Category: Life


Critters In The Attic

Filed Under: house by topenga — Comments Off on Critters In The Attic
January 5, 2011

Some time in early December, aelerelean called me at work to say “There’s something in the attic chittering and running around above my room.” FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! That’s all I needed was a damn critter in the attic. He called our pest control guy and animal control. Got no answer from the city but the pest guy said he’d drop off a trap. A trap that apparently 5 year olds can figure out but two 30-something adults cannot. Well, the critter was never heard from and the trap went out into the storage shed.

Fast forward to about a week ago. The house had a …smell. Like overripe vegetables. Did I leave something out? Is the fridge full of year old veg? Nope. Everything was fine. I cleaned a bit, I lit candles, I sprayed air freshener. The smell just got worse. And near the back of the house. Aelerelean figured there was food trash in his garbage can. All garbage was emptied. Still. The Smell. Tuesday I get up (vacation! WHOOO!) and need something from his room. I open the door and am KNOCKED THE FUCK OVER BY THE SMELL. I give aelerelean the news over chat:

me: hey. good news, bad news, and “ah fuck” news. bad news: I woke up at 6:30 this morning. good news: I located the source of the smell. It’s coming from your room. “ah fuck” news: where was the last time you heard The Critter in the attic?
aelerelean: : Ah, FUCK

We call pest guy and tell him The Critter Situation has resolved itself. He came over, sent his poor wife into the attic and…nothing. The attic was undisturbed. No rodent tracks, nothing was dug up, the insulation was just as it has been since it was put in back in 2004. And no smell. So what the fuck? It must have died in the wall. NOOOOO! small holes were drilled and a camera inserted. No critter. But we all agreed that it really didn’t smell like dead critter. Kinda more mildewy and wet like. Huh. To get rid of the smell we were told to get these odor absorbing bags. They, well, absorb odor. Even dead thing odor. Without having to remove dead thing. I highly recommend them. We hung a bag up and in no time, the smell was gone. But what was it??? We search. after a few minutes, we notice that it got stronger in a box of books. But there was nothing else in the box. Just books. Okay. Then we felt the floor. It felt slightly damp. Of course. Then we moved the bookshelf. Yup. The carpet behind the bookshelf was wet. From where?

At the spot of the first Dampening, it shares a wall with my tub where I notice some manky grout. Damn. I must have a hole! Off to Lowes to get caulk and grout and stuff. I fix that then remember that he has TWO bookshelves.  We move the second one. More wet carpet. DAMN! But this shelf shares a wall with HIS bathroom. On a hunch I look under his sink.

OH MY FUCKING GOD IT WAS A SEA OF MILDEW!

We installed an under-sink water filter that apparently has been leaking for GOD KNOWS HOW LONG turning his white vanity a nice green-black. On the plus side, at least a critter hadn’t bit a hole in something or died in the wall. Nope. Just fucking water damage. So now there’s a fan and an air filter going in his room and the exhaust fan and heat lamp in his bathroom. If the vanity wasn’t so damn awkward I would suggest we caulk the shit out of the seams underneath and apply waterproof ANYTHING to it. I am so pissed right now.

Oh and guess who is allergic to molds? Yeah. All of this on top of having to shell out $1440 for strut work to my car. Everything related to struts was shot. Fuck me running. This kills Operation: Screw Our Guests. *sigh*

Happy fucking new year.

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Semester Wrap Up

Filed Under: school by topenga — Comments Off on Semester Wrap Up
December 23, 2010

Grades came in Monday. I passed my hell class. YAY! I woke up early Monday and logged in to see my grades, nervous, ready to jump on the appeal train if shit didn’t go as planned. I scroll down and see the lovely, lovely words “Academic Probation Removed”. Yeah, boyyeeeee! I am now officially one class and one comprehensive exam away from my degree. And I can’t fucking wait.

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Creamer or Chicken Soup

Filed Under: work by topenga — Comments Off on Creamer or Chicken Soup
November 30, 2010

There’s packets of chicken noodle soup in the breakroom. Why? Because we’re out of creamer, of course! Seriously. This makes no sense. The restock guy came by, restocked what we were out of but somehow thought that packets of Cup of Noodle chicken soup (with dehydrated chicken bits!) was an acceptable replacement for fucking creamer.

I know that since we’re under the Big Blue Brother our budget has been cut, but fuck me running, we’re still in this building for another couple of months. Do you think the coffee drinkers will stand for this much longer? Holy shit, I’m already afraid to go into the break room in the mornings! The hot chocolate was gone months ago, the creamer has disappeared, and the filtered water dispenser likes to “pee” on itself every couple of days. And cups! Holy crap, you would have thought there was a nationwide cup shortage. Granted, we should all be using our own reusable cups but sometimes you just need a paper cup.

