Category: Life


Why Tuesdays and Thursdays Suck

Filed Under: school by topenga — Comments Off on Why Tuesdays and Thursdays Suck
September 17, 2009

I’m in graduate school. I don’t know why. But I started and will finish.

This school does not offer a whole hell of a lot of classes at the remote campus. I can barely get my required classes. So when it came time to register, I chose a class I needed and a filler, to avoid having to drive 70+ miles once a week (and getting home at 10:45pm) and be angry for one reason. Instead, I drive…considerably less than 70 miles 3 times a week…and I’m still angry for another reason. Fuck.

This “filler” class was not chosen because I was particularly interested in the subject or because it was easy. Oh my no. It is not easy by any means. I chose this class because it was going to be taught by one of the best professors in the department. This is one of *her* subjects. She worked with the person who wrote the book (a U.T. professor). She knows her shit. I check my schedule a day before class starts (we won’t get into that) and I see her name gone and someone else’s in it’s place. Ah fuck. I prayed for it to be a mistake.

It wasn’t. Shit. This new guy starts off saying that he didn’t know he was teaching this class until two days prior. He also talks up how the original teacher is 15 kinds of awesome and we should really take the class from her. Well…WE TRIED. The school fucked us. So. Here I am. Perturbed.

Next, there is a math major in the class. He’s almost “that guy”. You know, the one who thinks he knows more than the teacher. Only in this case HE DOES. Fuck. So. Here I am. Upset.

First assignment is given. I see that it’s the same assignment the undergrad class is being given. Oh, didn’t I mention that it is a merged class? Yeah. It didn’t click when I registered. I’ve taken the undergrad class. 13 years ago. Fuck. So. Here I am. Discombobulated.

His notes are online. You can download them. Oh wait, they’re worthless until the actual day of class because he’s either modifed or replaced the file completely. Fuck. So. Here I am. Having an ulcer.

And, just now, he went off topic. Again. For the third time. In a class that only lasts 1 hour, 20 minutes. I vaguely know what he was prattling on about because I’ve long ago stopped listening (It’s only mid september. goddammit.). Although I did hear a reference to entertaining lectures and how MICHAEL JACKSON should be paying him to do lectures. Yes, really. I don’t know.

So. Here I am. Angry.

Oh, and in the time it took to write this, he’s gone off topic TWO MORE TIMES.

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The price we pay…

Filed Under: exercise by topenga — Comments Off on The price we pay…
September 1, 2009

In May, a classmate said “hey, you wanna play kickball?” I said “Sure! Sounds like fun!” Oh fuck me running. It was a nightmare of heat and pain that first month. I am woefully fat and out of shape. 200 something pounds of person should not go from couch to running laps and hopping over little cones (I totally have a 2-inch vertical). This team (part of the AWKA), was what is known as a “good team”. Meaning, they know how to play (real rules, not playground big bouncy ball rules), they are moderately fit (seriously, the girl who got me involved looks like a fucking gazelle when she runs), and are in it to win. I…was a boat anchor. Oh I tried my hardest in those sweltering 105 degree days. I eventually got faster, I could make it a whole lap and a half around the playing field (or a full down and back across the grassy, dog shit mined grassy field) without having to break into a walk. I was not afraid of the ball, I could kick a little better (bunting. bunting rocks), and sprinting from home to first made them wonder where I had been hiding all of that hustle. But when it really came down to it, I was not at their level. No worries, though. The coach helped me find a team at the more beginner level.

This team had a couple of somewhat experienced players, some former soccer players, some former/current softball players. This was more my speed. I was still catching balls, still hustling, still bunting. We lost our first 3 games. The first two should have had the mercy rule invoked. 17-1, 18-5. On hot, still, nasty days. But we quickly learned. Because the 3rd game came along. We still lost but it was 4-1. We’d figured out how to hold ’em. Then, one day it all clicked. We all started kicking better, hustling muuuuch more, and catching pop flys. 4th game? We won. A shut out. 6-0. Then this past week, against a team we’d already played (who beat us), we won again: 8-4. The transformation is amazing.

