Things I have learned:
1) Being in graduate school, you would think that the admin and faculty would treat you like an adult since most of the students are, well, fucking adults. Many of us have jobs. Jobs in our field. Now, I’m not bitching about homework. I’m not whinging on about “oh poor me, I work and don’t have time to devote to your oh so important assignments.” No. I’m an adult. School means work outside of class. No, my bitch is with “Oh hey, I’m having office hours from 3-4pm today!” Yippe fucking skip. Or “If you don’t understand you need to come see me during my office hours at 1 in the afternoon in a city 40 miles away!” No, fuckhead, I can’t and you need to realize that…SO ANSWER YOUR GODDAMN EMAIL! I follow your instructions and format my shit like you said to and yet, your turnaround time is abysmal. You know what that teaches me? Not to ask you for shit.
2) Still with the “we’re adults” thing: “You need to be here on time so we can get started on time!” I’m all about that. If class starts at 6:30, start teaching at 6:30. If I’m late, that’s my problem (haven’t been yet!). I will slip in as fast and as quietly as my fat ass can so as not to disturb you. So when I see assholes come stumbling in 10 minutes late REEKING of smoke, I get pissed. You had time to smoke, but couldn’t get to class? Oh fuck you. Oh, and you two chucklefucks who sit IN THE FRONT ROW: Shut. The. Fuck. Up. It’s bad enough that I have to decipher the instructor’s accent but hearing you two chattering away in whatever fucking language it is on top of him is distracting. We’re all in this class because we’re fucking stupid in C++. You couldn’t grasp the difference between an integer and a double 4 weeks ago. So how’s about you shut up and listen to the guy in the front of the class. You know, the one with four degrees and happens to be head of the goddamn program.
3) Yes, you teach the Software Engineering Practicum class. I know. We all know. No, I won’t be taking your class because I don’t have to. I don’t care what you think, the catalog and the advisor say different. Stop pushing thesis on everyone. Not every goddamn topic should be a thesis. No, I’m not doing a thesis. Stop calling on poor Craig fifteen times every class period. We don’t care about his thesis. Your spelling and grammar are atrocious making your notes almost useless. No, I’m not doing a thesis! Your information is almost 20 years out of date. Stop telling us that developers hate the testers and encouraging it. If I tell you that I felt totally comfortable telling a dev that his code broke and the dev says “ah, okay, thanks!” I’M NOT FUCKING LYING. The bruised ego bullshit may still be alive and well but not everywhere. Stop perpetuating the attitude. 99% of the class will go on to become developers and you’re just fucking everyone they will have to work with. There are software jobs out there that have *gasp* NOTHING TO DO WITH THE GOVERNMENT. There are development jobs that *double gasp* have nothing to do with life or death software! No, I’m not doing a goddamn thesis!
4) Going back to school to get an advanced degree in the field you already have a job in, sucks donkey balls. Why? You learn the “way it should be” at night and live “the way it really goes” during the day. That fucks with you. You can’t help but be a cynic and write your answers based on reality. I mean, it’s an absolute *joy* to write a document for class that you’ve written 15 of in the last 8 years for work and have them be two completely different animals. That’s just a wonderful fucking feeling.
December can’t come soon enough.