Or a paper towel.

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An Open Letter To Lotus Notes

Filed Under: work by topenga — Comments Off on An Open Letter To Lotus Notes
November 30, 2010

Dear Lotus Notes,

Stop telling me I have new mail in my xplanner folder. In fact, I don’t have ANYTHING in that folder. It’s empty. I deleted everything. And yet, you insist that that there’s new mail there. You are wrong. It’s okay to be wrong sometimes.

Stop telling me I have mail then not show me the new mail. I get little popups all day saying I have mail. But sometimes it’s just not there. Stop doing this. It’s annoying.

Stop delivering mail 18 hours later. I watched someone send me mail yesterday afternoon at 3:30pm. I watched him do it. He typed, he entered my name, he hit send. I didn’t get it until 10am this morning. What the fucking fuck? This happens on a regular basis. When my email is suddenly quiet, I know that the next morning my inbox will be chock full of messages from the day before, sent when I was still in the office, with a delivery date and time of the day before.

LET ME SHIFT CLICK ALL MY MESSAGES, RIGHT CLICK, AND SELECT “READ ALL”. WHY CAN I NOT DO THIS? WHY? THIS IS BASIC UI SHIT!

You sent me a message to turn off my Out Of Office message. How nice of you. Silly me, I thought that since there was a goddamn end date on the out of office reply thingy that you would, you know, stop sending replies and turn yourself off after that date. How wrong I was. Yes, you didn’t send replies, but you didn’t manage to turn yourself off either. You sent me a message telling me how to turn it off. Which leads me to…

Stop giving me wrong instructions. You sent me a message on how to turn off my out of office replies and they were wrong. Hilariously wrong. You sent me to a menu that didn’t even exist. What the fuck is that about? How do you even do that?

Lotus Notes 8.51, you are a festering pile of shit. A festering pile of failed shit in a misery and woe bowl. Christ, if I could not use you, I would. I never thought that I would say this, but you make me miss Outlook.

Die in a fire.

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Older Houses Fucking ROCK

Filed Under: house by topenga — Comments Off on Older Houses Fucking ROCK
July 29, 2010

My house was built in 1977. There are a couple of things about it that I think make it better than a new house:

  1. The foundation is quite settled. When we ripped up the carpets, there were few tiny hairline cracks (normal) and ZERO big ones.
  2. TREES, motherfucker. Real, full grown, adult trees. Trees mean shade, and shade on the house means lower cooling bills. Keep them trimmed, fed and watered. Baby trees fall over and die at the mere hint of a drought.
  3. Strong construction. We found this out when we did network drops. The studs are real, strong hardwood. None of this knotted, crooked, rapid growth crap.
  4. Not made of Chinese made, poor quality drywall. If my drywall is poor, then it was poorly made in the good old US of A. Yeah, I got nothing.
  5. More than 10 feet away from my neighbors.
  6. My own mailbox in front of my goddamn house. None of this collective apartment complex-like crap.
  7. Plenty of “why in the FUCK did they build it like THIS” moments. In other words, it’s not a cookie cutter house. Yeah!

Okay, it’s not a lot, but I do like my house, even though it’s old and starting to show it’s age.

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Older Houses Fucking Suck

Filed Under: house by topenga — Comments Off on Older Houses Fucking Suck
July 29, 2010

My house was built in 1977. A lot of shit goes wrong/gets old in 33 years.

