burnet Rd, at Rutland Dr., Austin) http://t.co/ayQmY1KQ #
  • Hrm. Why does Jane Curtin never look like she wanted to be on SNL? #
  • #YouWasSexyUntil you said you agreed with everything Rick Perry says. #
  • What? Why? What? WHAT? http://t.co/sLbECoz4 #
  • Demolition has begun. http://t.co/IRWKD3EX #
  • is finally playing Cities in Motion and completely ignoring all homework. http://t.co/slKYRTyB #
  • Day 1 of no kitchen. (@ Steak 'n Shake) http://t.co/daAsA36C #
  • This right here is a really good reason why I cannot be a general contractor. Blargh. And it's only day 2. #
  • "Remodeling is stressful." "Oh but I'm not doing it myself. How bad could it be?" FFFFFFFUUUUU—-! #
  • Happy hour? (@ Chuy's) http://t.co/U5NkATRr #
  • I'm at H-E-B (10710 Research Blvd. Ste. 200, at W Braker Ln & US 183, Austin) w/ 4 others http://t.co/5JQyMjtw #
  • I'm at Austin Regional Clinic Quarry Lake (4515 Seton Center Blvd, Austint) http://t.co/lpa9Zj1d #
  • I'm at Einstein Bros Bagels (4607 W Braker Ln, Research Blvd, Austin) w/ 2 others http://t.co/kYqtdXGA #
  • Do people often get mail (or post) before 9am? It's a good day when I get mine before dark. #
  • "I have never heard any woman (or man with taste) express anything but the deepest hatred for the entire Axe product line." #ChristmasTip #
  • Kentucky church bans interracial couples to "promote greater unity". http://t.co/Dj2Y8aZQ #whywesuckasanation #
  • Because we need more frigging WalMarts. RT @statesman: Wal-Mart says it plans to build four new supercenter… (cont) http://t.co/18LiZbHK #
  • 15 kids and 3 baby daddies. Christ. http://t.co/Dj2Y8aZQ #
  • Fuck people. http://t.co/YDHB2exz #
  • Dear Google, when I type in "Ethel M" I mean "Ethel M". Stop "being helpful" and changing it to "Ethel Merman". #
  • I'm at Opal Divine's Marina (12709 N. Mopac Expy., Parmer Ln., Austin) w/ 2 others http://t.co/283OFRxM #
  • I'm at Original Pancake House (1700 W Parmer Ln, Metric Blvd, Austin) http://t.co/azpW5Sgg #
  • I'm at Garden Ridge (2800 S IH 35, Round Rock) w/ 2 others http://t.co/xnadtBYR #
  • I'm at Hobby Lobby (12901 N I H 35 # 900, Parmer Ln, Austin) http://t.co/aJvZNa7G #
  • I'm at Walgreens (12550 Metric Blvd, W Parmer Ln, Austin) http://t.co/59qV6Qhc #
  • I'm at Golden Wok (5000 Canyon Ridge Dr, Austin) http://t.co/mvtVG3K8 #
  • I'm at H-E-B (500 Canyon Ridge Dr W, at Interstate Hwy 35, Austin) w/ 4 others http://t.co/JM8VRIA7 #
  • Who approved another goddamn chipmunk movie??? And there's a honey badger joke? Fucking kill me now. #
  • I'm at Costco (10401 Research Blvd., at Braker Ln., Austin) http://t.co/HeFjCu1T #

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