Now that I’ve said all that, and beat my own chest about, let me get to the real reason for this post: injuries. If you go to an adult (not li’l miss) kickball game, you will see a common theme: braces. Not for your teeth, but for the knees. Knee braces, ankle wraps, fingers taped, full compression arm wraps. Yeah. We’re older and broken. My house smelled of BenGay for the first couple of months. After every practice it was shower, apply ice, then BenGay or Icy Hot before bed. I jammed my middle finger of my left hand so many times now (as recently as last night, actually!) that I have just come to accept that I will never be able to wear my ring ever again. My ankles (never at the same time) decide to just become “loose” and give no support. My knee will just tweak itself. I don’t even have to turn odd. Just “creak” and I’m in a brace that night. I’ve been smacked in the tits so many times now, that I almost don’t even notice. If I don’t kick properly I hit my shins repeatedly (shin guards!) leading to bruises. If I don’t stretch my shins (don’t ask) they burn. All during practice/the game, that night, that next day or just until it decides to stop. It. Fucking. Hurts. I pulled my quad. Well, pull isn’t quite right. I took off for first base and felt a “snap”. Then came the pain. You will learn to stretch properly (I obviously haven’t). I’ve also been hit by base runners (arm bruised) and smacked in the face by the ball (sore spot on my nose for a couple of weeks).

I’m a bundle full of pain and hurty, but it’s the best exercise I’ve had in a long while.

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Motherfucking Bees Pt. 2

Filed Under: house by topenga — Comments Off on Motherfucking Bees Pt. 2
July 30, 2009

I came home yesterday and went out back to water my yard a little. As I was talking with TR and @aelerelean, I mentioned the bee swarm on the back fence.  They’d been there over two weeks by this point. I said “oh, they’re not aggressive because they haven’t found a home. There’s nothing to protect.” @aelerelean went to check them out. Yeah. They have indeed established a colony. On my fence. The part of the fence that gets full sun all day long. “oh no” the internet said “they’ll stay 4 days at most. They like spaces that can be protected and temperature controlled!” How very, very wrong the internetwebtubes were. This is a spot just under the pitiful shade of a vine (seriously, the leaves are maybe 2 inches long), on a chain link fence, completely unprotected. No nooks. No crannies. The reason why this vine flourishes in the summer is because it likes…DIRECT GODDAMN SUN. So how is this beneficial to bees?  I know not. @aelerelean believes that these are lazy bees. When they swarmed, the vine had blooms. Easy food source? Perhaps. The blooms are gone.  Seriously, I thought bees were smarter than this. Hell, I should have been smarter than this to believe a homeless swarm would just chill for over two weeks.

For comparison:

Here’s the swarm on the 15th: [nggtags gallery=swarm]
Here’s the hive: [nggtags gallery=hive]

As you can see, there’s wax now. Wax. Meaning it’s a full blown frigging hive. ARGH! Now I gotta pay for someone to take them alive. It seems that no beekeepers want unknown wild bees in the Texas area. I blame killer bees. 🙁

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New Neighbors

Filed Under: house by topenga — Comments Off on New Neighbors
July 15, 2009


BEES

I have new neighbors. Hundreds of them. Yes. That clump of brown is a swarm of FUCKING BEES. OH GOD!!! I have been told that fire, fire is the only thing that will expunge the horridness of this insect we call a bee. But I can’t do that to the poor devils. It’s a swarm of honeybees. Non Africanized. They’re just homeless little buggers looking for a place to set up shop , make more bees, and make delicious honey. If I weren’t so afraid of them, I’d set up a hive myself. But seriously. They’re bees. Fuck that. They need to go. They’ve been there since Sunday. Everything I read on the Interwebtubes say that they can stay 15 minutes or overnight. It’s Wednesday. Day 4 of the bees. The scouts are supposed to go out and find a spot for a new colony. They have failed. Some enterprising young/old beekeeper can come along and give them a home. This would be optimal. Either that or their queen is dead/injured. This would be bad and sub-optimal. No queen, no colony. Swarm dies. 🙁

I sent an email to a guy who says he removes swarms for free (yay!). We’ll see how that goes. In the meantime, I keep peeking out the back door, hoping they’ve legged it.