  1. The sewage/drainage pipe is cast iron. What this means: NO DRANO. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT DUMP DRANO DOWN THE DRAIN FOR A CLOG. *Ahem* It could be worse. I could have a pipe made of tar paper. that’s it, just thick layers of tar paper that will eventually compress and restrict the flow of sewage from your house.
  2. The water supply pipes (under the sink and behind the toilet) are possibly copper. What this means: simple renovations can be a bitch. Want to resue the fixture but replace the sink? Good luck. Pray you don’t bend the pipe or…fuck it, just use flexible supply lines like every one else.
  3. The gas line running to the hot water heater was up to specifications in 1977. What this means: It’s not up to spec in 2010. Some plumbers will refuse to touch your water heater if it breaks. Some will claim you’re grandfathered in. Welp. It’s been about 5 years since the water heater was replaced. We’re not dead yet.
  4. The house came with a “new” above the range microwave. What this means: the microwave was made in 1986. That’s technically newer than 1977. It also means that there is no extra counter space in the kitchen. Why would you need it? The microwave takes up no room! Oh, by the way, a replacement is about $200.
  5. The ceilings have acoustical popcorn sprayed on it! What this means: It’s full of asbestos. You can get it removed for cheap by people who won’t seal off the house properly (we’re talking full Andromeda Strain sealing off) or you can pay out the ass. That popcorn starts to look just fine, don’t it? Gives it a nice old school charm…
  6. Water supply lines might possibly have been run through the foundation. What this means: If your foundation shifts significantly, you spring a leak and *whoosh* suddenly people are CUTTING OPEN YOUR FLOORS and you’re applying for a second mortgage and turning tricks if your insurance doesn’t cover it.
  7. The wall my TV is on has two outlet panels: one for a tv and one for a lamp on one pair of sockets and a place for your hi-fi with a socket to spare on the other! What this means: Powerstrips. Lots of them. Don’t fuck around with 6 outlet strips. I use 2 11 port (or so) strips on one side and an 8 port on the other.
  8. In the dining room, I have this lovely almost bay window and in the master bedroom, one of the walls is sort of inset by a foot and a half or so, perfect for a bed. What this means: To get these charming features, something different needed to be done with the framing. And that something different means that you can’t drill into that adorable overhang over the bed nor can you drill into the space directly above that quaint bay window. I’ve tried.
  9. Trees. Established trees. What this means: Old trees have deep established roots. So established that they will seek out and destroy your foundation and your sewage line. They also get old and die necessitating their removal or falling on the house…necessitating it’s rebuilding.
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Ahhhhh fuckstockings!

Filed Under: school by topenga — Comments Off on Ahhhhh fuckstockings!
July 27, 2010

Spring semester was a disaster. Contact advisor, get told I must retake that class and register for one other (better to get the overall gpa up). Fine. Early registration had come and gone. And if I hadn’t held on to hope like a rat on a piece of driftwood in a hurricane, I would have registered for the fuck up class back then. At the end of spring there were 13 spots open for that class. Registration/schedule changes don;t happen until 8/12. So how is it that when I look today, there are only 3 (THREE) seats left? Goddammit.

Imagine, you are 3 goddamn classes (and a test) away from a graduate degree and shit starts to go pear shaped. Do you push through the pain? Or say “fuck it! I quit!” Because, goddamn, that quit option looks mighty tempting.

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GARDEN!

Filed Under: house by topenga — Comments Off on GARDEN!
June 10, 2010

We started 3 square foot gardens: one 4×4 for veggies, one 2×8 for sunflowers and another 2×8 for strawberries. Well. That’s what was supposed to happen. Oh, we have the 4×4 veggies and the 2×8 sunflowers. The berries and mint? er, no. I made the mistake of buying strawberry plants from Home Depot. The kind in a bag. There was one viable plant out of 20. Fuck. That. Then someone’s cat kept digging in the damn box and killed anything trying to sprout until I sprayed cat repellent. Ugh. So, there is now one strawberry plant, two mint plants (bought from Red Barn Nursery), an onion plant, dill, and…um…other stuff I can’t remember. Oh there’s markers. written with Sharpie…on wood. *sigh* I am not real bright sometimes. I attempted to plant something called Butterfly Weed in an attempt to attract butterflies. It never sprouted. 🙁

Anyway, moving on….in the sunflower box, we have 2 types: Bashful and Teddy Bear.

[singlepic id=23 w=320 h=240 float=left]  [singlepic id=39 w=320 h=240 float=left]

Now. The packet said that the teddies would get to be about 2 feet tall. No prob. The Bashfuls maybe 3 feet. Oh how they lie.

The veggie box…I have harvest green beans twice now. They taste great. The lettuce is tall and strong and ready for eating once I figure out how to harvest it. The herbs are looking pretty nice. The broccoli got eaten by insects before I even realized it sprouted. Fuck. The cucumbers….have you ever been afraid of a plant? I went out to find that these guys had crawled (?) over to strangle the marigolds and beat out my beans. The hell? It also found it’s way out of the cage that @aelerelean built. Out of it. Yes. It found the 2 inch gap between the lid and the wall. I have cut it down 5 times. This morning it was a good 5 inches outside the gap. *sigh*

Here’s the gallery of plants:

[nggallery id=3]

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–Packrat (or Packrat=packrat -1; )

Filed Under: house by topenga — 2 Comments
May 2, 2010

I spent about 4 hours studying for my final on Wednesday night. Go me. As a reward, I decided to clean out the livingroom closet. Actually, I was looking for something in there but it’s so clutter with…crap….that I just said “fuck it, I’ll clean it out. And pick up those poker chips that spilled over a year ago. What did I find?

