Some time in early December, aelerelean called me at work to say “There’s something in the attic chittering and running around above my room.” FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! That’s all I needed was a damn critter in the attic. He called our pest control guy and animal control. Got no answer from the city but the pest guy said he’d drop off a trap. A trap that apparently 5 year olds can figure out but two 30-something adults cannot. Well, the critter was never heard from and the trap went out into the storage shed.
Fast forward to about a week ago. The house had a …smell. Like overripe vegetables. Did I leave something out? Is the fridge full of year old veg? Nope. Everything was fine. I cleaned a bit, I lit candles, I sprayed air freshener. The smell just got worse. And near the back of the house. Aelerelean figured there was food trash in his garbage can. All garbage was emptied. Still. The Smell. Tuesday I get up (vacation! WHOOO!) and need something from his room. I open the door and am KNOCKED THE FUCK OVER BY THE SMELL. I give aelerelean the news over chat:
me: hey. good news, bad news, and “ah fuck” news. bad news: I woke up at 6:30 this morning. good news: I located the source of the smell. It’s coming from your room. “ah fuck” news: where was the last time you heard The Critter in the attic?
aelerelean: : Ah, FUCK
We call pest guy and tell him The Critter Situation has resolved itself. He came over, sent his poor wife into the attic and…nothing. The attic was undisturbed. No rodent tracks, nothing was dug up, the insulation was just as it has been since it was put in back in 2004. And no smell. So what the fuck? It must have died in the wall. NOOOOO! small holes were drilled and a camera inserted. No critter. But we all agreed that it really didn’t smell like dead critter. Kinda more mildewy and wet like. Huh. To get rid of the smell we were told to get these odor absorbing bags. They, well, absorb odor. Even dead thing odor. Without having to remove dead thing. I highly recommend them. We hung a bag up and in no time, the smell was gone. But what was it??? We search. after a few minutes, we notice that it got stronger in a box of books. But there was nothing else in the box. Just books. Okay. Then we felt the floor. It felt slightly damp. Of course. Then we moved the bookshelf. Yup. The carpet behind the bookshelf was wet. From where?
At the spot of the first Dampening, it shares a wall with my tub where I notice some manky grout. Damn. I must have a hole! Off to Lowes to get caulk and grout and stuff. I fix that then remember that he has TWO bookshelves. We move the second one. More wet carpet. DAMN! But this shelf shares a wall with HIS bathroom. On a hunch I look under his sink.
OH MY FUCKING GOD IT WAS A SEA OF MILDEW!
We installed an under-sink water filter that apparently has been leaking for GOD KNOWS HOW LONG turning his white vanity a nice green-black. On the plus side, at least a critter hadn’t bit a hole in something or died in the wall. Nope. Just fucking water damage. So now there’s a fan and an air filter going in his room and the exhaust fan and heat lamp in his bathroom. If the vanity wasn’t so damn awkward I would suggest we caulk the shit out of the seams underneath and apply waterproof ANYTHING to it. I am so pissed right now.
Oh and guess who is allergic to molds? Yeah. All of this on top of having to shell out $1440 for strut work to my car. Everything related to struts was shot. Fuck me running. This kills Operation: Screw Our Guests. *sigh*
Happy fucking new year.