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Done. No really.

Filed Under: house by topenga — Comments Off on Done. No really.
June 3, 2009

We’re finally done. I finished caulking yesterday (three more tubes needed. wow) and got the furniture moved back in. Ahhhhh. None of my furniture was as heavy as boxes of tile. Really. Futon? Pshhh. Couch? Just awkward. The TV is louder and so lovely. I have missed my TV. And the consoles. I missed you too guys. Never shall we be parted that long again.

Now to repopulate the living room with all the crap we should have thrown away in the first place.

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My house is not as much of a shithole: An Update

Filed Under: house by topenga — Comments Off on My house is not as much of a shithole: An Update
June 1, 2009

I have made changes to my house and property, etc! So, it’s getting better!

  1. The hailstorm almost two months ago fucked my roof and patio roof (big holes). UPDATE: Got an estimate. Work starts in about 4 weeks. New roof and a brand new patio cover! Wood and shingles!
  2. My siding is old and starting to really look it.
  3. Same for the wood trim
  4. One of the trees in the backyard is dead. Deader than fuck. And full of carpenter ants. UPDATE: Ants killed. Dead tree removed! So much more sun. 🙁
  5. The trees adjacent to them have big dead branches quite possibly from whatever killed tree number one. UPDATE: Turned out to be either a) a fungus or b) “It was it’s time to die. I don’t know. But both tree people agreed I have a fungus on one of the remaining trees. They were all trimmed and fertilized. I resolve to take better care of my poor trees.
  6. I haven’t mowed in weeks. UPDATE: I mowed. Now I need to do it again.
  7. I haven’t edged since last year. UPDATE: I edged. I’m good for a little while.
  8. My carpet is old, filthy, and nothing will revive it. UPDATE: TILED LIVINGROOM! WHOOHOO!
  9. Bright yellow countertops.
  10. The hole I put through the ceiling in the garage-gameroom 5 years ago is still covered by some random wood.

YAY! Progress!

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The day after that….

Filed Under: house by topenga — Comments Off on The day after that….
June 1, 2009

We finished laying ALL the tiles, walkway accent included, by 8pm Wednesday night.

[nggtags gallery=day3]

Then grouted Thursday.

[nggtags gallery=day4]

Friday we said “fuck it” and went to Fry’s, then to Rug Decor to find an area rug. They have great rugs! I just didn’t want to spend that much. 🙁 Looks like it’s back to Lowes for me.

Saturday we cleaned. I am soooo tired of walking around on grit.

Sunday I sealed the grout and the slate:

[nggtags gallery=day5]

I also bought a new vacuum because i think I killed my last one. My mom gave it to me when I moved out. in 2001. It was old then. but still did the job. I now have a brand spankin’ new Eureka Smart Boss. I started by vacuuming the other area rug. A pen was about 9 inches away. The force of the suction PULLED THE PEN TOWARDS IT. Hot damn!

It is now Monday. I am still not done. I now have to use caulk around the edges (where the tile meets the wall/step). This is supposed to aid in keeping the tile from breaking when the house settles. I bought one tube. I’m an idiot. I still have 3 sides of the room to do. Erg. Tomorrow it’s off to Home Depot for more. Because I am an idiot who can’t think ahead.