  • (1) One PSX, modchipped (for you young ‘uns it’s what they now call a PSOne but the first design not the slimmer second run)
  • (2) Two DDR dance pads
  • (1) audio cassette rack containing somewhere between 80-90 cassettes (again, for you young people, audio cassettes were used to listen and record music on, using a thing called a tape recorder. If you were lucky, it help a whole 90 minutes of music. And they are a bit smaller that an ipod touch. Wacky, I know.)
  • (2) kites
  • (1) box of 12 wine glasses. I’m the only one who drinks in this house.
  • (1) HP Media Receiver, still in the box.
  • (1) box of about 750ft. of Cat6 leftover from that cabling adventure
  • A lot of poker chips
  • The tin box where the poker chips came from
  • (1) box of shitty curtains from my apartment I moved out of 7 years ago
  • Board games. Jesus fuck, the board games
  • (5) FIVE GODDAMN PURSES
  • (3) Three Laptop bags/backpacks
  • (1) One soft sided cooler
  • (1) One soft sided cooler/backpack thing? Hell if I know.
  • (1) One laptop
  • A BUNCH OF SHIT THAT HASN’T SEEN THE LIGHT OF DAY SINCE 2003.

So, yeah. Some of this crap is headed for charity. Some of it, the dumpster.

It was a productive Sunday.

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Greed Knows No Bounds

Filed Under: school by topenga — Comments Off on Greed Knows No Bounds
March 19, 2010

Man oh man have a got a doozy for y’all.

With every passing semester, I have become increasingly disillusioned with my grad school experience. From the shitty selection of classes for the remote campus folk to the difficulty in actually getting the classes I need to the absolutely shit-ass parking situation that NO ONE seemed to think about before opening up another goddamn school. Wednesday, however, was IT. I mean, the ultimate in “wow, this department really does not give two shits about us.”

To remain in the CS grad program, you must take two tests during your first semester. One is a communications test (write an essay, prove you can communicate in English very much good) and a programming skills test. This test is on paper and the language is C++. Woe unto you if you are steeped in Java or any other language not C++. Me? I suck at it. I was never formally taught it, so my brain defaults to C. I failed the test. I felt like a goddamned moron. If you fail this test, you have to burn 3 credit hours (and about $1k) to take a programming remedial course. The course itself is fine. I guess. It’s a crash course in C++, perfect for someone who needs to brush up on skills, horrible for anyone who has no idea how programming works. So here I sat in that class with about 15 other people. 15. When I took the test there were about 30 people. Wow, I thought, we’re all morons! OH NO NO NO. I found out Wednesday that the fail rate is 50%. 50% of students who take this test fail it (or if you’re a glass-is-half-full kinda person, 50% pass it). You know who’s in that 50%? Not just “never touched code in my life” people, but people like my classmate who CODES IN C++ FOR A GODDAMN LIVING. Wouldn’t that mean that there’s a problem with the test? According to my Wednesday professor? Hell yes. According to the rest of the department? Oh no! It’s actually good that students fail that test! Yeah, so they have to spend more money to take the required remedial class that counts toward your GPA but not towards your credit hours for graduation. I almost cannot think of a more blatant money grab than this heap of horseshit. Okay fine, so you fail this test and take the class. Is it ever taught in Round Rock? Nope. The guy who teaches it will NEVER come to Round Rock. Ever. This is what my prof is saying, point blank. She recommended that people email the department and say “hey we want the class taught in Round Rock” and if they get 10 (maybe 5) or more, they will honor that request. I laughed. Out loud. She claimed that the department really does care about the remote students. I laughed again and said quite plainly “It sure doesn’t feel like it.” And then I told her how I had in fact emailed the department about the weak class selection, the fact that required classes are being offered with ridiculous timing (once every 2 years in Round Rock? Really?), and the lack of talks/symposiums/etc for us remote folks. What have I gotten back? Absolutely nothing. No “we’re looking into it”, no “thank you for your concern”, not even a “hey, we got your email”. Disillusioned and pretty pissed? Yeah. You might say that.

I like my Wednesday night professor. She;s nice, she gives a shit, she’s one of two that seem to. The other? Also female and getting shit on by the department as far as I can tell. Well, you tell me, what do you call it when you take a damn fine professor and instead of having her teach something she knows cold and is considered the best in that subject, you have her teach something like Ethics (sophomore level class, no less), leaving her subject to be taught by someone who doesn’t have a clue. Never taught it, barely knows the subject and subsequently fucks it up for everyone? Exactly.

So, no, this is not about begging for professor’s time or being their slaves (not for me, anyway. I’m not doing a research track). It’s about them seriously not giving a shit and trying to grab whatever cash they can.

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