• "That's weird. It's just like the Jagermeister air show all over again!" #futurama #
  • "Hooray! KwanaaBot is here to save–oh they killed him." #futurama #
  • "That's a Monty Python defense right there." Did I hear that right? #
  • What is going on in Miami? Jesus Christ. Where have the Dolphins been all season? #nfl #
  • Hugh Jackson != Hugh Jackman. Wolverine does not coach nor does he care about the Oakland Raiders. #
  • Paid my deposit for my countertops! (@ Austin Stone Works) http://t.co/2RGywHep #
  • Fine, Apple, you win! Go ahead and update fucking Quicktime. I don't even know why I have it installed. #
  • I'm at Sushi Zushi at The Domain (3221 Feathergrass Ct, Austin) http://t.co/IuppRdam #
  • I just unlocked the "Bento" badge on @foursquare! Irasshaimase! http://t.co/WQdeXZDA #
  • Oh God. What's happening to me? There's NOTHING in the Black Friday sales I need/want. 🙁 I guess I'll just people watch. Like every year. #
  • I'm at Dollar Tree (Parmer, Mopac, Austin) http://t.co/c2OV3hfK #
  • I'm at Kolache Factory (4101 W Parmer Ln, Between Amherst Dr & Ganymede Dr, Austin) http://t.co/oDm2Tk8o #
  • What the hell? Who cares that Taylor Swift took a swipe at Miley Cyrus? Swift thinks of a million people every morning? What? WHO CARES! #
  • Young Jets fan reduced to tears, knows WAY more about the playoff picture than any adult I know. http://t.co/kfuF6LLF #
  • I'm at Big Daddy's Burgers & Bar (9070 Research Blvd, Burnet Rd, Austin) http://t.co/HhE9TWLy #
  • Screw my Pick'em Record. I'm rooting for the Lions over the Packers. It could happen! It happened 49 years ago…. #
  • WATCH. THIS. SHIT. RT @DudleyandBob: The Most Insane Indian Game Show Contestants: http://t.co/83RXN2gE #
  • What happened to Victoria Jackson? I really, REALLY hope she's just an elaborate troll. Can she really believe the crap she's spouting? #
  • What the hell. I'm defending giblet gravy on the internet. #
  • I must be allergic to this office. I can't breathe, I'm coughing, and I have gas. Well, that last one I can't blame on the office. #
  • RT @bwhichard: AP reporting the Colts are being demoted to the SEC West. LSU in line for the promotion to the NFL. #
  • Thanksgiving summed up in one comic: http://t.co/VWcMKn8F #
  • Peh. I'm out this bitch. #turkeyday #shoppingweekend #
  • I'm at Super Target (13900 N I H 35 # A1, at W Parmer Ln., Austin) http://t.co/thN5AfXF #
  • I'm at CVS/pharmacy (825 S Crowley Rd., at Crowley Plover Rd., Crowley) http://t.co/6FnBQ1lp #
  • "Dallas smells like wet fried chicken." Ooookay, @Dezdimona16 #
  • My mother just walked into someones house. We think its my cousin's. #
  • Oh lord, Spiderman: turn off my television…. #macysparade #
  • Why are there multiple spidermen???? #macysparade #
  • Hey! We counted 3 black rockettes! Up from last year! #macysparade #
  • That ocean spray float is what you see before you die. What the christ????? #macysparade #
  • Hamburger Helper has a float? What is going on here? #macysparade #
  • Dude. You should know the cue to your own song to lipsync to. #macyparade #
  • Power Rangers?? Are you fucking kidding me???? #macysparade #
  • See that? Neil Diamond doesn't lipsync, bitches! #
  • Dear Lions, deliver me from this bizarre as fuck parade. #macysparade #
  • Line of the day, during A&M-UT game "bitch, you look like Bevo". #tamu #utexas #
  • I'm at Sears (1888 Green Oaks Rd., in Ridgmar Mall, Fort Worth) http://t.co/lqZqByn7 #
  • I just unlocked the “Mall Rat” badge on @foursquare! Time for a fancy pretzel. http://t.co/WZv8MtVp #
  • I'm at JCPenny (1900 Green Oaks Rd., in Ridgmar Mall, Fort Worth) http://t.co/hNO6TCft #
  • I'm at Best Buy (6750 West Fwy., at Green Oaks Rd., Fort Worth) http://t.co/0grWgOuM #
  • I'm at Super Target (5700 Overton Ridge Blvd., at Bryant Irvin Rd., Fort Worth) http://t.co/4kKQrGCs #
  • What? 10:48 and I'm pretty much done with Black Friday??? Dammit! Want to go more places, but these party poopers want to home. #
  • Psh. We've only been out since 6am. Harumph. #
  • I'm at Anna's Linens (hulen, fort worth) http://t.co/gPFQ2IY5 #
  • Cherry icebox cookies!!!! Hope they don't suck. (@ Collin Street Bakery w/ 2 others) http://t.co/hanvdQTu #
  • I'm at Fry's Electronics (12707 N. Mopac Expy., Parmer Ln., Austin) w/ 4 others http://t.co/FCOyEyD2 #
  • I'm at Mimi's Cafe (10515 N Mopac Expy, HWY 183, Austin) http://t.co/VniBgbn6 #

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