What I learned:

  • If you have never tiled before, don’t fucking start with 20″ tiles in a big ass living room. Although, if you’re gonna do something, go big or go home.
  • 20 boxes of 20″ tile are HEAVY.
  • One 20″ tile is HEAVY. But only on day 1. Then next few days, you’ll be tossing them around like dolls.
  • Don’t let the person who can’t draw a straight line with a ruler cut the damn tile. Seriously. If you come over, don’t look too closely.
  • Your walls are not straight. None of them are. A 3/16″ grout line WILL turn into a 1/2″ or MORE.
  • Cordless drills cannot mix thinset.
  • 8 year old poorly treated corded drills will throw smoke and still not mix the thinset.
  • Screw kneepads.
  • Screw sunken living rooms.
  • Bags of thinset weigh 50 lbs. Each. You need 6 for a 236 sqft room. That’s 300 pounds. From the floor of Home Depot to the basket, from the basket to the car, from the car to the house, from wherever the hell you put it in the house to outside.
  • Bags of sanded grout weight 25 lbs. Each. You need 2 for the same 236 sqft room (stupid sunken living room). That’s 50 pounds. You know the drill.
  • One tube of caulk is not enough. Because I’m retarded.
  • If your hand is swollen on day 1 (carpet removal was actually day 0 and what caused my pain) and you power through it, you will pay. All week, and the week after. Heat helps.
  • When you pull up the nails from the tack strips (nasty, rotten things) you will pull up concrete. Those same nails will break their heads. Because they are rusted and over 30 years old. Beat them until they break. Very cathartic.
  • Aleve, aspirin, Vicodin: do whatever you gotta do because you WILL be sore.
  • STAY HYDRATED! Best advice I was ever given. The first day of real tiling, I went through 8 bottles of Gatorade. I do not care for Gatorade.

It is now the next week. I cannot bend over completely without my legs screaming, my back is still stiff, my hand still hurts. But my livingroom is about 10 degrees cooler and all echo-y.

So there you have it. Our tiling adventure.Will I do it again? Probably. I still have 7 boxes of tile and an entryway to do. Fuck.

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The next day…

Filed Under: house by topenga — Comments Off on The next day…
June 1, 2009

I learned to use a wet tile saw! And not the one I borrowed (unfortunately). The one we borrowed needed some special tool to get the blade off. We didn;t have that tool. Tico needed to go to Lowes to replace the cheap ass scraper I had bought (bad me) so I tagged along and bought a saw. $88. Great! Folks, there’s a reason this saw is $88. It looks like it should have had Playskool or Fisher-Price written on it. The assembly instructions sucked ass and the bottom was made of plastic. But it cut a full day’s worth of tile. Seriously. I was still cutting at 6 or 7 Tuesday night. Anyway, Tico (hopped up on Vicodin and Aleve) measured tile, I cut tile, all was good. We laid the tiles out then began cementing into place. Didn’t finish but got a lot done.

No images.

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“Staycation” (yecch) Day 1

Filed Under: house by topenga — Comments Off on “Staycation” (yecch) Day 1
May 25, 2009

It is 11:34pm. We have been working since noon with one break around 6 for something that resembled dinner. I wished for my feet to fall off.

We got the “field” tiles laid. These are the bulk of the floor and required no cuts. At the last minute I decided to lay the straight shot of accent tile (6″x3″ slate). I could do this sitting down. Which was great. Went through about 80 tiles. I think I destroyed a recycling bin. It is not meant to hold a hefty human. So now we go to bed and sleep the sleep of the exhausted. Tomorrow I get to learn how to use a wet tile saw.

Pictures tomorrow. If I haven’t died.

Edit: so my pictures are late. Whatever.

[nggtags gallery=day2]

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The work, she has begun

Filed Under: house by topenga — Comments Off on The work, she has begun
May 24, 2009

We have decided to tile the living room. Okay, *I* decided I wanted to tile the living room. We picked a week (memorial day week), took vacation, bought the tile and stuff, and here we are. It’s really happening. I bought all the stuff. I’m not hauling 350 pounds of mortar and grout and quite possibly half a ton of porcelain tile back to where I bought it. So. This is happening.

Click an image to see it in a mini slideshow.

[nggtags gallery=day1]
So that’s where we are now: carpet removed, padding removed, tack strips loosened. Now I am headed off to actually remove the tacks strips and nails, clean the concrete and do some patch work on the step.

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